Quotulatiousness

August 3, 2010

Brett Favre announces his retirement

Filed under: Football, Media — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 11:13

Either he’s really worried about that ankle, or he’s upset that his intentions are being taken for granted . . . and this will certainly shake things up in the NFC North. Bleacher Report has a quick summary:

Brett Favre began to inform Vikings officials Monday night he will not return for his 20th season, according to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune and Jay Glazer of FOX.

Favre reportedly told teammates and coaches that his ankle has not responded and he doesn’t plan to play this year. Favre is expected to issue a press release later Tuesday and the team hopes he changes his mind.

If the retired-then-unretired-then-re-retired Favre doesn’t change his mind again, the happiest man in Minnesota today is Tarvaris Jackson.

Update: ESPN report:

Update, the second: Of course, for some people this news means that the sad-sack Vikings will be lucky to beat anyone this season. Apparently the only thing that matters for success in the NFL is your quarterback: running backs, wide receivers, offensive line, defence, they’re all immaterial compared to the quality of your quarterback.

July 31, 2010

Vikings training camp opens

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 10:41

The Minnesota Vikings opened training camp yesterday at Mankato. Not attending, as expected, is quarterback Brett Favre. Two players started camp on the physically unable to perform (PUP) list: cornerback Cedric Griffin (recovering from a torn ACL) and wide receiver Sidney Rice (hip injury from the NFC title game).

Pat Williams reportedly lost 18 pounds over the off-season, prompting coach Brad Childress to say “Pat’s big enough to eat hay and (poop) in the street. I’m not sure how he lost those 18 pounds, but I’m happy he did.”

July 27, 2010

It must not be Favre-centric enough yet . . .

Filed under: Football, Media — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:41

. . . now instead of playing the “will I/won’t I” game, he’s tossing out the notion of playing for another decade:

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre figured he was “done” playing football at 40 years old immediately after the NFC Championship Game, but now isn’t ready to say whether he will return for 2010, retire — or maybe hang around for another decade.

In an interview published today in USA Today, Favre compared the latest left ankle surgery he underwent 10 weeks ago to “doin’ patchwork on a your truck or lawn mower.

“If you do enough patchwork, eventually you’ve got to a get a new one,” he joked. “Hell, you gotta quit sometime. Then again, maybe I will be doing this when I’m 50 years old, who knows?”

While I expect Favre to decide to play just after training camp breaks (as he’s on record as hating to attend, and arranged to sign with Minnesota at that point last year), I could do without the constant public indecision . . .

July 22, 2010

Swordplay is hard work

Filed under: History, Sports — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:21

Peter Saltsman visits Toronto’s Academy of European Medieval Martial Arts (AEMMA) and finds that there’s not much “play” when you’re just starting to learn how to wield a sword:

I was hoping this courageous group of historians and hobbyists could teach me to fight like they do in movies such as Robin Hood, Macbeth or the new Pillars of the Earth series. In the movies, it looks so easy. The sword fights I know are the perfect harmony of choreographed bravado, hyperbolic grunting and dramatic pauses for someone to say “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

To the disappointment of my eight-year-old self, real medieval combat is nothing like that.

“They’re not really trying to hit each other,” says Cal Rekuta, a Senior Free Scholar at AEMMA, of cinematic battles. “Stage fighting is the art of looking dangerous. We’re actually studying how it was dangerous.”

I was in over my head. When a man dressed in a full suit of chain-mail armour — armour he weaved himself — talks about danger, he probably means it.

I visited AEMMA once, several years ago. It was quite an enjoyable experience, but I’m more interested in later-period swordwork than most of their membership at that time.

July 8, 2010

QotD: Golf

Filed under: Humour, Quotations, Sports — Tags: — Nicholas @ 16:55

I am at peace with my decision. Never again will I experience the thrill of taking out a driver on the first hole and watching as my ball sails high, higher, before settling gently onto the ladies’ tee box. Not once more shall I, in search of a wayward shot, be obliged to march into woods, or swamp, or marsh, or parking lot, or that fairway two holes over, or pro shop. Nevermore shall I shank it, pull it, hook it, slice it, flub it, duff it, lose it left, lose it right, sky it, top it, worm-burn it or — most humiliating of all — just plain miss it.

I have tried, at great cost to wallet and sanity, to become not lousy at golf. I have read books and watched Internet tutorials. I have invested in pricey irons and massive drivers and hilarious pants. I have taken a number of lessons from a number of golf pros. One of them went to the trouble of videotaping my swing so we could view and analyze it together. I remember catching his expression out of the corner of my eye as the tape played — he had the look of a young child watching someone beat a baby panda to death with a baby koala.

Scott Feschuk, “Let us now bid my game a sad farewell: Never again shall I shank it, pull it, hook it, slice it, flub it, duff it, sky it, or just plain miss it”, Maclean’s, 2010-07-08

July 3, 2010

More swordwork today

Filed under: Randomness, Sports — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 09:26

As I expected, the larger turnout of fencers yesterday prevented me from repeating as high a finish as the last two tournaments, but there’s more happening today. The morning tournament was a double-elimination, but the afternoon was a much briefer single-elimination. At least with double-elimination, you can recover from a mistake (theoretically).

July 2, 2010

Off to do some swordwork

Filed under: Randomness, Sports — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 10:12

There’s a big SCA event literally down the street from us today, so I’m off to do some rapier fencing. The last two tournaments I entered went very well for me (first place and second place), even though they were more than a year apart. I doubt I’ll do so well today: lots more competition including folks I’ve never fought before. Still, it should be a lot of fun.

June 29, 2010

QotD: Canada’s ongoing self-esteem binge

Filed under: Cancon, Law, Quotations, Sports — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 13:48

In light of Thursday’s Canada Day celebrations, pointing out that efforts to outlaw hurt feelings is now a regular part of this country’s modus operandi may make me a party-pooper. But waiting for another time won’t make the truth any easier to bear: From human rights commissions to hate crime laws to civil law suits, Canada has made an art of punishing otherwise perfectly legal behaviour simply because it happens to make someone feel bad. We’ve become a nation of petty grievance-hoarders and tip-toers terrified of offending.

The big problem with this state of affairs (besides how generally unbecoming it is)? It’s slowly making us a spiritless, brittle people. The ability to navigate the ups and downs of life — with a particular emphasis on the downs — is what fosters resilience and flexibility.

If you never have to face the consequences of getting cut from a team, or turned down for a job, or insulted by a heartless idiot, you never develop the sense of perspective (or sense of humour) that it takes to be a well-rounded and capable individual who has the confidence to handle defeat. That’s something parents have to teach their kids, and countries have to teach their citizens. Losing hurts, but you can’t expect mom and dad or a human rights commission to shield you from everything but sunshine and roses.

Marni Soupcoff, “Hockey dads need to grow up”, National Post, 2010-06-29

June 15, 2010

Instead of “Car!” they yell “Bylaw Officer!”

Filed under: Bureaucracy, Sports — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 18:25

Did you know that it’s against Toronto bylaws to play road hockey?

Ball hockey is played on streets across the city, but many people may be surprised to learn it’s not allowed.

Councillor Glenn De Baeremaeker certainly was. He looked around the room today at the public works and infrastructure committee, which he chairs, and pointed out that he was likely surrounded by “bylaw violators”.

He said banning the sport on roads is “just plain silly”.

“I don’t want to fill up our jails with ten and 11-year-old children whose great crime was to run around with hockey sticks and orange balls, yelling the word car all the time,” he said. “Kids can play hockey on the Internet but then they stay inside by themselves and eat marshmallows.” Violating the city bylaw won’t get you thrown in jail, but it could net you a $55 fine.

The only good news about the bylaw is that it (to date) has never been enforced.

June 12, 2010

In this case, a tie is (kinda) okay

Filed under: Britain, Soccer, USA — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 16:51

In international competitions, it’s always hard to watch when your first and second favourite teams play head-to-head. Had Canada made it to the World Cup, I’d be cheering for Canada first, England second, and USA third. Canada didn’t qualify (again), so I had to watch my other two preferred teams fight it out. A draw at least leaves both teams alive for advancing out of the group stage.

To see how the game unfolded according to the Twitterati, check this Guardian page, where it tracks the progress of the game against the hashtagged posts on Twitter.

June 7, 2010

Tweet of the day: World Cup edition

Filed under: Humour, Soccer — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 10:33

pheadtony: Erectile dysfunction is on the increase. If you suffer, please put a white flag with a red cross on your car to show your support.

June 4, 2010

At least it’s not rectangular

Filed under: Africa, Soccer — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 09:07

The official World Cup soccer ball is not popular with some folks. Keepers, in particular:

[G]oalkeepers dislike the Adidas ball more than Diego Maradona dislikes reporters and photographers. Although to the keepers’ credit, they have not yet fired at the balls with air rifles or run over them in their cars.

Basically, the ball is being criticized for being too light and too curvy, as if it were a fashion model who eats too little food and has too much plastic surgery.

Altitude and technology will not only cause goalkeepers stress, but also make balls carry too far on crosses, causing some headers to be missed by two feet, said Marcus Hahnemann, a reserve keeper for the United States and a man not given to understatement.

“Technology is not everything,” Hahnemann said Thursday. “Scientists came up with the atom bomb; it doesn’t mean we should have invented it.”

Adidas has christened the World Cup ball Jabulani, which is apparently Zulu for “offends goalkeepers.”

Not really. The name actually means “to celebrate.” But it has been lost in translation for the guys between the posts.

I seem to recall plenty of disdain being heaped on the official ball every World Cup since I started paying attention. Watch for this article to be re-run in four years’ time, with new names appearing in the fill-in-the-blank spots.

June 1, 2010

This is a solution in search of a problem

Filed under: Cancon, Soccer — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 12:09

The wise heads at the Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer league have decided to stamp out all the evils of competitive soccer once and for all:

In yet another nod to the protection of fledgling self-esteem, an Ottawa children’s soccer league has introduced a rule that says any team that wins a game by more than five points will lose by default.

The Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer league’s newly implemented edict is intended to dissuade a runaway game in favour of sportsmanship. The rule replaces its five-point mercy regulation, whereby any points scored beyond a five-point differential would not be registered.

Kevin Cappon said he first heard about the rule on May 20 — right after he had scored his team’s last allowable goal. His team then tossed the ball around for fear of losing the game.

I coached children’s soccer for more than a decade, and my teams sometimes lost by more than five goals (and occasionally won by similar margins). That’s inevitable, given that recreational soccer teams are not balanced for skill or experience, just for age level. Sometimes random selection puts together three or four very good players (who are not, for whatever reason, playing competitive soccer). Sometimes, otherwise good teams have bad games.

As a parent and as a coach, you know within the first few minutes of a game whether the kids are “in to the game” or if they’re just counting the minutes ’til the final whistle. There’s one thing worse than being beaten by an opposing team by lots of goals . . . and that’s the other team obviously, ostentatiously, not scoring the goals.

I’ve only had it happen against my team once, about six years ago. We were the last-place team in the division and we were facing one of the top teams. It was late in the season, and my kids didn’t have much hope to win, but were still trying. The other team had a higher proportion of bigger players, in addition to having a few really good players. We were down six goals by halftime, and although we were still playing hard, they were out-playing us.

If the second half had gone the same way, it would have been just a bad loss. But the other coach decided to “take it easy” on my team, and loudly and repeatedly directed his players not to score. My players were humiliated for another 30 minutes of “play”. I was surprised we didn’t have fights breaking out on the field: it was that bad.

Next week, I barely had enough players show up for the game. Ironically, even with the few we had, we won that game handily.

Update, June 11: The league has decided to modify the rule:

In response to the feedback, the league decided to get rid of the rule, which will be rescinded starting June 14.

In its place, a new mercy rule will be instituted under which a game will be called once one team has a lead of eight goals. Whichever team is ahead at that time will be credited with the win, Cale said. Teams can then play on if they wish for player development, wrote Cale.

May 21, 2010

More developments in the NFL “StarCaps” case

Filed under: Football, Law — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 14:02

Of interest to Minnesota Vikings fans, the NFL having won the last round, Kevin and Pat Williams managed to get the court to rule in favour of continuing the injunction:

Pat Williams and Kevin Williams are likely going to be available for most or all of the 2010 season after being granted an extension to the temporary injunction granted in an 11-page opinion from Hennepin County District Court Judge Gary Larson this morning.

In his decision, Larson said that the Williamses had “satisfied the standard” for proving that their suspensions should be blocked during the appeals process. In short, what the decision appears to show is that the Williamses can appeal the case to the Minnesota Court of Appeals and, even if they lose at that level, would have the chance to appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court. Given the time that having cases filed and heard at both levels typically take several months, it appears at face value that there is little chance both appeals would be heard during the 2010 season

Of even greater interest is the commentary from the presiding judge, which is quite in line with my own feelings on the matter:

“(The NFL) knew StarCaps contained Bumetanide, that players were ingesting Bumetanide, that Bumetanide was dangerous and withheld information about StarCaps, knowing that players would suffer as a result. (The NFL) created a trap that it knew would result in violations of the program.”

[. . .]

“(The NFL) could have easily avoided this very situation by informing players or teams what it already knew — that StarCaps contained a hidden, dangerous substance. (The NFL) knew that many players were already inadvertently ingesting Bumetanide and continued to the place the health, safety and welfare of its players in jeopardy, so that (NFL General Counsel) Adolpho Birch could play a game of ‘gotcha.’ The league clearly allowed a half dozen other players to use Bumetanide without punishment.”

If the ingredient had been listed on the label, or if the NFL had informed players that the ingredient was in the product, the NFL would be quite correct in trying to suspend these players. Because it was not, and they did not, the NFL should go pound sand.

May 19, 2010

The 2012 Olympic organizers want to give your children nightmares

Filed under: Britain, Media, Sports — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 15:05

At least, that’s the only explanation that seems to make sense:

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