pheadtony: Erectile dysfunction is on the increase. If you suffer, please put a white flag with a red cross on your car to show your support.
June 7, 2010
Tweet of the day: World Cup edition
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June 4, 2010
At least it’s not rectangular
The official World Cup soccer ball is not popular with some folks. Keepers, in particular:
[G]oalkeepers dislike the Adidas ball more than Diego Maradona dislikes reporters and photographers. Although to the keepers’ credit, they have not yet fired at the balls with air rifles or run over them in their cars.
Basically, the ball is being criticized for being too light and too curvy, as if it were a fashion model who eats too little food and has too much plastic surgery.
Altitude and technology will not only cause goalkeepers stress, but also make balls carry too far on crosses, causing some headers to be missed by two feet, said Marcus Hahnemann, a reserve keeper for the United States and a man not given to understatement.
“Technology is not everything,” Hahnemann said Thursday. “Scientists came up with the atom bomb; it doesn’t mean we should have invented it.”
Adidas has christened the World Cup ball Jabulani, which is apparently Zulu for “offends goalkeepers.”
Not really. The name actually means “to celebrate.” But it has been lost in translation for the guys between the posts.
I seem to recall plenty of disdain being heaped on the official ball every World Cup since I started paying attention. Watch for this article to be re-run in four years’ time, with new names appearing in the fill-in-the-blank spots.
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June 1, 2010
This is a solution in search of a problem
The wise heads at the Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer league have decided to stamp out all the evils of competitive soccer once and for all:
In yet another nod to the protection of fledgling self-esteem, an Ottawa children’s soccer league has introduced a rule that says any team that wins a game by more than five points will lose by default.
The Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer league’s newly implemented edict is intended to dissuade a runaway game in favour of sportsmanship. The rule replaces its five-point mercy regulation, whereby any points scored beyond a five-point differential would not be registered.
Kevin Cappon said he first heard about the rule on May 20 — right after he had scored his team’s last allowable goal. His team then tossed the ball around for fear of losing the game.
I coached children’s soccer for more than a decade, and my teams sometimes lost by more than five goals (and occasionally won by similar margins). That’s inevitable, given that recreational soccer teams are not balanced for skill or experience, just for age level. Sometimes random selection puts together three or four very good players (who are not, for whatever reason, playing competitive soccer). Sometimes, otherwise good teams have bad games.
As a parent and as a coach, you know within the first few minutes of a game whether the kids are “in to the game” or if they’re just counting the minutes ’til the final whistle. There’s one thing worse than being beaten by an opposing team by lots of goals . . . and that’s the other team obviously, ostentatiously, not scoring the goals.
I’ve only had it happen against my team once, about six years ago. We were the last-place team in the division and we were facing one of the top teams. It was late in the season, and my kids didn’t have much hope to win, but were still trying. The other team had a higher proportion of bigger players, in addition to having a few really good players. We were down six goals by halftime, and although we were still playing hard, they were out-playing us.
If the second half had gone the same way, it would have been just a bad loss. But the other coach decided to “take it easy” on my team, and loudly and repeatedly directed his players not to score. My players were humiliated for another 30 minutes of “play”. I was surprised we didn’t have fights breaking out on the field: it was that bad.
Next week, I barely had enough players show up for the game. Ironically, even with the few we had, we won that game handily.
Update, June 11: The league has decided to modify the rule:
In response to the feedback, the league decided to get rid of the rule, which will be rescinded starting June 14.
In its place, a new mercy rule will be instituted under which a game will be called once one team has a lead of eight goals. Whichever team is ahead at that time will be credited with the win, Cale said. Teams can then play on if they wish for player development, wrote Cale.
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May 21, 2010
More developments in the NFL “StarCaps” case
Of interest to Minnesota Vikings fans, the NFL having won the last round, Kevin and Pat Williams managed to get the court to rule in favour of continuing the injunction:
Pat Williams and Kevin Williams are likely going to be available for most or all of the 2010 season after being granted an extension to the temporary injunction granted in an 11-page opinion from Hennepin County District Court Judge Gary Larson this morning.
In his decision, Larson said that the Williamses had “satisfied the standard” for proving that their suspensions should be blocked during the appeals process. In short, what the decision appears to show is that the Williamses can appeal the case to the Minnesota Court of Appeals and, even if they lose at that level, would have the chance to appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court. Given the time that having cases filed and heard at both levels typically take several months, it appears at face value that there is little chance both appeals would be heard during the 2010 season
Of even greater interest is the commentary from the presiding judge, which is quite in line with my own feelings on the matter:
“(The NFL) knew StarCaps contained Bumetanide, that players were ingesting Bumetanide, that Bumetanide was dangerous and withheld information about StarCaps, knowing that players would suffer as a result. (The NFL) created a trap that it knew would result in violations of the program.”
[. . .]
“(The NFL) could have easily avoided this very situation by informing players or teams what it already knew — that StarCaps contained a hidden, dangerous substance. (The NFL) knew that many players were already inadvertently ingesting Bumetanide and continued to the place the health, safety and welfare of its players in jeopardy, so that (NFL General Counsel) Adolpho Birch could play a game of ‘gotcha.’ The league clearly allowed a half dozen other players to use Bumetanide without punishment.”
If the ingredient had been listed on the label, or if the NFL had informed players that the ingredient was in the product, the NFL would be quite correct in trying to suspend these players. Because it was not, and they did not, the NFL should go pound sand.
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May 19, 2010
April 30, 2010
Favre’s ankle still not recovered from NFC Championship game
For a second year in a row, Brett Favre will have to consider surgery in order to play in the coming season. Ed Werder has the details:
Favre, who would turn 41 during the 2010 season, told ESPN the ankle injury that he suffered three months ago in the NFC Championship Game against the New Orleans Saints continues to be swollen and painful.
That prompted tests to determine why healing had not occurred and Favre sent the results of those scans to orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrews, who told the quarterback his opinion that surgery is unavoidable.
“We have spoken,” Favre said in an e-mail. “To play again, I would need the surgery, as I suspected. This decision would be easy if not for my teammates and the fans and the entire Vikings staff. One year truly felt like 10 — much like Green Bay for many years. That’s what I was missing in my heart I suppose, a sense of belonging.”
Favre said he must determine whether his affection for the Vikings and his belief they are capable of winning the Super Bowl overrides his disdain for surgery.
Of course, the Vikings may have their quarterback of the future in Ryan Perrilloux . . .
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April 27, 2010
QotD: The NFL draft is like a lottery
Forty-yard dash numbers analyzed to the hundredths of seconds . . . elaborate, heated debates about what round a player “should” be chosen in . . . hours spent viewing film of men in underwear racing around cones. Mysterious lingo: Corey Chavous of NFL Network praised one player during draft weekend for “hip explosion,” Todd McShay of ESPN said another prospect was “tight in the upper chest.” Tim Tebow drafted before Jimmy Clausen — that can’t be right, contact the National Academy of Sciences!
Fascination with the NFL draft is plenty nutty, but the zaniest aspect of this event is the pretense — shared by NFL scouts, draftniks and spectators alike — that drafting is a science. Stare at enough film, click enough stopwatches and you’ll be able to determine who “should” be drafted in what round.
NFL scouts and media draftniks have a self-interest stake in maintaining this illusion, because it makes them seem the possessors of incredible insider information. But in truth, NFL draft choices are like lottery tickets. They may succeed. They may bust. The buyer has no clue what’s going to happen, just like the buyer of a lottery ticket.
Gregg Easterbrook, “Is the NFL draft science or lottery?”, Tuesday Morning Quarterback, 2010-04-27
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April 24, 2010
Draft aftermath
I’m neither happy nor unhappy with the results of the 2010 NFL draft, because (as I’ve said before) I don’t follow college football. I trust that the Vikings’ drafting team had their homework done, had their depth charts properly prepared, and got the best value one could reasonably hope for in a crapshoot like the NFL draft. The last few years have been very good, from a draft perspective, so I’m willing to believe that the same folks who managed to do so well in recent drafts did a similar job this time.
For those, like me, who didn’t tune in to watch the draft live, here are the Vikings’ draft choices for this year:
- 2nd Round (34th pick overall, from trade with Detroit): Chris Cook, Cornerback, Virginia. With starting cornerbacks Antoine Winfield and Cedric Griffin both suffering serious injuries last season, more depth at cornerback was an obvious need. Cook may not have been the player the Vikings originally hoped to draft, but he’ll be a welcome addition to one of the top defences in the NFC (more info from Judd Zulgad here).
- 2nd Round (51st pick, from trade with Houston): Toby Gerhart, Running Back, Stanford. The loss of backup running back Chester Taylor to division rival Chicago clearly motivated this pick. Gerhart will have the opportunity to replace Taylor as Adrian Peterson’s reliever and change-of-pace back (more info from Mark Craig here).
- 4th Round (100th pick): Everson Griffen, DE, USC. “Gives Vikings depth on left side, especially if Ray Edwards leaves as free agent following the 2010 season. Griffen has the ability but most prove he has the maturity to play at the NFL level. ” (Judd Zulgad)
- 5th Round (161st pick): Chris DeGeare, OL, Wake Forest. Viking Update says he “started all 12 games at left tackle in 2009. He led the offensive line in knockdown blocks three times and graded out at better than 90 percent in games against Miami and Florida State. DeGeare was a Freshman All-America during his rookie season in 2005 and was also a member of the ACC All-Freshman team by the Sporting News“.
- 5th Round (167th pick): Nate Triplett, LB, Minnesota. “One of the few former walk-ons to receive an invitation to this year’s combine, Nate Triplett’s career as a Gopher slowly built until he was given the chance to start every game as a senior. He took full advantage, making 105 tackles, five for loss, two interceptions and five pass breakups” (Scout.com).
- 6th Round (199th pick): Joe Webb, QB, UAB. Will probably be converted to WR. Sports Illustrated said: “Webb has been productive on the college level at a variety of positions for Alabama Birmingham. During the Senior Bowl he made a seamless transition back to receiver and looks like a natural at the position. Still rough around the edges, Webb must improve his route running and increase his speed, but he has all the skills to be a fourth wide out for an NFL team.”
- 7th Round (214th pick): Mickey Shuler, TE, Penn State. “Gives Vikings depth at this position and could be eventual replacement for veteran Jim Kleinsasser. First, however, he has to make the roster. Might spend year on practice squad. ” (Judd Zulgad)
- 7th Round (237th pick): Ryan D’Imperio, LB, Rutgers. Will probably be converted to FB. Sports Illustrated said: “D’Imperio is a two-down run defending linebacker best playing downhill. He possesses marginal upside for the next level but has a special teams mentality and can back up on the inside in a 3-4 alignment.”
After the end of the formal draft, the Vikings signed several free agents:
- QB R.J. Archer, William & Mary
- OG Thomas Austin, Clemson
- OT Matt Hanson, Midwestern State
- C Tommy Hernandez, UC-Davis
- WR Aaron Rhea, Stephen F. Austin
- SS Terrell Skinner, Maryland
- WR Ray Small, Ohio State
- WR Kelton Tindal, Newberry
- CB Angelo Williams, Ferris State
- OT Marlon Winn, Texas Tech
These guys may not end up sticking with the team, but there’s usually one or two of the free agent signings who make a strong showing through training camp and into the pre-season. I have no idea if any of them will make the regular season roster, but here’s hoping, guys.
April 23, 2010
Vikings trade draft picks with Detroit Lions
As I noted in an update to yesterday’s post, the Vikings traded away their first-round pick to the Detroit Lions, who chose a running back with that selection. The source I was using for the update information didn’t completely clarify what the details of the trade were, so I mistakenly assumed that Detroit had given up more than they really did:
The Vikings’ quarterback of the future was sitting right there for the taking as the clock wound down to the 30th pick in the first round of Thursday night’s NFL draft.
Jimmy Clausen nearly had fallen out of the first round and now the Vikings had the opportunity to fulfill what had been predicted in so many mock drafts.
Only in real life, the Vikings didn’t pull the trigger.
Instead, they dealt their first-round pick to NFC North rival Detroit, along with a fourth-round selection (128th overall), for the Lions’ second- (34th overall), fourth- (100th overall) and seventh-round picks (214th overall).
With the Vikings’ first-rounder, the Lions took California running back Jahvid Best.
What little I’d heard about Clausen made me apprehensive that the Vikings might be bringing in a player who would not be a good fit, so I thought the trade made good sense. I thought that they might have drafted Tim Tebow, but he was already off the board by the time the Vikings selection came up.
Of course, with the 2nd pick in the 2nd round, the Vikings can be relatively certain that the Rams won’t pick another quarterback, having taken Sam Bradford with the 1st pick . . . but they could trade that pick to someone who does want to draft Clausen. We’ll find out tonight, I guess.
Update: Jim Souhan also thinks Clausen would be a bad fit for the team:
The Vikings were right to trade their first-round draft pick.
They were right to avoid Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen, a bratty kid who would have been a lousy fit in the Vikings’ veteran, professional lockerroom.
They were lucky they weren’t forced to consider Tim Tebow, who will be one of the great draft busts in NFL history.
They were right to abide by an NFL truism, that picks at the end of the first round aren’t much different than picks in the second round.
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April 22, 2010
Tonight’s 1st round of the NFL draft
As in previous years, I have nothing useful to say about the draft because I don’t follow US college football — I don’t know the Heisman Trophy winner from the redshirt freshman at your local junior college. I’m so uninvolved that I won’t even catch the TV coverage.
My favourite team, the Minnesota Vikings, have eight picks in the draft (before the traditional horsetrading gets underway), and were expected to pick a cornerback in the first round (where they have the 30th pick). Yesterday, they signed former Eagle and Jet cornerback Lito Sheppard to a one-year contract, so they’re now expected to pick a defensive lineman . . . or maybe a quarterback (Tim Tebow, anyone?).
Under the circumstances, I did find this Wall Street Journal article quite interesting:
For a league that does many things well, the first round of the NFL draft is a mess.
The league gives its worst teams first crack at incoming college talent in the name of parity, but instead of giving bad teams a leg up, it often forces them to draft players they don’t really need at prices they can’t afford. Many top picks hold out of training camp before they sign, only to end up with enormous contracts that have little to do with their true value to a football team.
What’s more, as this page reported Wednesday, NFL teams have a 50% chance of blowing a first-round pick entirely — the sort of costly gaffe that can set a franchise back for years.
Granted that there is no perfect mechanism available to replace the current draft process, it’s pretty clear that improvements could be made. Gregg Easterbrook has been championing a rookie salary cap for several years, which would move the monster contract negotiations out from initial signing to a later date, allowing teams to pay more directly for demonstrated ability (but even that sort of system could be gamed, of course). As I wrote last year:
The story repeats, draft after draft, as highly touted college stars are taken early in the first round, sign megabucks contracts and then go into the witness protection program. A rookie salary cap would be in the interests of almost everyone: teams, veteran players, and rookies-not-taken-in-the-first-round. The only ones who’d see their situation change for the worse would be the first 32 players taken in the draft (who would now have to prove that they can make the transition to the pro league before being rewarded with big contracts).
Update, 10:45pm: Speaking of horse-trading . . . I just happened to check the New York Times liveblog, and Minnesota has traded their first round pick, #30, to the Detroit Lions. No Viking pick in the first round, but they get Detroit’s pick in the second round, #34 overall, plus a 4th (#100) and a 7th (#214) in exchange. QB Jimmy Clausen had slipped from a speculated top-10 pick all the way to 30, where the NY Times folks were speculating he’d be the Vikings’ pick. Don’t know if he’ll still be there at the 34th pick, or if the Vikings are even interested (the chatter had them interested in Tim Tebow, who went to the Denver Broncos with the 25th selection).
March 11, 2010
Reducing the over-mighty penalty kick in soccer
Andrew Potter makes a strong case for FIFA to address the disproportional effect of awarded penalty kicks in soccer games:
. . . the real problem is that it is the penalty shot itself which is unsportsmanlike. With a success rate of 85% it is already such a gross mismatch in the striker’s favour that I don’t see how much additional advantage is gained by permitting a bit of a fake-out; if anything, I suspect we’ll see the occasional embarrassment when a shot-taker pauses over the ball only to see the goalie standing calmly, waiting for a week one-legged kick from an out-faked faker.
But otherwise, I expect the penalty shot to continue to wreak havoc with the tactical nature of the game, for two reasons. First, because goals are so hard to come by in regular play, second, because a penalty shot has such a high success rate, and third, because one must be awarded for any direct foul inside the 18-yard box the referee has no discretion here it makes diving (or “simulation”) one of the most effective moves in the attacker’s arsenal. It doesn’t matter if you were hauled down from behind at the 8 yard line while on a breakway, or tripped by accident in the far corner of the box with your back to the goal, both get you a trip to the twelve-yard line for a pk, and what is pretty close to a free goal.
I can think of fewer rules in sport that have such an overwhelming impact on how the game is played, and play such a decisive role in determining the outcome of so many games. As such, I find the penalty kick in soccer one of the most unsportsmanlike elements in any sport. But maybe this is because I misunderstand the intent of the rule.
Back when I was still coaching youth soccer, we didn’t have too much trouble with penalties, but only because our games were played with only a single official. As soon as you add in a couple of assistant referees, the number of penalties awarded seemed to go up . . . because there was more chance that infractions would be noticed with the extra eyes on the game (and probably also a greater chance that diving would successfully draw a penalty, too).
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Colby Cosh tries to introduce physics into hockey debate
Aside from women’s hockey at the Olympics, I don’t follow the sport, so I’m happy to depend on the educated opinions of those who do. Colby Cosh points out that the debate over blows to the head in hockey should concentrate on a simple, clearly defined rule:
A memo to those who are concerned with (hitherto) legal checks to the head in the NHL: I sure hope you’re not just fighting physics. Because you’ll lose.
I see nothing wrong with the proposed new rule against blind-side hits to the head. I’d be willing to take it even further, and adopt an easy-to-apply strict-liability standard; if you hit somebody in a way that induces unconsciousness, or causes a concussion, you sit out the next n games. This would spare us from adopting hard-to-apply rules whose enforcement might ebb and crest, vary between personalities, and differ between leagues and regions. (It would occasionally lead, like all strict-liability rules, to unfair-seeming results and punishments for actions that didn’t look unjust or vicious aside from the outcome. But almost anything is better, at least to my mind, than a rule defined by excessively complex language, taught by means of intuitive references to a mass of individual cases, and left to evolve so that everybody thinks he knows the offence when he sees it.)
[. . .]
It’s sometimes observed, for example, that the players are bigger and the game faster than 20 or 30 years ago. But nobody ever sorts out the relative importance of these effects; a player whose mass is 5% bigger has 5% more kinetic energy in open ice, but if his velocity is increased 5%, the energy varies according to the square, and thus increases by more than 10%. If you watch early ’80s hockey, what immediately strikes you, once you get past the sheer horribleness of the goaltending, is the relative slowness of the game. There’s no one reason for this: plenty of things have changed just a little bit, from the quality of icemaking to skate technology to the way skaters are trained. And the change isn’t that extreme, or else Chris Chelios, who actually played early ’80s hockey in the early ’80s, would be unable to draw a paycheque in his weak-bladder years. Still, it’s a factor with exponential weight.
Chris Chelios is nearly as ancient as I am . . . it’s utterly amazing that he’s still able to play at a professional level.
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March 8, 2010
“I’m going to be the best father to them that I can”
I suspect that Antonio Cromartie doesn’t quite understand what the term “best father” means. It’s not a title awarded for total fertility, dude:
The day after the Jets traded for Cromartie, Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum talked about being supportive of their new cornerback, who has the significant burden of supporting seven children by six different mothers in five different states.
“We’re looking forward to him having a fresh start here with us and we’re going to work with Antonio collaboratively to make sure we can do everything we can organizationally to give him the best chance to be successful,” Tannenbaum said. “We’re looking forward to working together in that partnership.”
[. . .]
During a Friday conference call with reporters, Cromartie spoke of how he had to clear up his paternity issues before he can report to the start of the offseason program on March 22.
“I have seven kids in five different states,” Cromartie said. “I made some wrong decisions my first two years in the NFL, and now I have to take that responsibility to be a father.
“I need to deal with my kids and child-support issues,” he added. “Those things are being taken care of. I’m going to be the best father to them that I can.”
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March 2, 2010
Linking Olympic glory with jackbooted thugs?
Frequent commenter “Lickmuffin” responded to the post entitled SWAT forces now spend more time doing non-SWAT policing with a long comment tying together the Olympics and the omnipresent SWAT teams:
I have to say that I really don’t understand your views here.
Olympic fascist spectacle: A-OK!
The actual functional trappings of a police state: Boo, hiss!
You can’t have one without the other. As the man said, you have to break a few skulls to make Olympic Gold. Or something like that.
Lickmuffin then provided an extended discussion on the same theme:
It’s quite simple, really: if you want to host the Olympics, and you want to have a succesful national Olympic team, you have to have armed-to-the teeth SWAT teams.
To fund the Olympics and Olympians, you need to have confiscatory tax rates.
When you have confiscatory tax rates, you’re going to have people trying to avoid the taxes.
Some of those people are going to engage in dodgy and risky behaviour, such as importing, growing, manufacturing or just generally dealing with narcotics.
Some of those people are going to use violence to protect their businesses.
To deal with those guys, you need heavily armed and specially trained police.
Just three degrees of separation there, really, but it works out to something like this:
Publicly funded Olympics = SWAT teams on every corner.
What do we tell people whose family members are killed in no-knock raids where the cops had the wrong address? “Sorry about that, but that snowboarding dude needed a gold medal.”
It’s ironic that the first snowboarder to win a medal for the sport — a Canadian — tested positive for weed.
It’s not ironic at all that the same dude wants to become a Liberal MP. Snowboard boots, jackboots — same thing, really.
It really does cover all the ground, doesn’t it? Just lacking the obligatory German rendering of SWAT as Sturmabteilung, and we’re golden, as they say.
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Those ominous parallels again
I originally just added this as a comment on this post, but it appears to have a bit more life in it.
Gil LeBreton made this pithy observation in his column about the Vancouver Olympics on the 28th of February:
After a spirited torch relay ignited pride in every corner of the country, the Olympic Games began and quickly galvanized the nation.
Flags were everywhere. The country’s national symbol hung from windows and was worn on nearly everyone’s clothing.
Fervent crowds cheered every victory by the host nation.
But enough about the 1936 Berlin Olympics.
I thought it was amusing, so I just added it to the comment thread, but I guess I wasn’t the only one to notice Mr. LeBreton’s insight:
So true. The parallels between Berlin 1936 and Vancouver 2010 are clear, if you just pay attention.
Not everyone has the perspicacity to discern the neo-Nazi threat north of America’s borders. Fortunately, Mr. LeBreton does. Because he’s more observant than most. He makes the cognitive connections others miss:
“For 17 days we were barraged with Canadian flags, rode buses and trains with people in sweatshirts and jerseys adorned with Canadian maple leafs, and were serenaded at venues by Canadian spectators, lustily cheering for Canadian athletes.”
My God. It’s spine-chilling.
The rest of the world was lulled into complacency and Olympic fever. But the Star-Telegram’s crack reporter wasn’t fooled by the crafty Canucks. Their display of patriotism reminded him of something. Something terrifying.
“I didn’t attend the ’36 Olympics, but I’ve seen the pictures. Swastikas everywhere.”
You see? Maple leaf flag equals swastika. Damn you, Canada.
He’s so right. Connect the dots! Look it up, sheeple!
