Quotulatiousness

January 14, 2011

Bruce Arthur continues to bathe Seattle in praise

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:58

Well, sorta:

Three of the four teams that advanced in the NFL playoffs last week did so on the road. The one home team that managed to win was the Seattle Seahawks, who became the first 7-9 team to topple the defending Super Bowl champions. And if Seattle and Green Bay both win on the road, Seattle will become the first 7-9 team to host a conference championship game, by virtue of having won the Oklahoma Dust Bowl of NFL divisions.

If this occurs, by the way, I give up. I will surrender the job of picking NFL games to the coin. You’ll barely be able to tell the difference, really.

[. . .]

By the way, Seattle’s nine losses this season were by 17, 17, 30, 34, 15, 18, 19, 16, and 23 points, which added up to the fifth-worst point differential in the NFL this season, even if you take their playoff win into account. Only Denver, Buffalo, Arizona and Carolina were worse.

And yet with three-quarters of the league lying on various Caribbean beaches letting the bruises heal, here the Seahawks are, two wins from the Super Bowl. Weird? Well, when Marshawn Lynch ripped off that game-sealing, tackle-shedding, 67-yard trample that made the Saints defence look like it consisted exclusively of Canadian pedestrians, it made for the first 100-yard game by a Seattle running back this season.

Up is down, and black is Seahawks blue. At this rate, the Seahawks are going to win the Super Bowl, be collectively elected to form the next American government, discover a universal antibiotic that crushes even the most indestructible of superbugs, and be the first football team to walk on Mars. There, they will defeat a squadron of 14-foot-tall lizard men from a distant galaxy, despite being billion-point underdogs.

January 7, 2011

Something tells me that Seattle isn’t a popular pick

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 12:08

Here’s Scott Feschuk venting his spleen about the myriad wonders that put Seattle into the playoffs as the number 4 seed, despite posting a losing regular season record:

Did you see how coaching mastermind and Up With People alumnus Pete Carroll waited to tip his hand about who’s going to start at quarterback for his Seahawks. That left New Orleans at the disadvantage of having to prepare for both Dumb and Dumber. That’s some sneaky maneuverin’! It’s too bad Seattle couldn’t bring in The Most Sought After Man in the World, Jim Harbaugh, to coach this game. Or quarterback it. Or use his heavenly powers to part the Saints D-line while curing leukemia with his farts. Because according to sports talk radio Harbaugh could totally do it. HE’S A MICHIGAN MAN! Alas, the Seahawks are stuck with the roster that managed exactly one victory this season against a team that finished with a winning record. Every single one of Seattle’s nine losses this year was by more than 10 points. Every. Single. One. Why? Because they are terrible. TERRIBLE. Do not let yourself forget this: They are a terrible football team that is awful! Although in their defence Mike Williams has had a nice season and Carroll’s hair has never had more lustre and bounce. Some people seem to be trying to talk themselves into taking the points. At ESPN.com, one blogger wrote about how “the planets are aligning for a Seahawks victory.” His proof? “The defending Super Bowl champs must travel across the country to face a 7-9 team they defeated by two touchdowns already this season. Is that anything for them to get fired up about?” Um, yes, actually. I’d think the prospect of beginning your quest for a second consecutive Super Bowl title by lining up across from the Spazzy McNumbnuts would indeed be a tantalizing and highly agreeable proposition. Sure, the Saints will be without their two top running backs. But you know why that’s no big deal? BECAUSE THE SEAHAWKS ARE TERRIBLE.

Bruce Arthur chimes in:

Playoffs! We’re talking about playoffs! But not before we check off the list of those who didn’t get here, and therefore got thrown out on their behinds. We’ll go from the top of the trash pile to the bottom, starting with the stinking Seattle Seahawks, who finished 7-9, scored fewer and allowed more points that the 4-12 Cincinnati Bengals, got outscored by a total of 97 points — more than Detroit, Dallas and San Francisco combined — and …

Wait, what? They’re in? Well, that’s ridiculous.

December 31, 2010

Mark Craig: Frazier and Webb are both keepers

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 00:01

Star Tribune columnist Mark Craig thinks the biggest benefit to the Vikings from Tuesday’s game wasn’t the win, but the harbingers of the future:

Frazier is 3-2 with two road wins, the latter over a team that needed to win to secure a first-round bye. He also outcoached Andy Reid, one of the league’s best coaches, while holding the Vikings together through the most ridiculous of circumstances over the past three weeks.

Not knowing who the Wilfs have spoken to or feel they can get to coach the team full-time after this season makes it difficult to declare Frazier the man for the job. But I do not believe they will have a better candidate than the guy they have in place now.

The players respect him as a former player and an even-tempered professional. And obviously they’re willing to follow his lead. Otherwise, last night’s game never would have turned out the way it did.

And on the quarterback position:

As for Joe Webb, all I can say is Brett Favre’s streak of starts coming to an end was beneficial to the future of the franchise. It has allowed everyone to realize: A, Tarvaris Jackson is not the answer, nor will he ever be; and B, Joe Webb has what it takes to play quarterback in the NFL.

First of all, he has the size, athleticism, speed and arm strength. That allows him to be competent while learning how to play the position. Philly’s poor left end spent the whole game watching Webb dodge his pass rush and turn sacks into positive yardage. Secondly, he showed something in his first start that T-Jack never really showed in five seasons: He’s got a feel for the position and he won’t get hurt every time he’s touched.

Webb’s read and throw on the third-and-11 pass to Percy Harvin late in the game was beautiful. If converted a third down and buried the Eagles.

December 29, 2010

Vikings surprise Eagles in rare Tuesday game

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , , — Nicholas @ 12:56

The Minnesota Vikings were two-touchdown underdogs to the Philadelphia Eagles, and some said even that overstated how much of a mismatch this game was going to be. It was such a foregone conclusion that the game wasn’t even broadcast in my area.

As they say, however, the predictions are just guesses. The game certainly didn’t go the way it was expected to:

The victory was sparked by Adrian Peterson’s 118-yard rushing performance and an astute defensive game plan that put consistent pressure on Eagles quarterback Michael Vick. But it also was the result of a performance by a Philadelphia team that looked as if it had spent far too much time celebrating clinching the NFC East on Sunday, when the Packers beat the Giants.

The Eagles were called for 12 penalties as they lost to the Vikings for the first time since the 1997 season, ending a five-game winning streak. The Vikings had not won at Philadelphia since 1985. Philadelphia’s performance was reminiscent of the Arizona Cardinals’ effort in 2008 after they clinched the NFC West and then lost to the Vikings 35-14.

“It was an absolutely pathetic job on my part of getting my team ready to play,” Eagles coach Andy Reid said. “We didn’t coach well and we didn’t play well. It was a complete tail-whipping right there.”

Normally, as Gregg Easterbrook constantly points out, the team that blitzes too much gets burned by the quarterback throwing to his “hot read” (who is uncovered because the defender is blitzing). That wasn’t the case last night:

A game plan designed by Frazier, who had been defensive coordinator before taking over for the fired Brad Childress on Nov. 22, and interim defensive coordinator Fred Pagac made sure Vick was never was able to get comfortable because he faced a variety of looks and was consistently pursued by Antoine Winfield, who blitzed both from the corner and inside.

Vick was sacked six times and finished with an interception and two lost fumbles, including a crucial one late in the second quarter when Winfield stripped the ball from him on a sack, then picked it up and raced 45 yards for a touchdown that tied the score 7-7. Winfield finished with two sacks.

I had been looking forward to watching the game particularly to see how Joe Webb handled his first NFL start at quarterback. He seems to have done well enough:

Webb, meanwhile, got better as the game went along in his first career start, completing eight of 11 passes for 124 yards in the second half. He led the Vikings on scoring drives in their first two series of the third quarter, the first ending with a 30-yard field goal by Ryan Longwell and the second with a 9-yard touchdown run by the raw quarterback, who didn’t see open tight end Visanthe Shiancoe on the play.

Brett Favre is still the starter, if he’s healthy, so there isn’t a quarterback controversy. Whether he’ll be healthy for the final game at Detroit’s Ford Field on Sunday is still unknown.

December 26, 2010

Vikings-Eagles game snowed out, to be played on Tuesday

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 20:13

Could this season be any more disrupted? Yes, apparently it can:

With a blizzard expected to hit Philadelphia today, the NFL announced that the Vikings road game at Philadelphia against the Eagles is now scheduled for Tuesday at 7 p.m. CST.

This move came amid predictions of an intense storm that could bring more than a foot of snow to this city and also winds that could reach 40 miles per hour during the game. It sounds like the storm is supposed to be intense from this afternoon into early Monday.

In an e-mail to the Star Tribune, NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said: “Due to public safety concerns in light of today’s snow emergency in Philadelphia, tonight’s Vikings-Eagles game has been postponed. Because of the uncertainty of the extent of tonight’s storm and its aftermath, the game will be played on Tuesday night at 7 p.m. [CST]. This will allow sufficient time to ensure that roads, parking lots and the stadium are fully cleared. The National Weather Service states that a winter storm warning in Philadelphia remains in effect until 1 p.m. [EST] on Monday.”

December 21, 2010

Bears beat Vikings to claim NFC North division title

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 09:06

The last time the Vikings gave up this many points was a previous game against the Bears, but at least that one was close (48-41 in 2008). This game wasn’t close at all:

Vikings executives spent last week working diligently to make sure Monday night’s game was played in front of their home fans in part because it was meant to serve as a celebration of the franchise’s 50th season in Minnesota.

That was their first mistake.

Given the team’s performance in its 40-14, five-turnover loss to Chicago at TCF Bank Stadium, those execs might have done their fans a greater service by having shifted this game as far away from snowy Minnesota as possible. That way, many in the announced crowd of 40,504 wouldn’t have had to witness a second consecutive listless performance from a team that might have played in the elements but mentally appeared to be in Maui.

The game was supposed to be rookie Joe Webb’s first NFL start, but mirabile dictu the status for Brett Favre was upgraded from “out” to “questionable”, and he somehow managed to get healthy enough to start. It didn’t last too long, though:

Favre’s NFL record consecutive-starts streak had ended at 321 the previous Monday against the Giants because of an injury to his throwing arm and at that point it appeared his career might be finished. But Favre, who has said numerous times this will be his final season, wanted to give playing another shot.

It proved to be a poor idea.

Favre was left lying motionless on the field after taking a crushing hit from defensive end Corey Wootton in the second quarter. He suffered a concussion and was replaced by rookie Joe Webb, who had been scheduled to start in the first place.


Photo from Viking Update.

Webb completed 15 of 26 passes for 129 yards with two interceptions and a 38.8 passer rating and also scrambled six times for 38 yards, including a 13-yard touchdown. But it mattered little against a team that completed a season sweep of the Vikings.

Jim Souhan sent a couple of Twitter updates during the fourth quarter saying that fans were pelting the Vikings bench with snowballs. The quarterbacks were throwing them back, but the Bears players kept intercepting them.

December 17, 2010

Bruce Arthur: “It all falls down”

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 09:37

A lengthy, but pretty accurate, summary of the Vikings 2010 season of futility:

There was no easier metaphor with which to work this year than the collapse of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. Well, technically, it’s not called the Metrodome anymore — the naming rights to the field were bought by Mall of America, but naming rights to fields are about the dumbest thing in sports, other than catering endlessly to Brett Favre after the age of 40 and trading a third-round pick for Randy Moss only to cut him after he complains about the buffet.

So when the great white marshmallow Metrodome roof caved in early Sunday morning in epic disaster-movie fashion, caught by the Fox cameras that some enterprising person left rolling all night, the analogies practically wrote themselves. The Vikings were one play from the Super Bowl last season until Brett Favre remembered that interceptions are his business, and business was good. They were that close.

[. . .]

Of course, the weather thing caught up with the Vikings last week, and their game against the Giants had to be moved to Detroit, where fans got in free and did the wave as Favre’s record consecutive games streak came to an end at 297 due to a numb throwing hand. He can still text-message with his left, presumably.

So this week’s game on Monday Night Football will be held at the University of Minnesota’s stadium. Which sounds great, right? Everyone can drink and laugh and wear scarves and toques and have a blast, college-style!

Well, except the seats are general admission, which means there’s going to be a hell of scramble when the doors open, and it’s going to be pretty cold at night in Minnesota, and oh by the way there’s not going to be any booze. So by my watch, the tailgating should begin right about . . . now.

Oh, and the field isn’t built to be used in these kind of conditions — there is no mechanism to heat the field and melt the snow, for example — so expect a skating rink. Plus, Vikings backup quarterback Tarvaris Jackson is also hurt, so a rookie named Joe Webb will don the ice skates Monday, plus maybe Patrick Ramsey, formerly of Washington Redskins, New York Jets, and Miami Dolphins non-fame.

So it’s official: No fan base — not Panthers fans, not Bengals fans, not Broncos fans, not Dallas fans, not Washington fans (never Dallas and Washington fans, never), not even Detroit and Buffalo fans — has had a worse year than the poor boozeless purple suckers who will freeze in the dark on Monday night in Minnesota. Condolences, guys.

Like everyone else, the Two Scotts go for Chicago to win

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , , — Nicholas @ 00:06

They’re both so positive, I don’t think they’d change their minds even if Scarlett Johansson was playing quarterback:

Chicago (minus 3) at Minnesota, Monday night

Reid: After 297 consecutive starts, Brett Favre stood on the sideline last week for the first time since 1992. Tarvaris Jackson, a bit more modestly, will see his most recent streak end at exactly…one game. He’ll be back on the sideline for the first time since December 5th. Who will start? Creaky old Favre? Third string quarterback Joe Webb (of Dragnet fame) would be an interesting choice. He’s played a total of one series in the NFL but, on the upside, he is able to operate his body. Did we mention this game will be played outside at the University of Minnesota? Pick: Chicago.

Feschuk: Quite a debut for Tarvaris Jackson last week. I really admired how he would drop back in the pocket, look left, look right, look terrified and then scamper about the backfield in manic slapstick desperation. Had the Giants been dressed as British bobbies, Jackson would have been immediately sued for copyright infringement by the estate of Benny Hill. Pick: Chicago.

December 16, 2010

Vikings sign Patrick Ramsey, but Webb still likely to start against Bears

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 08:49

With injuries to Brett Favre and Tarvaris Jackson, Joe Webb was the only remotely healthy quarterback on the roster (and he has been working through a hamstring injury), so the Vikings had to scour the free agent market for a bit of additional insurance. As a result of their search, they’ve signed Patrick Ramsey to back up Webb:

The Vikings unsettled quarterback situation took a new twist Wednesday as the team signed veteran free agent Patrick Ramsey.

Ramsey, joining his eighth team, has not played in a game since 2008 or started one since 2005. It’s unlikely that he will start Monday night against the Chicago Bears, according to coach Leslie Frazier.

The starter likely will be rookie Joe Webb, who has served as the No. 3 quarterback all season until Monday and even played wide receiver two weeks ago. Last week’s starter, Tarvaris Jackson, won’t be able to play because of a turf toe injury, Frazier indicated.

The game promises to be no picnic for the rookie, as the Metrodome has suffered yet another panel tear in the roof, so it’s impossible to get it repaired and back into use by Monday night. It will be the first outdoor home game for the Vikings since 1981, and the Chicago Bears are probably eager to prove that last week’s embarassment was an anomaly. He’s been used to running the scout team, which means every week he’s running a different offence — he hasn’t had many chances to run Vikings plays.

The game will probably be hosted by the University of Minnesota at their new outdoor stadium, which has a few downsides:

  • Open air means that they’ve got over 100 casual labourers currently working to clear accumulated snow from the stands and the field (and more snow is anticipated over the next few days).
  • The field itself isn’t equipped with heating coils, so under that 16 inches of snow, it’s frozen solid (as one player remarked, it’d be like playing on concrete).
  • The stadium has 13,000 fewer seats and far fewer luxury suites than the Metrodome (and the University’s suite owners have the right of first refusal on any event held at the stadium).
  • Perhaps the toughest thing for the fans: no beer. The university doesn’t have beer sales for their home games, so the concession areas are not equipped (and may not be licensed) to serve beer.

Update: Tarvaris Jackson has been put on injured reserve, ending his season. His roster spot will be taken by Patrick Ramsey. That makes it all but certain that Webb will start his first NFL game on Monday Night Football.

December 15, 2010

This should help cure nostalgia for Metropolitan Stadium

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 07:48

The Minnesota Vikings won’t be able to play their last home game at the Metrodome, so the game will be hosted at TCF Bank Stadium on the campus of the University of Minnesota:

Unlike yesterday’s trek to Detroit for an indoor contest against the New York Giants, this game will not only be outdoors but also at a facility that has roughly 13,000 fewer seats than the Metrodome. Both facts will provide unique challenges.

This is the first outdoor home game for the Vikings in 29 years. And TCF Bank Stadium has been completely shut down and “winterized” for the season, prompting one University of Minnesota official to describe the upcoming preparation of the stadium as a “monumental task.”

In addition, some of the aforementioned ticket holders to this game against the Bears will not be able to attend because of the shortage of seats.

On a positive note — and perhaps the biggest reason the game is committed to being played locally — is so the Minnesota Vikings organization can celebrate 50 seasons of Vikings football on a special celebratory evening.

Today’s Vikings fans are probably not as hardy as their parents and grandparents . . . unless the weather is particularly mild next Monday, expect a big uptick of support for a new domed stadium to replace the Metrodome.

December 14, 2010

Jackson fails to impress in relief of Favre

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 07:16

It may have been Tarvaris Jackson’s best chance to prove his value to the Vikings, but he was unable to generate much of a passing game:

It would be nice to say that the transition from Brett Favre to Tarvaris Jackson was smooth and seamless. It also would be untrue.

Finally getting his chance to lay claim to the quarterback position, Jackson played poorly against the New York Giants on Monday night. Save for an early first-quarter drive that resulted in the Vikings’ lone three points, Jackson was terribly erratic, and the offense seemed helpless virtually all night. There were fumbled snaps, trip-ups in the backfield and the usual ghastly interception.

Overall, Jackson completed 15 of 30 passes for 118 yards. He was sacked four times and finished with a 46.2 quarterback rating. The worst part of it was that the Giants were daring him to throw. They were putting eight men up front in an effort to stop Minnesota’s running game. That often left single coverage on the wide receivers.

“We all would have liked for him to play better,” coach Leslie Frazier said gingerly.

It would be unfair to put all the blame on Jackson, however, as the Minnesota run defence allowed two running backs to gain more than 100 yards (after allowing only two 100 yard rushing games since 2006). Between no rush (Adrian Peterson was held to 26 yards on 14 carries), no passing game, and no run defence, the game wasn’t much of a challenge for the Giants.

The roof of the Metrodome turns out to have been a harbinger of the whole Vikings 2010 season: caving in.

December 13, 2010

Favre’s Iron Man streak ends at 297

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 18:07

Just saw an update from the Star Tribune‘s Jim Souhan saying that Brett Favre isn’t on the Vikings’ active roster for tonight’s game. Others on the inactive list are Percy Harvin, Hank Baskett, Tyrell Johnson, Chris Cook, Steve Hutchinson, and Ray Edwards. That’s a lot of talent sitting on the sideline.

Says SouhanStrib: “Does that mean he’ll wear Wranglers and cut-off t-shirt on sideline, with a sweaty golf cap? Maybe a piece of grass between his teeth?”

The latest twist of fate in an already twisted season

Filed under: Football — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 12:51

John Holler has a few thoughts on the bizarre trainwreck of a season the Vikings are experiencing:

The Vikings season has been filled with more twists and turns than a “I wouldn’t take that” mountain road shortcut. Throughout it all, the dysfunctional Vikings family had a home. Until Sunday morning. When the roof caved in on the Metrodome, it might have caved in on the craziest season in recent memory for the Vikings.

Not only are the Vikings not going to be hosting the Giants on Monday night — Detroit gets that free privilege, which begs the question what sort of fan is going to show up in Detroit to watch two teams they don’t like? — but there are significant questions as to what to do next Monday when the Vikings are scheduled to host the football world for the Monday Night Football largesse. Initial word out of TCF Bank Stadium is that the field has been put to bed — ice-encrusted mothballing if you will — and that not only wasn’t it an option for tonight, but it may well not be an option for next Monday either.

Yesterday’s games upset a lot of post-season calculations for other teams in the NFC North:

The Vikings could have been eliminated from postseason contention with a win by the Green Bay Packers Sunday, but both the Packers and Bears got beat. Chicago got pounded at home by the Patriots in a wind-swept smackdown and the Packers, who lost QB Aaron Rodgers in the second quarter, scored just three points in a 7-3 loss at Detroit. Vikings fans denied watching their own team play got both games on TV…well, sort of. The Patriots-Bears game became such a laugher that the powers that be in New York deemed it better to send most of the country that was watching the game to a “more competitive” game — the Dolphins-Jets 10-6 yawner. As such, a win tonight would put the Vikings back into the “still alive” fringe of the playoff bracket tables.

If they win tonight’s game, they’ll move out of the “mostly dead” category. They still won’t be really “alive” in playoff contention without a massively unlikely combination of lucky outcomes in other games.

Sunday’s loss by the Packers could be the death knell for their own playoff hopes. Unless the Vikings can knock off the Giants tonight, the Packers will be behind whichever team (New York or Philadelphia) doesn’t win the division and at a current tie-breaker disadvantage with Tampa Bay in the Packers’ search for a wild card spot. Making matters worse, their final three games are at New England, currently the hottest team in the league, at home against the Giants and at home against Chicago. They must win two of those three at a minimum to make the playoffs and may well need all three.

As hard as it may be for most of them to stomach, the Packers and their fans need to become Vikings fans really quick. Green Bay’s best shot at getting to the playoffs may well end up being winning the division. There is a very good chance that the NFC North will produce just one playoff team. The Bears’ closing schedule has games at Minnesota, vs. the suddenly-desperate Jets at Soldier Field and at Green Bay. If the Vikings can knock the Giants down into a tie with Green Bay at 8-5 and beat the Bears next week, the Packers would level the playing field in terms of tie-breaker advantages in the division and the conference. At it currently stands, from head-to-head to division record to conference record, Chicago holds every edge on the Packers. Green Bay’s loss to Detroit was devastating, so, just as the Vikings have become desperate for a 20-game domino effect to happen in the next three weeks to make the playoffs, the Packers may have just about as significant a hill to climb, leaving them hoping the Vikings play as well as they can and Green Bay’s season sweep comes into play.

Update: Mike Tanier gets in on the act:

Tired of building vinegar-and-baking-soda volcanoes for your children’s science projects? Recreate the collapse of the Metrodome roof instead.

Materials needed: green construction paper, some wooden dowels, a paper towel, about 500 artificial sweetener packets, and a cellphone. Glue some wooden dowels to green construction paper. Moisten a paper towel and fasten it to the top of the dowels. Then puncture it slightly and keep dumping artificial sweetener on or near the puncture spot until the roof gives way. Once the “field” is covered in white powder, use the cellphone to send a series of text messages from Brett Favre to explain how the Midwestern blizzard and the breathtaking footage of a major architectural landmark caving in is really just a backdrop for his personal saga.

December 12, 2010

Vikings-Giants game moved to Detroit after Metrodome roof failure

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 19:38

It’s kinda remarkable to watch:

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&#038;brand=foxsports&#038;from=foxsports_en-us_videocentral&#038;vid=ca15cffb-3b66-49a0-84ca-20ed0a175567" target="_new" title="NFL on FOX: Metrodome collapse">Video: NFL on FOX: Metrodome collapse</a>

The game will be moved to Detroit’s Ford Field as the repairs to the Metrodome will take at least a week, and the other venue in Minneapolis can’t be made ready in time.

December 9, 2010

The Two Scotts say thumbs down on the Vikings

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 12:51

Not surprisingly, the two Scotts think that the Giants are going to win their matchup with Minnesota on Sunday:

New York Giants (minus 2.5) at Minnesota

Reid: Favre is listed as questionable for Sunday after being knocked out of last week’s game on his first passing attempt. Of course, no one really expects the Vikings to bring Brett’s crusade for 300 straight starts to an end — so Tarvaris Jackson has, once again, been sent out to pick up smokes. In a sad effort to convince the coaches he was ready, Jackson even pretended last week to be Favre by tossing three interceptions. No luck. This streak ends at season’s end or with Jenn Sterger moving into Favre’s bungalow. Pick: New York.

Feschuk: Brett Favre is having an annus way more horribilis than that one the Queen had. With Dong-gate now in the hands of the Commissioner, it’s worth reflecting on the details of the poorly understood NFL Code of Conduct policy. Exactly what does it demand of players like Favre? Here are a few excerpts of note:

     * Players are expected to report ON TIME for all meetings, scrimmages and police lineups.
     * Mandatory snickering in the huddle when the quarterback calls for a “two-minute drill.”
     * If you’re buying prostitutes, make sure you bring enough for the whole team.
     * When getting dressed for a public appearance, players are asked to remember that the penis goes on the inside.

Pick: New York.

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