Quotulatiousness

September 30, 2012

The Two Scotts’ NFL picks for the week

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: — Nicholas @ 11:13

I don’t take my NFL picks very seriously, but Scott Feschuk and Scott Reid are as unserious as possible:

San Francisco (minus 4) at New York Jets

Feschuk: […] Now the lockout is over, which is great for football but also a little disappointing. Week 4 brings a whole new slate of games that the replacement officials could have turned into shitshows and I for one was looking forward to seeing what they would do horribly, horribly wrong next. Botch a penalty call? Fail to place the ball on the correct line of scrimmage? Get Chinese food delivered to the red zone? Or maybe this would finally have been the week they called the two tallest players to midfield for a jump ball. […] Pick: San Francisco.

Reid: […] And I was very disappointed indeed when the Vikings put up 146 yards on the ground against my boys in gold. But all things considered, I should have seen this coming. Under the dome in Minny is a tough place to play. The Vikings have an explosive running game. Plus, all year the Niners secondary has been bend, not break. And they got bent a lot in Minnesota (right over the dishwasher as the boys down at the Legion like to say). The good news is that they’ve gotten the boneheaded game plan of the year out of the way nice and early. Here’s a tip Niners: Give Gore more than 12 touches. The Jets are ranked 28th in the league against the run. They couldn’t stop Kat Deeley. Pick: San Francisco.

[. . .]

Seattle (minus 2.5) at St. Louis

Reid: What can you say about the end of Monday night’s game in Seattle that hasn’t already been said by monkeys flinging poop (yes, that means you entire population of Twitter). I’m not suggesting that the Marx Brothers skit passed off as officiating gave the real referees added bargaining leverage but Ed Hochuli demanded that Roger Goodell lovingly massage his biceps each Saturday night as part of any new collective agreement. It’s being called the Absorbine Jr. clause. Lost in all the screeching injustice and flatulent ineptitude was a thoroughly unimpressive offensive effort by Seattle quarterback Frodo Baggins. Russell Wilson is so small he has to stand on a stool to ask Doug Flutie for advice. (For the record, Flutie’s answer to any question is: “I should be starting.”) Wilson threw only nine completions during the game – 10 if you count his pass to MD Jennings. However, there is that defence… Pick: Seattle.

Feschuk: I’ve seen a lot of impressive things in my time – I’ve stood two feet from Angelina Jolie, four feet from Gwyneth Paltrow and right damn next to a Baconator – but I’m not sure I’ve seen anything as impressive as Golden Tate keeping a straight face while telling reporters that, yeah, absolutely, I totally caught that ball in the end zone. Pick: Seattle.

September 25, 2012

QotD: Replacement NFL referees

Filed under: Football, Humour, Quotations — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 10:30

The replacement officials are a mockery wrapped in a travesty, dunked in a vat of incompetence, glazed with WTF and set to the Benny Hill theme song.

Scott Feschuk, “In defence of the replacement officials (Kidding: they’re terrible)”, Maclean’s, 2012-09-25

September 24, 2012

Vikings upset San Francisco 49ers in Minnesota

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 00:01

Lots of bookies are unhappy with the result of Sunday’s game in Minnesota, as the underdog Vikings played a complete game and came out with a big win over the heavily favoured San Francisco 49ers. Tight End Kyle Rudolph came down with two touchdown passes from Christian Ponder, and Ponder scrambled for another TD. Rookie Kicker Blair Walsh set a team record with another 50+ yard field goal to extend his career-opening streak to three games. 1500ESPN’s Tom Pelissero and Judd Zulgad wrap up the game from the Metrodome:

Update: Ted Glover at the Daily Norseman:

God damn it, it may be cheap, and it may be cliche, but this was as solid a team victory as this organization has had in a long, long time. When the offense needed to make a long drive and score, they did. When the defense absolutely, positively, had to get off the field, they did. When the special teams needed a big play, they got one. When Leslie Frazier and the coaching staff needed to dial something up, they did. Honestly, if you can’t get on board after this win, or get pumped up after a victory this convincing, you need to go cheer for another team. I can’t help you. If this was college, and I was handing out helmet stickers, everyone would get one, because this was a great win for this franchise. The Vikings just didn’t beat the 49ers, they flat out kicked their ass.

Kicked. Their. Ass.

September 17, 2012

Vikings amass penalties when they should be amassing points

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 08:42

Follow-up post to yesterday’s Twitter-heavy reaction to another winnable game that the Vikings somehow managed to find a way to lose.

(more…)

September 16, 2012

Vikings lose to Indianapolis 23-20

Filed under: Football — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 17:19

The lack of a deep receiving threat was the dog that didn’t bark in Minnesota’s road loss to the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday. Percy Harvin put in a great effort in a losing cause, and (at least statistically: 27 of 35 for 245 yds, 2TDs and a 114.6 passer rating) Christian Ponder did more than enough to win, but few teams can win on the road when you give up a hundred yards in penalties — most of them stupid, avoidable penalties. The score at the halfway point was 17-6, and if anything that flattered the Vikings.

(more…)

September 10, 2012

Vikings beat Jaguars 26-23 in overtime

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , , — Nicholas @ 08:57

The first half of yesterday’s home opener had all the hallmarks of 2011: miscommunication, bad tackling, poor judgement, and an air of general ineptitude. The game matched up two remarkably similar teams: both led by second-year quarterbacks, both with franchise running backs returning to the game (one from injury, one from a contract dispute), and both desperate to improve on a very disappointing 2011 NFL season.

In spite of the miscues and mistakes, the Vikings kept the game close while the offense tried to get it together. Just before the end of the first half, things started to look positive for the purple, getting on the board with an Adrian Peterson TD (highlights here).

(more…)

September 9, 2012

The most boring team in franchise history

Filed under: Football — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 08:57

That’s the opinion of long-time Minneapolis Star Tribune sportswriter Jim Souhan, who seems to be almost disappointed that there isn’t anything to write about this year’s version of the Minnesota Vikings other than, y’know, the actual on-the-field stuff:

Today, Minnesotans face a difficult choice.

What to watch on TV?

The Vikings open the season at the Metrodome against Jacksonville. That’s an option. There’s also “Food For Thought with Claire Thomas.” And a rerun of “My Name is Earl.” And a spicy new drama entitled “Government Access Programming.”

My advice: Avoid the kind of stress and excitement that can lead to myocardial infarction, and choose the Vikings. Your heart will thank you.

This might be the most boring team in franchise history.

This might be the first boring team in franchise history.

Our Vikings know drama. This is the franchise of quarterback controversies and water-borne debauchery. This is the franchise of wacky owners and rampant arrests, like the time Keith Millard told cops that his arms were more powerful than their guns.

This is the franchise that traded hundreds of players and draft picks for Herschel Walker; watched Denny Green issue statements regarding allegations about his behavior from a bunker of unknown location; twice acquired and ditched Randy Moss; landed Brett Favre just in time for him to become famous for texting pictures of his Crocs; had a head coach scalp Super Bowl tickets; and had a starting quarterback coin the term “Slappy” for back-stabbing backups.

September 8, 2012

Split decision from the two Scotts

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 00:10

Scott Reid and Scott Feschuk are doing their weekly NFL picks again this season. To my surprise/shock/horror, they have the Minnesota-Jacksonville game as the “Sure Thing”. Fortunately, they disagree on which “sure thing” is really the “sure thing”:

Jacksonville (plus 3.5) at Minnesota

Reid: You ever notice that Christian Ponder’s Christian name is Christian? Imagine if his surname was Sur. That would totally rock! But here’s my point: Christian Ponder always conjures to my mind the image of a pilgrim. You know, the kind with belt buckles on their hats who casually persecute Indians and run around drowning hysterical teenage girls. They’re better known these days as Republicans. You know what doesn’t come to mind when you’re thinking about Minnesota’s Cotton Mather? Touchdown completions.

Fact is that Ponder is just no damn good. In fact, I don’t think there’s ever been a truly successful Puritan quarterback in the NFL. (Kurt Warner doesn’t count because everyone knows he made a deal with Satan to destroy Trent Green’s career.) But I’ll guarantee you this much: That belt-buckling Christian Ponder is a damn sight better than the Blaine Gabbert Project that’s inexplicably still underway in Jacksonville. MJD may be back but the Jags are going to set the standard for awfulloosity this year in the NFL. Eat the points and don’t worry. Minnesota will win this game by a wide margin. Pick: Minnesota.

Feschuk: Wow, I had no idea Minnesota was going to lose this game until you picked them as your inaugural Sure Thing. Makes sense though: Adrian Peterson is rushing back too quickly from yet another major injury and should be good for maybe five or six carries before he blows out his Achilles or falls down a well. Pick: Jacksonville.

September 5, 2012

Our conflicted feelings about athletes “juicing”

Filed under: Football, Health, Science, Sports — Tags: — Nicholas @ 08:13

In a sport that most people don’t care about unless a local player is doing well internationally (competitive cycling, for example), a scandal over performance enhancing drugs is a good opportunity to make noises about the “purity of the sport” and demand major sanctions against those who cheat. However, as Jim Souhan points out at the Star Tribune, we’re rather good at turning a blind eye to the same thing in sports we care more about:

The advent of the NFL season will provide a respite from sports riddled with performance-enhancing drugs, such as baseball and cycling.

If you can read that sentence without laughing, you are one naive fan.

We know many baseball players cheated in the ’90s and early 2000s, and we know some cheat today. For every Melky Cabrera who gets caught there must be dozens, if not hundreds, who are smart enough to avoid testing positive in a system that is easy to beat.

We know cyclists cheat. The evidence is overwhelming. When Lance Armstrong pretended to take a principled stand by abandoning his legal fight to defend himself, he was avoiding facing public testimony by a squadron of former teammates. Now another former teammate, Tyler Hamilton, has written a book in which he details his own, and Armstrong’s, cheating, and other former Armstrong associates are speaking openly about his PED use.

[. . .]

If Armstrong could avoid testing positive for PEDs while winning the Tour de France seven times, what does that tell us about the National Football League, a sport filled with the biggest, strongest, fastest and most explosive athletes in our society?

That’s right: The NFL must be stuffed with performance enhancers.

The difference is that we don’t care.

September 3, 2012

Vikings 53-man roster

Filed under: Football — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 11:15

It’s been tough tracking the last few names on the roster, as the names at the bottom of the depth chart have been subject to changes as other teams’ players hit the waiver wire. At this time, the Vikings still haven’t finalized their practice squad, still having two open spots to fill Just after I posted this, the Vikings added Kevin Murphy (OL) and Ernest Owusu (DL) to their practice squad roster. This is the roster as of Monday morning:

Position Starter(s) Backups Notes
OL Matt Kalil (R), Charlie Johnson, John Sullivan, Brandon Fusco, Phil Loadholt Geoff Schwartz, Joe Berger, Mark Asper DeMarcus Love, injured reserve
QB Christian Ponder Joe Webb, McLeod Bethel-Thompson Sage Rosenfels, waived
TE Kyle Rudolph John Carlson, Rhett Ellison (R), Alan Reisner  
RB Adrian Peterson Toby Gerhart, Matt Asiata  
FB Jerome Felton    
WR Percy Harvin, Jerome Simpson** Michael Jenkins, Stephen Burton, Jarius Wright (R), Devon Aromashodu  
DL Jared Allen, Kevin Williams, Letroy Guion, Brian Robison Everson Griffen, D’Aundre Reed, Christian Ballard, Fred Evans  
LB Erin Henderson, Jasper Brinkley, Chad Greenway Marvin Mitchell, Tyrone McKenzie, Audie Cole (R), Larry Dean  
CB Chris Cook, Antoine Winfield Marcus Sherels, Brandon Burton, Josh Robinson (R), A.J. Jefferson***  
S Harrison Smith (R), Mistral Raymond Jamarca Sanford, Andrew Sendejo, Robert Blanton (R)  
P Chris Kluwe N/A  
K Chris Walsh (R) N/A  
LS Cullen Loeffler N/A  
Practice Squad Jordan Todman (RB), Bobby Felder (CB), Chase Baker (DT), Tyler Holmes (G), Tori Gurley (WR), Chris Summers (WR), Kevin Murphy (OL), Ernest Owusu (DL)    

* Claimed off waivers from Buffalo.
** Suspended for the first three games of the season: doesn’t count against roster until after that.
*** Acquired in trade with Arizona on Saturday.

September 1, 2012

Vikings part with veteran quarterback Sage Rosenfels

Filed under: Football — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 10:52

The cut-down to a 53-man roster is never easy, but the most surprising cut for the Vikings yesterday was the decision to waive Sage Rosenfels (who will receive half a million dollars in compensation, due to the contract he signed before the season began). Most of the other cuts were at least somewhat predictable, based on the last couple of pre-season games. Christopher Gates at the Daily Norseman explains the process of cut-down, the waiver wire, and assembling the practice squad:

Every player that was cut on Friday that is not a “vested veteran” is subject to the waiver process. A “vested veteran” is a player that has accumulated four or more seasons worth of experience in the National Football League. The Vikings released four such players on Friday … cornerback Chris Carr, defensive end Jeff Charleston, safety Eric Frampton, and quarterback Sage Rosenfels. Those four players, due to their status as vested veterans, automatically become unrestricted free agents and can sign with any team they wish immediately. Everyone else that was cut on Friday is subject to the waiver process.

The waiver priority list is still based on records from the 2011 season, and will be until after Week 3 of the regular season. As a result, the Vikings sit third on the waiver priority list, behind only the Indianapolis Colts (who are at #1) and the St. Louis Rams. This basically means that if the Colts want a player, they get him. If the Rams want a player, they get him as long as the Colts don’t claim him as well. The Vikings, as a result, can get any player they want that the Colts or Rams don’t put a claim on.

Waiver claims have to be in by 11 AM Central time on Saturday, at which point we will find out which teams have been awarded which player(s). From there, teams can start building their practice squads.

Dan Weiderer at the Star Tribune has more on the particular moves the Vikings made on Friday, including a trade for an Arizona cornerback:

In all, 20 players were let go. The major surprises were the releases of veteran quarterback Sage Rosenfels and cornerback Chris Carr. Manny Arceneaux was also waived, the only receiver let go.

And late Friday, word surfaced that the Vikings traded with the Arizona Cardinals for third-year cornerback A.J. Jefferson, meaning another cut was imminent.

Rosenfels’ exit will give the Vikings a chance to take a much longer look at rocket- armed 24-year-old quarterback McLeod Bethel-Thompson. Terminating Rosenfels’ vested veteran contract will be expensive — he was guaranteed $500,000 in base salary when he re-signed in March. It also means — at least for now — that the Vikings will have to go without a veteran presence in their quarterback stable, with the trio of Christian Ponder, Joe Webb and Bethel-Thompson having an average age of 25.

I had a table of the final roster prepared, but I think I’ll wait until the waiver wire activity plays out before posting it… players who “made the cut” yesterday may still be waived to make room for someone signed off the waiver wire.

August 26, 2012

Vikings cut 15 players

Filed under: Football — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 08:15

NFL teams have to cut down their numbers to 53 before the start of the regular season. This is done in two stages, after the third preseason game, teams are only allowed to have 75 players on their roster (down from 90 allowed up to that point). The final cut down comes after the last preseason game. At the Star Tribune, Mark Craig has the list of players waived in the first cut:

Here are the players who were released today. Eleven of them are undrafted rookies:

Bridger Buche.............. G...................... R....... Eastern Michigan
Derrick Coleman............ RB..................... R................... UCLA
Grant Cook................. G...................... R............... Arkansas
Solomon Elimimian.......... LB..................... 1................. Hawaii
Corey Gatewood............. DB..................... R............... Stanford
Levi Horn.................. T...................... 2................ Montana
Anthony Jacobs............. DE..................... R.............. Minnesota
Kamar Jorden............... WR..................... R.......... Bowling Green
A.J. Love.................. WR..................... R.......... South Florida
Tyler Nielsen.............. LB..................... R................... Iowa
Ernest Owusu............... DE..................... R............. California
Tydreke Powell............. DT..................... R......... North Carolina
Chris Stroud............... CB..................... R... Webber International
Kerry Taylor............... WR..................... 1.......... Arizona State
Bryan Walters.............. WR..................... 2................ Cornell

Craig says there were “no surprises”, but a few of these players were certainly mentioned multiple times in the press coverage of training camp, especially Elmimian, Taylor, and Walters. This is probably a useful caution not to put too much stock in training camp reports: the reporters have to file stories — preferably interesting stories — so they’re looking for different things than the coaches are.

The final cuts have to be done by Friday night.

August 19, 2012

Minnesota Vikings to play at Wembley?

Filed under: Britain, Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 09:58

Don’t panic, Vikings fans … the team isn’t moving. What is being considered is to allow the Vikings to play a couple of “home” games at Wembley Stadium in England while they await the end of construction on their new stadium:

The NFL and Vikings are both reportedly very keen to make this happen. It makes sense for the Vikings because, with the new stadium construction, they’ll have to play away from their real home for up to two years anyway. A couple home games at Wembley, which seats 86,000 for American football, means two fewer home games at temporary residence TCF Bank Stadium, which after upgrades will still be able to accommodate less than 60,000.

Of course the state-side fans might gripe about losing a couple of home games, but if there’s money to be made elsewhere, the Vikings won’t hesitate to follow it (sorry fans). It seems what we have here is a match made in heaven. The NFL wants to make more inroads in the European market, and the Vikings want to make back some of the revenue they’ll be losing by temporarily moving into a much smaller venue. So it seems inevitable that, for awhile at least, the Vikings will become England’s team.

A side-benefit to this would be that it ensures at least two games will be telecast outside the Vikings’ home region: a matter of great interest to this Toronto-area Viking fan.

August 18, 2012

Vikings win convincingly over Buffalo in second preseason game

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 08:56

Unlike last week’s game at San Francisco, where you had to look carefully at the right angle and squint just a bit to see anything positive, the second preseason game had all kinds of positive signs. Here’s Dan Wiederer at the Star Tribune:

For all those Vikings optimists out there, Friday might well have been the perfect night just 23 days before the start of the regular season.

All those empty seats inside Mall of America Field? Hey, at least the stadium was half-full, right?

And for those who did turn out for a hype-free preseason game against the Buffalo Bills, it’s fair to say most left with a feeling this team’s glass may be half-full, too.

The Vikings not only built a 10-0 lead at the end of the first quarter of what turned out to be a 36-14 victory, but they did so with style, so many young players flashing the signs of promise that the coaching staff has been advertising since training camp began.

Where do we even start? That is, before rookie linebacker Audie Cole became an instant hero with two interception return touchdowns in the final minutes.

Do we begin with receiver Jerome Simpson, who on the game’s fourth play beat rookie Bills cornerback Stephon Gilmore on a short slant, then decided to show off his Olympic-style hurdling skills, leaping over safety Jairus Byrd on his way to a 33-yard pick-up?

Or do you start with Toby Gerhart’s continued power and the 30 yards he rushed for on six attempts?

Or is it easiest to circle back to the obvious command shown by second-year quarterback Christian Ponder, who orchestrated an impressive 80-yard touchdown drive to open the game, then tacked on a 50-yard march on the next possession to set up a Blair Walsh field goal?

August 14, 2012

O’Neill: London outdid Beijing in politicizing the Olympics

Filed under: Britain, China, Sports — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 08:22

Brendan O’Neill says that the London Olympics were far more politicized than the Beijing games in 2008:

From the flurry of fanboy commentary that followed Danny Boyle’s am-dram opening ceremony to the insistence that the Games represented the coming to fruition of the post-Diana dream of a new, less stuffy Britain, the urge to politicise the Games has been intense. That the political classes have sought so shamelessly to usher in ‘another kind of Britain’ on the back of the Games speaks volumes about their desperate need for a new national narrative, and their disillusionment with the democratic route to social overhaul.

Normally we frown upon elites that heap their political obsessions on to mass sporting events. We think of Hitler turning the Berlin Games into an advert for Aryan superiority (a vision shot down by Jesse Owens) or of the Beijing opening ceremony’s thousands of fantastically coordinated drummers and boastful history lesson, described by one British hack last week as ‘crypto-fascist’. And yet, Britain’s ostensibly liberal observers thought nothing of turning 2012 into an advert for their own allegedly superior way of life and thinking.

The tone was set by Labour MP and historian Tristram Hunt, who described Boyle’s opening ceremony as the ‘march past’ — that is, victory parade — of his side in the Culture Wars. The ceremony was proof, said Hunt, that ‘the left took victory in the Culture Wars’, and moreover that a New Britain was being born: if the Queen’s Jubilee celebrated a ‘staid and nostalgic national identity’, this ceremony ‘offered an attractively contradictory, complicated, and above all creative conception of these Isles of Wonder’.

There has since been a concerted effort to turn the ‘bonkers’ opening ceremony into a new national narrative. Somewhat defensively, the Guardian’s Jonathan Freedland insists that it is ‘not just Guardian types’ who are exalting in the new political vision provided by both the ceremony and the multicultural message of the Games that followed — the whole nation is, apparently, recognising that ‘we have glimpsed another kind of Britain’, and that we should ‘love the country we have become — informal, mixed, quirky — rather than the one we used to be… reactionary’.

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