Quotulatiousness

November 3, 2011

Fleming: Obama takes off the gloves, warns of danger if he’s not re-elected

Filed under: Government, Humour, Liberty, USA — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 09:52

Frank J. Fleming reports on the warning President Obama gave during a speech last week:

At a San Francisco fund-raiser last week, President Obama warned the audience that if he’s not re-elected, it will bring a new era of self-reliance in America.

In this dystopian future, people wouldn’t be able to rely on the government to give them health care or college or anything else we now consider a need. That’s just an awful, scary thought these days. Which begs the question: Are we too sissy for freedom anymore?

Not everyone acknowledges how scary true freedom is. Sure, you get to make your own choices, but then government won’t be there to catch you when you fall.

[. . .]

But we’re a different kind of people now. All the federal government did back then was basically keep an eye on Canada and make sure it didn’t invade. Today, more than half of the federal government’s budget is spent on entitlements and safety nets. In fact, a fifth of federal spending is devoted to making sure we have crummy retirement savings that no one can live on.

If the Founding Fathers ever found out about that, they’d probably shoot us with muskets. But the fact is they’re dead, and we’ve decided we have other needs as a people.

Right now, getting rid of any entitlements is unthinkable. If left to our own resources, we’d be too worried about starving to death or not having access to broadband.

November 1, 2011

Beaver versus Polar Bear

Filed under: Cancon, History, Humour — Tags: — Nicholas @ 12:08

Lester Haines conjures up exactly the right image to illustrate the absurdity of the “Canadian national symbol” argument:

A Canadian politician has rather deliciously insisted that vast tracts of his nation were opened by “the relentless pursuit of beaver”, an agreeable concept that for some reason conjures an image of Silvio Berlusconi furiously paddling a kayak through white water rapids in pursuit of a fleeing supermodel.

The description of Canada’s beaver-hunting past comes from New Democratic Party MP Pat Martin, who isn’t too impressed with Ontario senator Nicole Eaton’s proposal to replace the beaver with the polar bear as the country’s national emblem.

Eaton reckons the polar bear, with its “strength, courage, resourcefulness and dignity” is a more appropriate emblem for the 21st century than the “dentally defective rat” that has symbolised the nation since 1975.

While I don’t think the symbol needs to be changed, it might be best if our politicians are busy in this sort of snark hunt rather than inflicting further intrusive regulations and distortions into the economy.

October 23, 2011

What to do when “Tech Support” calls you

Filed under: Humour, Law, Technology — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 11:39

crshbndct recounts the heart-warming story of his recent call from “Tech Support”:

“Good Morning Sir, I am calling to inform you that you have serious issues with your pc and that we can help you fix them”

“Really? I just got it working today (had been having a nightmare of a time with video drivers)”

“Yes, Sir, but do not worry, we can help you to fix this problems”

(Realising its a scam, but willing to play along)

“Oh OK well that’s good. How are you going to do that?”

“Well Sir, Your computer runs a thing called Windows XP, which has many viruses and malware and rootkits and things like this which infect your master root on your CPU and slow it down and causes problems with your computer which can cost a lot to fix. We can help you fix this really cheaply”
“Really cheaply?!?! That sounds fantastic!! How do I do it?”

October 13, 2011

BBC’s Top Gear GPS deal violates BBC’s own rules

Filed under: Britain, Bureaucracy, Humour, Media — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 09:04

Due to editorial rules, a Top Gear-branded GPS using Jeremy Clarkson’s voice will be withdrawn:

The BBC’s commercial arm, BBC Worldwide, will now will now donate all proceeds from the sales to Children In Need to bypass rules that prevent the show’s presenters endorsing motoring products.

The Top Gear satnav features Clarkson giving instructions in typically sardonic style — amusing for Top Gear fans, no doubt, but it may begin to grate on the 100th journey.

“Keep left — if you’re not sure which side left is you really shouldn’t be on the road,” he tells drivers.

“After 700 yards, assuming this car can make it that far, you have reached your destination, with the aid of 32 satellites and me — well done.”

The corporation’s commercial arm, BBC Worldwide, said no more of the Top Gear satnavs, made by TomTom, would be produced.

A plan to allow existing TomTom owners to download Clarkson’s voice to update their models has now been dropped.

Given how many people have complained about the default voices provided with their GPS units, I can see why adding Jeremy Clarkson’s dulcet tones to the mix could hardly have made the situation any worse.

October 9, 2011

Rick Mercer on the War of 1812 Bicentennial

Filed under: Cancon, History, Humour — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 13:58

ReasonTV: Remy’s Occupy Wall Street Protest Song

Filed under: Economics, Humour, USA — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 11:52

September 30, 2011

The Guild, S5E10

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 08:20

<a href='http://www.bing.com/videos/browse?mkt=en-us&#038;vid=y05t9u0n&#038;from=us-Video' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 10 - Strategy Timez' >Video: Season 5 &#8211; Episode 10 &#8211; Strategy Timez</a>

September 29, 2011

“The euro isn’t just a failed currency, but a language unto itself”

Filed under: Bureaucracy, Economics, Europe, Humour — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 09:01

Jonathan Weil provides a sampling of Euro terms and their real-world meanings:

It’s bad enough for average Americans that most European leaders speak English with heavy accents. What’s worse, even when we can make out the words they utter, it’s almost always impossible to figure out what these officials are really saying. That’s because they’re speaking in Euro-ese.

Fortunately, there is an answer to their endless riddles: a Euro-to-English dictionary, excerpts of which I have included below. To truly see the meaning of the seismic events rapidly reshaping Europe, you must know what the following 10 Euro terms of art mean in plain American English:

1. Finance ministry: A house of worship where government leaders go to pray for bailouts, economic miracles, panaceas and other forms of divine intervention.

How to use in a sentence: Officials at the Greek Finance Ministry said they remain hopeful the country will receive its next batch of rescue loans in time to avoid a cataclysmic default.

2. Coordinated: Chaotic, unfocused, brain-dead, paralyzed to the point of nonexistence; even in its best moments resembling a hopeless klutz.

Example: Finance ministers from the Group of 20 nations last week said they were “committed to a strong and coordinated international response to address the renewed challenges facing the global economy.”

September 23, 2011

Gary Johnson on the “job creation” idea

Filed under: Economics, Humour, Politics, USA — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 00:42

The Guild S5E9

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 00:06

<a href='http://video.msn.com?vid=6cbea512-0d90-43df-adab-b7b083f4702c&#038;mkt=en-us&#038;src=FLPl:embed::uuids' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 9 - Invite Accepted' >Video: Season 5 &#8211; Episode 9 &#8211; Invite Accepted</a>

September 17, 2011

Decoding book review language

Filed under: Books, Humour, Media — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 11:17

Have you ever bought a book on the recommendation of a book review, then found it didn’t match up to your expectations? Here is a useful guide to what the reviewer is actually saying:

“absorbing”: “makes a great coaster” @DonLinn Don Linn, publishing consultant

“accessible”: “not too many big words” @MarkKohut Mark Kohut, writer and consultant

“acclaimed”: “poorly selling” @BloomsburyPress Peter Ginna, publisher, Bloomsbury Press

“breakout book”: “Hail Mary pass” @BookFlack Larry Hughes, associate director of publicity, the Free Press at Simon & Schuster

“brilliantly defies categorization”: “even the author has no clue what he’s turned in” @james_meader James Meader, publicity director of Picador USA

“captures the times we live in”: “captures the times we were living in two years ago” @mathitak Mark Athitakis, critic

“classroom-friendly”: “kids won’t read it unless they have to” @LindaWonder, Linda White, book promoter at Wonder Communications

September 16, 2011

The Guild S5E8 – Social Traumas

Filed under: Gaming, Humour, Media — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 00:03

<a href='http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/season-5-episode-8-social-traumas/y02ha7t9?from=us-Entertainment&#038;src=v5:embed::' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 8 - Social Traumas'>Video: Season 5 &#8211; Episode 8 &#8211; Social Traumas</a>

September 13, 2011

QotD: Responding to the “Climate Reality Project”

Today begins the 72-hour observance of the Climate Reality Project’s “24 hours of reality” info-event on the so-called “climate crisis” on Facebook and Twitter. I know, I know. Why call it “24 hours of reality” when you’re going to spend 72 hours doing it? Because SHUT UP YOU DENIALIST NAZI SYMPATHIZER!

I’m not on Twitter, but let me share what I’ve communicated to my friends on Facebook:

If ANYONE allows that fat bastard access to their Facebook account in order to spam me with their “THE SKY IS FALLING AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, WINGNUTZ” crap; not only will I de-friend you and refuse to speak to your dumb ass strictly out of principle, I solemnly vow that I will mail a LIVE OPOSSUM to your house in a big box full of styrofoam peanuts.

LIVE. OPOSSUM.

Please don’t test me. I’m serious here. Much like me, live opossums don’t care about fake science. They’re more interested in breaking stuff and having panicked bowel movements on the top shelf of your china hutch.

“Russ from Winterset”, “My Response to ‘The Climate Reality Project'”, Ace of Spades H.Q., 2011-09-13

September 10, 2011

NFL quote of the day

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 10:55

At the Daily Norseman, Eric J. Thompson puts the awful situation for both Ohio NFL teams in perfect perspective:

BROWNS over Bengals: Can we just have Ohio State replace one of these two teams already? Or would the Buckeyes’ salary put them over the cap?

I’m not a great prognosticator (I’m already 0-1 on the season — the Saints let me down against the hated Packers), so you can take these picks for exactly what they’re worth (i.e., very little):

  • Atlanta – @Chicago Sun 1:00pm
  • @Cleveland – Cincinnati Sun 1:00pm
  • @Kansas City – Buffalo Sun 1:00pm
  • Philadelphia – @St. Louis Sun 1:00pm
  • @Tampa Bay – Detroit Sun 1:00pm
  • @Jacksonville – Tennessee Sun 1:00pm
  • @Baltimore – Pittsburgh Sun 1:00pm
  • @Houston – Indianapolis Sun 1:00pm
  • @Arizona – Carolina Sun 4:15pm
  • @San Diego – Minnesota Sun 4:15pm
  • @San Francisco – Seattle Sun 4:15pm
  • New York (NYG) – @Washington Sun 4:15pm
  • @New York (NYJ) – Dallas Sun 8:20pm
  • New England – @Miami Mon 7:00pm
  • @Denver – Oakland – Mon 10:15pm

Favourites listed first, home team marked with “@”.

September 9, 2011

The Guild S5E7 – Downturn

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:02

<a href='http://video.msn.com?vid=b9d69b75-6b41-47ed-ae9a-dd4c0fc812c9&#038;mkt=en-us&#038;src=FLPl:embed::uuids' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 7 - Downturn' >Video: Season 5 &#8211; Episode 7 &#8211; Downturn</a>

Delayed from yesterday as there was some problem with the embed.

« Newer PostsOlder Posts »

Powered by WordPress