Quotulatiousness

August 20, 2010

A different (but not completely wrong) way to view Europe in 1914

Filed under: Britain, Europe, Germany, History, Humour, Russia, WW1 — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 21:33

Jon, my former virtual landlord, sent me this link while I was on vacation (and generally unable to stay connected to the internet for more than minutes at a time). If you’ve already seen this, my apologies for being late:

The First World War, explained as a pub fight…

    Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria’s pint.

    Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

    Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view

    Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

    Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria’s trousers.

    Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

    Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

    Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

    Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

As Jon pointed out, the key comment is “And when Germany wakes up, it goes out to its car, gets the gun out of the glovebox and heads back inside…”

August 17, 2010

The Guild, Season 4 Episode 5

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 08:09

<br /><a href="http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/season-4-episode-5-loot-envy/y01mg1da?fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Season 4 - Episode 5 - Loot Envy">Video: Season 4 &#8211; Episode 5 &#8211; Loot Envy</a>

August 14, 2010

Business jargon got you down? Unsuck-it!

Filed under: Bureaucracy, Humour, Randomness — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 00:07

I’ve been known to print off Business Bingo cards for the inevitable business meeting jargon-fest, so I wholly support the notion behind Unsuck-it:

H/T to Xeni Jardin for the link.

August 13, 2010

Raise your kid in the Rand-approved manner

Filed under: Books, Economics, Humour, Media — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 09:10

Eric Hague would like to assure you that today’s little contretemps was inevitable:

I’d like to start by saying that I don’t get into belligerent shouting matches at the playground very often. The Tot Lot, by its very nature, can be an extremely volatile place — a veritable powder keg of different and sometimes contradictory parenting styles — and this fact alone is usually enough to keep everyone, parents and tots alike, acting as courteous and deferential as possible. The argument we had earlier today didn’t need to happen, and I want you to know, above all else, that I’m deeply sorry that things got so wildly, publicly out of hand.

Now let me explain why your son was wrong.

When little Aiden toddled up our daughter Johanna and asked to play with her Elmo ball, he was, admittedly, very sweet and polite. I think his exact words were, “Have a ball, peas [sic]?” And I’m sure you were very proud of him for using his manners.

To be sure, I was equally proud when Johanna yelled, “No! Looter!” right in his looter face, and then only marginally less proud when she sort of shoved him.

H/T to The Tiger who said “The shove was uncalled for . . . but I’m otherwise with the girl.”

Maybe I should try to find a copy of Eric’s “illustrated, unabridged edition of Atlas Shrugged“. It sounds like great bedtime reading for the kiddies, “glossing over all the hardcore sex parts”.

August 11, 2010

QotD: Treating politicians correctly

Filed under: Government, Humour, Politics, Quotations — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 14:02

First off, every Congressman should be treated like a known member of the Mafia — we know the person is a criminal and we just don’t have the evidence yet though we’ll be working on it. Every Congressmen should have FBI agents assigned to tail him and report on everything he is doing. Everything a Congressman does and says should be recorded and made publicly available as well. As a trade-off to being some idiot spending trillions of our dollars, you have absolutely no expectation of privacy while in office. If you can’t deal, don’t be in Congress. And because these people create the laws, it should apply even more so to them. If they are ever convicted of anything, they automatically should get their sentence doubled.

Right now Congress gets this idea they are better than us when really they’re just idiots who meddle in things while other people actually do all the useful work in this country. It’s time we treated them like lesser people with less rights and more suspicion. Then maybe they’ll know their place.

Frank J. Fleming, “We Need to Treat Congress More Like Crooks”, IMAO, 2010-08-11

iPhone girls are easy

Filed under: Humour, Media, Technology — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 07:47

Colby Cosh links to a dating website that actually provides useful photography information:

oh, also — iPhone users have more sex.

File this under “icebreakers, MacWorld ’11”. Finally, statistical proof that iPhone users aren’t just getting fucked by Apple:

The chart pretty much speaks for itself; I’ll just say that the numbers for all three brands are for 30 year-olds, so it’s not a matter of older, more experienced people preferring one phone to another. We found this data as part of our general camera-efficacy analysis: we crossed all kinds of user behaviors with the camera models and found we had data on the number of sexual partners for 9,785 people with smart phones.

Okay, I’ve posted the funny bit. The rest of the article actually does have useful photography tips, especially if you’re a user of dating websites.

August 10, 2010

The Guild Season 4, Episode 4

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 07:25

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&#038;fg=MsnEntertainment_joseph_player&#038;vid=b6bdd68e-c989-4b96-a9c2-a30069e27ba3" target="_new" title="Season 4 - Episode 4 - Moving On">Video: Season 4 &#8211; Episode 4 &#8211; Moving On</a>

August 9, 2010

I’ll have to remember to use this in future

Filed under: Cancon, Humour — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 16:50

As reported by Chris Taylor, Paul Jané coined exactly the right moniker to hang around Air Canada’s scrawny corporate neck:

Mapleflot

(more…)

August 4, 2010

QotD: Keyshawn keeps his priorities straight

Filed under: Football, Humour, Media, Quotations — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 17:30

For as much as the network has made fun of Favre over the last couple of years for his decision to keep playing, when he speaks — or texts — people listen, and ESPN became “All Favre All the Time” Tuesday. From 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., almost every minute of coverage was devoted to Favre and, considering that ESPN employs just about as many NFL people as the league itself, it had a variety of people to draw from.

Steve Young thought he would play three or four more years. Mike Golic said the Vikings are a borderline playoff team without Favre and not a Super Bowl contender. Trent Dilfer was “shocked.” Andy Reid said, “I’ve been asked that question once or twice.” Antonio Freeman said he won’t believe it until Sept. 9 when the Vikings play and Favre isn’t there. Mike Ditka said, “He’s a 40-year old 17-year old.” Jon Gruden said he is “one of the toughest human beings to ever walk the planet.” Keyshawn Johnson talked about himself.

John Holler, “With Favre, everyone has an opinion”, Viking Update, 2010-08-04

August 3, 2010

Badminton, as described by professional sports announcer

Filed under: Humour, Media, Sports — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:44

H/T to Mark Frauenfelder for the link.

The Guild Season 4 Episode 3

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 12:11

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&#038;fg=MsnEntertainment_joseph_player&#038;vid=8b02bc4f-0dc6-4a75-9317-80fe7809e59c" target="_new" title="Season 4 - Episode 3 - Oversupportive'd">Video: Season 4 &#8211; Episode 3 &#8211; Oversupportive&#8217;d</a>

July 29, 2010

Other things that (some) economists discover unexpectedly

Filed under: Economics, Government, Humour — Tags: — Nicholas @ 08:43

Terry Kinder rounds up a few more things that economists find surprising:

Other Things That Surprise Economists (other than the economy sucks):

  • Sunrise
  • Sunset
  • Lifetime Television has a lot of chick flicks
  • Milli Vanilli were lip syncing
  • Summer
  • Politicians lie
  • Gravity
  • Christmas
  • Their own shadows
  • Sneezing
  • Near beer isn’t
  • Knock knock jokes

. . . and a whole lot more.

To be fair, Terry is really poking fun at only some economists, but the 90% that work for the government are giving the rest of them a bad name.

July 27, 2010

Short form: he’s treating them like civilians

Filed under: Cancon, Humour, Law — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 14:16

In the elevators of my clients’ office building, there are video displays with short news items, stock market performance, weather, and (of course) ads. The short form of this story was something like:

Top RCMP officers claim boss is verbally abusive, close-minded, arrogant and insulting

My immediate reaction was “so he’s acting like a cop dealing with a group of citizens?”

Four weeks in Canadian history

Filed under: Cancon, Humour — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 07:59

Scott Feschuk has been out of the country for a while. He’s delighted to find that something actually happened in Canada while he was away, and provides a useful summary for those of us not paying attention:

I’ve been away from Canada for four of the past five weeks, and it’s always fun to return and see what’s been missed. A comprehensive review:

1. The dominant domestic news story of the past month hinges on the intricacies of statistical analysis.

2. Finally demonstrating a populist touch, Michael Ignatieff has started production on his own Speed sequel: If his party’s popularity in opinion polls falls below 25 per cent, the Liberal Express explodes! (Subplot: If the bus keeps stopping for Timbits, the occupants of the Liberal Express explode!)

3. Conrad Black has apparently tunneled out of prison and escaped.

4. Upon being informed of No. 3, David Radler has soiled himself.*

* Not reported, but a safe assumption.

Don’t ever change, Canada.

The Guild goes Bollywood

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 07:34

<a href="http://www.bing.com/videos/browse?mkt=en-us&#038;from=&#038;vid=8cb424dc-cbdb-40be-90c5-8fb450462d2f&#038;from=en-us" target="_new" title="Season 4 - Music Video - &quot;Game On&quot;">Video: Season 4 &#8211; Music Video &#8211; &quot;Game On&quot;</a>

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