Humour « Quotulatiousness

August 11, 2010

iPhone girls are easy

Filed under: Humour, Media, Technology — Tags: Apple, iPhone, Photography, Smartphones, Women — Nicholas @ 07:47

Colby Cosh links to a dating website that actually provides useful photography information:

oh, also — iPhone users have more sex.

File this under “icebreakers, MacWorld ’11”. Finally, statistical proof that iPhone users aren’t just getting fucked by Apple:

The chart pretty much speaks for itself; I’ll just say that the numbers for all three brands are for 30 year-olds, so it’s not a matter of older, more experienced people preferring one phone to another. We found this data as part of our general camera-efficacy analysis: we crossed all kinds of user behaviors with the camera models and found we had data on the number of sexual partners for 9,785 people with smart phones.

Okay, I’ve posted the funny bit. The rest of the article actually does have useful photography tips, especially if you’re a user of dating websites.

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August 10, 2010

The Guild Season 4, Episode 4

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: FeliciaDay, MMORPG, TheGuild, WilWheaton — Nicholas @ 07:25

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August 9, 2010

I’ll have to remember to use this in future

Filed under: Cancon, Humour — Tags: Advertising, PR, SovietUnion, Travel — Nicholas @ 16:50

As reported by Chris Taylor, Paul Jané coined exactly the right moniker to hang around Air Canada’s scrawny corporate neck:

Mapleflot

(more…)

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August 4, 2010

QotD: Keyshawn keeps his priorities straight

Filed under: Football, Humour, Media, Quotations — Tags: BrettFavre, Ego, MinnesotaVikings, NFL — Nicholas @ 17:30

For as much as the network has made fun of Favre over the last couple of years for his decision to keep playing, when he speaks — or texts — people listen, and ESPN became “All Favre All the Time” Tuesday. From 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., almost every minute of coverage was devoted to Favre and, considering that ESPN employs just about as many NFL people as the league itself, it had a variety of people to draw from.

Steve Young thought he would play three or four more years. Mike Golic said the Vikings are a borderline playoff team without Favre and not a Super Bowl contender. Trent Dilfer was “shocked.” Andy Reid said, “I’ve been asked that question once or twice.” Antonio Freeman said he won’t believe it until Sept. 9 when the Vikings play and Favre isn’t there. Mike Ditka said, “He’s a 40-year old 17-year old.” Jon Gruden said he is “one of the toughest human beings to ever walk the planet.” Keyshawn Johnson talked about himself.

John Holler, “With Favre, everyone has an opinion”, Viking Update, 2010-08-04

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August 3, 2010

Badminton, as described by professional sports announcer

Filed under: Humour, Media, Sports — Tags: Badminton, Children, Olympics — Nicholas @ 12:44

H/T to Mark Frauenfelder for the link.

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The Guild Season 4 Episode 3

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: MMORPG, TheGuild — Nicholas @ 12:11

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July 29, 2010

Other things that (some) economists discover unexpectedly

Filed under: Economics, Government, Humour — Tags: Fail — Nicholas @ 08:43

Terry Kinder rounds up a few more things that economists find surprising:

Other Things That Surprise Economists (other than the economy sucks):

Sunrise

Sunset

Lifetime Television has a lot of chick flicks

Milli Vanilli were lip syncing

Summer

Politicians lie

Gravity

Christmas

Their own shadows

Sneezing

Near beer isn’t

Knock knock jokes

. . . and a whole lot more.

To be fair, Terry is really poking fun at only some economists, but the 90% that work for the government are giving the rest of them a bad name.

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July 27, 2010

Short form: he’s treating them like civilians

Filed under: Cancon, Humour, Law — Tags: Police, RCMP — Nicholas @ 14:16

In the elevators of my clients’ office building, there are video displays with short news items, stock market performance, weather, and (of course) ads. The short form of this story was something like:

Top RCMP officers claim boss is verbally abusive, close-minded, arrogant and insulting

My immediate reaction was “so he’s acting like a cop dealing with a group of citizens?”

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Four weeks in Canadian history

Filed under: Cancon, Humour — Tags: ConradBlack, MichaelIgnatieff, Statistics — Nicholas @ 07:59

Scott Feschuk has been out of the country for a while. He’s delighted to find that something actually happened in Canada while he was away, and provides a useful summary for those of us not paying attention:

I’ve been away from Canada for four of the past five weeks, and it’s always fun to return and see what’s been missed. A comprehensive review:

1. The dominant domestic news story of the past month hinges on the intricacies of statistical analysis.

2. Finally demonstrating a populist touch, Michael Ignatieff has started production on his own Speed sequel: If his party’s popularity in opinion polls falls below 25 per cent, the Liberal Express explodes! (Subplot: If the bus keeps stopping for Timbits, the occupants of the Liberal Express explode!)

3. Conrad Black has apparently tunneled out of prison and escaped.

4. Upon being informed of No. 3, David Radler has soiled himself.*

* Not reported, but a safe assumption.

Don’t ever change, Canada.

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The Guild goes Bollywood

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: MMORPG, Music, TheGuild — Nicholas @ 07:34

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July 26, 2010

Verily, it is to LOL, forsooth!

Filed under: History, Humour — Tags: Blogging, Language, Movies, Shakespeare, Theatre — Nicholas @ 18:30

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July 25, 2010

QotD: Writing

Filed under: Humour, Quotations, Technology — Tags: Blogging, Facebook, Shakespeare, Writing — Nicholas @ 16:30

Writing is a slow and a difficult process mentally. How you physically render the words onto a screen or a page doesn’t help you. I’ll give you this example. When words had to be carved into stone, with a chisel, you got the Ten Commandments. When the quill pen had been invented and you had to chase a goose around the yard and sharpen the pen and boil some ink and so on, you got Shakespeare. When the fountain pen came along, you got Henry James. When the typewriter came along, you got Jack Kerouac. And now that we have the computer, we have Facebook. Are you seeing a trend here?

P.J. O’Rourke, “P.J. O’Rourke: ‘Very Little That Gets Blogged Is Of Very Much Worth'”, John Brown’s Notes and Essays, 2010-07-23

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July 22, 2010

Cultivating a taste for parody

Filed under: Books, Humour, Media — Tags: Criticism, HLMencken, Parody, Poetry — Nicholas @ 12:36

The Economist reviews The Oxford Book of Parodies by John Gross:

Writing a parody is hard. In the 1940s, a competition in the New Statesman invited readers to parody Graham Greene. Greene himself entered under a pseudonym and only came second. Get it right, though, and you have a withering form of criticism and an immortal entertainment rolled into one. John Gross’s new anthology of parodies in English (with a few foreign titbits) has samples both high and low of this diverse genre.

[. . .]

Any well-known poem or character is fair game. A.A. Milne’s Christopher Robin is revisited as an ailing pensioner who has retired to Spain (“He peers through a pair of bifocals;/He talks quite a lot to a bear that he’s got/Who is known as El Pu to the locals.”) Ezra Pound wrote a wintry variation on “Sumer is icumen in” (“…skiddeth bus and sloppeth us…”) But why limit oneself to a single writer? Portmanteau parodies let writers do two voices at once, thus “Chaucer” rewrites Sir John Betjeman (“A Mayde ther was, y-clept Joan Hunter Dunn…”) and “Dylan Thomas” redoes “Pride and Prejudice” (“It is night in the smug snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug household of Mr and Mrs Dai Bennet and their simpering daughters — five breast-bobbing man-hungry titivators, innocent as ice-cream, panting for balls and matrimony.”)

[. . .]

Documents, philosophies and schools of thought can be good fodder, too. H.L. Mencken did a “Declaration of Independence in American” (“When things get so balled up that the people of a country got to cut loose from some other country, and go it on their own hook, without asking no permission from nobody, excepting maybe God Almighty, then they ought to let everybody know why they done it, so that everybody can see they are not trying to put nothing over on nobody . . .”)

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July 20, 2010

The Guild S4 Ep.2

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: MMORPG, TheGuild — Nicholas @ 07:24

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July 15, 2010

Pleated-Jeans identifies the modern Maslow’s hierarchy

Filed under: Humour, Science, Technology — Tags: Internet, Psychology — Nicholas @ 12:09

Pleated-Jeans has done the heavy lifting to pull the old, outdated Maslow diagram into the 21st century:

H/T to Michael O’Connor Clarke who advises “Caution: may cause psych majors to eject hot coffee through nasal passages.”

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