Quotulatiousness

November 5, 2010

Banned from visiting Afghanistan due to weight

Filed under: Asia, Britain, Humour, Politics — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 10:07

John Turner sent me this link, which could be said to point out fitness requirements for lawmakers:

Britain’s defence ministry says two lawmakers from Northern Ireland have been barred from visiting troops in Afghanistan until they can find flak jackets big enough to fit their bellies.

The ministry says Ken Maginnis and David Simpson were scheduled to fly to Kabul this week, but army-issued body armour doesn’t exceed 49 inches (124.5 centimetres), too snug for both.

A ministry spokesman said Thursday the British army offers “a wide range of sizes but, regrettably, none was suitable on this occasion.”

Alternatively, you could just roll ’em up in kevlar carpets, or something . . .

November 4, 2010

Something I’m adding to my Christmas list

Filed under: Books, Humour, Liberty, Media, Politics — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 07:40

H.L. Mencken was a literary giant in the 1920s and into the 1930s, but fell from the pinnacle of popularity as the Great Depression hit. His consistent opposition to FDR and the New Deal moved him further and further away from the limelight, and his outspoken opposition to the war rendered him all but unpublishable from 1941 until his death. A large collection of his shorter works from 1914 through 1927 were published in Prejudices, running to six volumes.

The books are back in print, in two large volumes, through Library of America. An excerpt from the New York Review of Books just starts to get interesting before the cut-off for non-subscribers:

The material that H.L. Mencken published in a series of six volumes under the title Prejudices was a collection of his journalism written between 1914 and the late 1920s. Most of it, he told a good friend on publication of the first volume in 1919, was “light stuff” with an occasional “blast from the lower woodwind” that would “outrage the umbilicari, if that is the way to spell it.” Such books, he added, were “mere stinkpots, heaved occasionally to keep the animals perturbed.”

Most of the pieces in the first volume — or “series,” as it was called — had originally appeared in The Smart Set, the magazine he had edited since 1914, but they also included articles published in newspapers, as well as material written especially for the book. A painstaking editor of his own work, Mencken also did a good bit of rewriting; stinkpot or not, this was not to be a quick harum-scarum hustling of secondhand goods but a high-quality piece of prose from a master.

Its commercial success surprised him as well as his friend and publisher, Alfred Knopf, who seemed to realize for the first time that Mencken had a promising future, or, as he expressed it to his author, “that H.L. Mencken has become a good property.” The book was quickly followed by Prejudices: Series Two, Series Three, and so on to a final Series Six in 1927, by which time Mencken had developed from a good property into the most exciting literary figure in the country.

H/T to Mark at Unambiguously Ambidexterous for the link.

October 27, 2010

Jeff Lewis – “Date”

Filed under: Humour — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 12:18

October 23, 2010

Happy Creation Day, Earth!

Filed under: History, Humour, Religion — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 10:55

Chris Myrick linked to the relevant Wikipedia entry to mark the 6013th “birthday” of the Earth.

[James] Ussher [Anglican Archbishop of Armagh] deduced that the first day of creation began at nightfall preceding Sunday, October 23, 4004 BC, in the proleptic Julian calendar, near the autumnal equinox. [. . .] Ussher’s proposed date of 4004 BC differed somewhat from other Biblically based estimates, such as those of Bede (3952 BC), Ussher’s near-contemporary Scaliger (3949 BC), Johannes Kepler (3992 BC) or Sir Isaac Newton (c. 4000 BC). Ussher’s specific choice of starting year may have been influenced by the then-widely-held belief that the Earth’s potential duration was 6,000 years (4,000 before the birth of Christ and 2,000 after), corresponding to the six days of Creation, on the grounds that “one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day” (2 Peter 3:8).

October 22, 2010

Allen Patterson tells the real Caramel Pie story

Filed under: Food, Humour, USA — Nicholas @ 13:07

In a possibly vain attempt to get ahead of the urban legend generation/amplification/distortion cycle, Allen Patterson tells the original Caramel Pie story:

This is the definitive version of The Caramel Pie Story, a tale that has been spreading throughout north Mississippi (and beyond) for at least 35 years. It is time to get it online before the variant versions take hold and are accepted as truth.

People have told this story so many times that some Mississippians now claim to have been there when they weren’t. Combine those folks with the number of people who claim that they saw the aftermath and, well, there’s not room for that many people on an ocean liner.

The story involves a caramel pie, my family, the LaMastus family (neighbors), a remodeled kitchen, and some ducks.

Don’t forget about the ducks.

Stephen Fry on language

Filed under: Education, Humour, Quotations — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 08:50

October 21, 2010

Aha! I knew there had to be a way!

Filed under: Bureaucracy, Humour, Technology — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:54

Tech Support
Click image to see the whole strip.

October 20, 2010

Some combination tools work well … and then there’s this one

Filed under: Humour, Randomness, Tools, Woodworking — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 13:05

Christopher Schwarz gives in to the urge to try out a new tool that combines the rasp and the chisel in one not-so-easy-to-handle package:

Now usually when I see a tool like this I just ignore it. Boneheaded ideas like this usually end up in a mass grave with the bones of dodo birds, passenger pigeons and AMC Pacer automobiles. But a couple weeks ago I stumbled on a set of these tools for sale — new — on Amazon.

These tools must be stopped. So I bought a set of three to take a look. They are as bad as I feared.

The tools are incredibly heavy. The rasp teeth are coarse and not very aggressive. They manage to make more of a farting sound than any scratches in the wood. Of course, it doesn’t help things that you have to use the rasp one-handed — grabbing the chisel tip is ill-advised.

Or is it? The chisel edge is as sharp as Lennie from “Of Mice and Men.” And when you do pound the chisel into a piece of wood (thank you Mongo the Mallet) the tool stops dead after 1″ because the rasp teeth dig into your work.

And the worst thing of all? They are branded as Nicholson — the once-great rasp maker.

But if this tool can succeed in the marketplace for 10 years, what other opportunities are toolmakers missing out on?

October 19, 2010

Got a transmedia “strategy”?

Filed under: Humour, Media, Technology — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 07:29

They’re all the rage these days. If you don’t have one, you can get a custom-crafted, up-to-the-microsecond strategy outlined for you at whatthefuckismytransmediastrategy.com, like this one:

As you can see, it makes at least as much sense as “real” strategies sometimes do.

H/T to Warren Ellis for the link.

October 15, 2010

The Two Scotts both pick Minnesota over Dallas

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 12:28

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Feschuk-Reid affair without some light banter:

Dallas (plus 1.5) at Minnesota

Reid: I’ve always thought that when a girl plays hard to get, it’s time to start sending her up-close photos of your bait and tackle. On the field, Favre may be guided by pure instinct but off the field he appears to be a careful thinker. Shrewd strategies designed to achieve maximum impact. That’s what I take away from this entire Deadspin affair. And like Wade Phillips, I look forward to seeing how Tony Romo blows this game in the fourth quarter. Pick: Minnesota.

[. . .]

Feschuk: Favre got nailed in the bag with a pigskin during practice this week, and that’s not even a euphemism. Clearly, the football gods are taking rare pleasure in delivering the gunslinger’s comeuppance. The video of Favre taking one in the tenders was funny enough on its own, but even funnier in this treatment by the folks at Kissing Suzy Kolber.

Pick: Minnesota.

An alternate interpretation of the video was from Mark Craig who suggested that it was “NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell (not pictured) visited Winter Park today to deliver his punishment to the future Hall of Fame quarterback.”

October 14, 2010

Little Bobby Tables must speak Swedish

Filed under: Europe, Humour, Politics, Technology — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 13:19

By way of Bruce Schneier an opportunity to show another xkcd comic:

Exploits of a Mom

So, what’s the Swedish tie-in?

As you may have heard, we’ve had a very close election here in Sweden. Today the Swedish Election Authority published the hand written votes. While scanning through them I happened to notice

R;13;Hallands län;80;Halmstad;01;Halmstads västra valkrets;0904;Söndrum 4;pwn DROP TABLE VALJ;1

The second to last field is the actual text on the ballot. Could it be that Little Bobby Tables is all grown up and has migrated to Sweden? Well, it’s probably just a joke but even so it brings questions since an SQL-injection on election data would be very serious.

Old stereotypes still thrive in niche ecologies

Filed under: Humour, Randomness — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 07:49

An exchange that wouldn’t have been at all surprising in, say, 1950:

"Jo,
As much as I appreciate your reply, I think this manuscript is perahps [sic] too heavy for you.
Don't get me wrong, I am not remeaning [sic] your professionalism, it's just VERY profound and maybe too much for a female to edit.
A delicate mind I do not want editing this.
Best regards,
Etc"

Jo Caird called on deep reserves of patience to respond:

"Dear Etc,
Thanks for your prompt reply.
Thanks too for your candid (not to mention eloquently expressed - although I believe the word you were looking for was 'demeaning', not 'remeaning') appraisal of my intellectual and professional capabilities. It's reassuring to me, as a 'female' (again, I believe you mean 'woman') of delicate sensibilities and feeble judgement, to know that considerate gentlemen such as yourself exist to protect me from that which I lack the depth of character to understand.
As to how you've assessed that I am too weak-minded to work on, or even indeed to read, your manuscript, given that we have never met, or even spoken on the phone, I can only speculate. I wish you, in any case, all the best with it.
Have a lovely weekend.
Kind regards,
Jo"

H/T to Tim Harford for the link.

October 13, 2010

“I just taught them a new game . . .”

Filed under: Humour, Media — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 00:28

H/T to Martina for the link.

October 12, 2010

Female characters in modern fiction

Filed under: Books, Humour, Media — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 13:13

The Female Character Flowchart looks at “the one- and two-dimensional female characters we see over and over again in modern fiction.”


Click image to see full size flowchart

H/T to Royce McDaniels for the link.

Mitch Miller, drawing upon years of “men are simple/women are complicated” media memes, responded:

Wow! That’s a lot of female characters, considering that there’s only five male characters:

The Good Guy
The Bad Guy
The Good Bad Guy
The Bad Good Guy
and
The Sidekick

Terry Pratchett’s I Shall Wear Midnight

Filed under: Books, Humour, Media — Tags: — Nicholas @ 12:18

I’m being self-sacrificing, having sent my copy off with Victor when he went back to campus yesterday, so this review by Cory Doctorow just highlights what I’ll get to read in a couple of week’s time:

Terry Pratchett’s newly released I Shall Wear Midnight is the fourth volume in the Tiffany Aching books, about a young girl born to be the witch of a chalky, sheep-farming area called, simply, The Chalk (the other three volumes being Wee Free Men, Hatful of Sky and Wintersmith). Tiffany’s old gran was the “Wise Woman” of the hills, and her gifts came down to Tiffany, who, at the age of 7 or 8, began to need them — first to rescue the Baron’s son when he was kidnapped by the Queen of Faerie (Tiffany hit her with an iron frying pan) and then to learn proper magic while apprenticed to a real witch, and finally to kiss the Wintersmith during a morris dance, and then have to set the seasons to right.

In Midnight, Tiffany returns. Now she’s 16, and she has assumed all the burdens of being The Chalk’s witch — and they are burdensome — delivering the babies, salving the wounds, clipping the neglected old ladies’ toenails, changing the bandages, and using magic to take away the pain of the Baron, who is dying.

As if being thrust into an early maturity wasn’t enough, witchery has fallen into disrepute on The Chalk — and seemingly everywhere. There are old ladies being crushed and drowned by mobs, there are the whispers and the forked fingers to fight the evil eye when Tiffany passes, and then, when the Baron dies while Tiffany eases him into the next world, there is the wildfire rumor that Tiffany killed him.

This series is a wonderful read for both children and adults: Pratchett’s sense of humour and his touch of magical-but-real provide a great read for both audiences. Highly recommended, especially if you haven’t already become a fan of his main Discworld series.

« Newer PostsOlder Posts »

Powered by WordPress