James Delingpole tries to draw up a list of the next most likely place for David Cameron’s military adventure:
China
Pros: on the verge of taking over the world and enslaving us all; mines evil rare earth minerals in environmentally unfriendly fashion which Sam Cam, like, totally, like hates, even though it’s OK really because they go towards the wind farms which make Daddy nearly £1000 a day on his estates; a big, juicy target that would impress David Cameron’s Notting Hill friends way more than poxy Libya.
Cons: We’d lose
[. . .]
France
Pros: Would be hugely popular with the home crowd and guarantee re-election in 2015
Cons: Victory would depend, crucially, on whose turn it is to use the aircraft carrier.
[. . .]
The USA
Pros: Would send a clear signal to Guardianistas that Britain is not going to be “America’s poodle”; might well result in a sexy-sexy congratulatory tete a tete with Christine Lagarde; would make the Lib Dem element of the Coalition feel more at home than ever.
Cons: Our record of beating America in wars is not good. Then again, with a President as lame-duck as Obama in charge this could yet be our best hope.
