Quotulatiousness

September 19, 2018

The wisdom of Zim Tzu, post-tie edition

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 05:00

After each Minnesota Vikings game, head coach Mike Zimmer holds a press conference to discuss the details of the game and answer questions from the local and national press. Coach Zimmer is renowned for his plain-speaking, but this is actually a fantastically clever smokescreen — using what appear to be plain, ordinary, everyday words to encrypt his true meaning. This would normally leave the press and the fans lacking in wisdom and knowledge, but fortunately The Daily Norseman has an ace up their collective sleeve: they’ve got Ted Glover, 9th dan Black Belt in Zimmerology, to decrypt the essential truth and present it to us, the unwashed masses.

The Vikings warrior poet coach dispenses his words of wisdom

When a warrior poet heads out on the field of battle, he expects to win. But even the best of them fail, and come up short. When that happens, you retire, lick your wounds, and come out the next time, hungrier and more determined to win than ever.

But a stalemate…no one really expects those. A stalemate makes you feel like it was all for nothing. There was no glory in victory, there were no heroic last stands to the last man, no desperate, last ditch gambles that resulted in final victory that will cause other warrior poets to reverently speak of your deeds for all time. But there is some value in a stalemate, although it’s hard to understand at the time. You know you could have won, but you also realize you could have just as easily lost. Lessons are learned, plans are improved, and if you need to sacrifice someone to send a message, then by God that’s just what you’ll do.

Because you are Zim Tzu, The King In The North, Nightmare of Clan Fromage, Breaker Of Gold Fever, High Septon Of Eagan, Lord Commander Of The Iron Range And Twin Cities, Master Of Fortress TCO, Honorary Elder Of Mankato and Protector Of The Realm.

And when the Great Unwashed want to hear about how you won’t tolerate another stalemate, we swoop in as an intermediary* between you and them. We take what’s actually said, digest it,** then share the true meaning to the masses.***

* We should never be asked to be the go between for anyone over any dispute. Everyone would end up pissed, shots would be fired, and blood would probably be spilled.

** We do nothing of the sort. We completely make all of this up. Well, Zimmer actual press conference quotes are real. Nothing else is. Also you’re living in The Matrix.

*** There is about as much true meaning to this as there is in the image of Jesus in a piece of toast. With butter.

Belgian Uniforms Of World War 1 I THE GREAT WAR Special

Filed under: Europe, History, Military, WW1 — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 04:00

The Great War
Published on 17 Sep 2018

Visit the IJser Museum: http://www.museumaandeijzer.be/ijzert…

Indy talks to Peter Verplancke from the Museum at the former Yser front about the Belgian uniforms and their evolution during the war.

The Byzantine Empire should really be called the “Medieval Roman Empire”

Filed under: Europe, History, Middle East — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 03:00

Sean Gabb makes the case for the least well-known part of the Roman world that outlasted the western empire by a thousand years:

Properly considered, the history of what I will from now call not the Byzantine Empire, but the Mediaeval Roman Empire, is perhaps the most astonishing instance of how courage and determination can keep civilisation alive in the face of the most forbidding and apparently overpowering challenges. In setting out my argument, I hope you will forgive me if I begin with an introduction covering much that many of your will know at least as well as I do, but that may not be so familiar to those reading the text or watching the speech on YouTube.

If you look at the first of the maps that I have put on your tables, you will see the Roman Empire as it was in the year 395 AD. This shows the Empire at something close it its greatest extent. The conquests that Trajan made to the north of the Danube and east of the Euphrates have been given up. But it includes the whole of the Mediterranean World and its various hinterlands – an area stretching from the North of England to Upper Egypt, from Casablanca to Trebizond. In that year, however, nearly a century of political experiments is formally ended with the division of the Empire into two administrative zones. There is the Western or the red Empire, ruled by an Emperor in Rome or Milan or Ravenna. There is the Eastern or the purple Empire, ruled by an Emperor in Constantinople.

If you look at the second map, dated roughly 650 AD, you will see that the Western Empire has disappeared. Excepting North Africa and parts of Italy, now ruled from Constantinople, the whole of the Western Empire has disappeared – replaced by a set of barbarian kingdoms from which modern Europe takes its origin. The Eastern Empire itself has lost both Syria and Egypt to the Arabs.

If you look at the third map, dated roughly 867 AD, you will see that the Empire has suffered the further loss of Cyprus and North Africa and most of Sicily. Nevertheless, what we have in that year should undeniably be called the Mediaeval Roman Empire. It has weathered the storm of the Early Middle Ages. It is the richest and most powerful state in the Mediterranean World. Indeed, during the next few centuries, it will expand. It has already reconquered Greece. It will conquer the Bulgarian Kingdom and re-establish its ancient frontier on the Danube. It will even retake Antioch and make Egypt for a while its economic and diplomatic client.

After 1071, the Empire falls on evil days. In that year, the Turks deprive it of its Anatolian heartland. But this loss is stabilised and in part reversed by a skilful handling of the Crusades. There is another disaster in 1204, when the Venetians take and plunder Constantinople. But this is not the end. The Empire is restored in large parts in 1261; and, even if as little more than a city-state based around Constantinople, it continues to the final Turkish conquest of 1453. Indeed, the formal extinction of the Empire comes nearly a decade after 1453, with the annexation of its last territories in Southern Greece.

There was a time when school textbooks in England dated the fall of the Roman Empire to 476 AD. Its continued survival for a thousand years after then had to be explained, where admitted, by taking a contemptuous view of what was called the Byzantine Empire. See, for example, W.E.H. Lecky:

    Of that Byzantine empire, the universal verdict of history is that it constitutes, without a single exception, the most thoroughly base and despicable form that civilization has yet assumed. There has been no other enduring civilization so absolutely destitute of all forms and elements of greatness, and none to which the epithet “mean” may be so emphatically applied… The history of the empire is a monotonous story of the intrigues of priests, eunuchs, and women, of poisonings, of conspiracies, of uniform ingratitude.

Lecky is one of my favourite historians. But, if you look even at the mediaeval Greek and Italian historians of the Empire, you will see that this is a bizarre judgement. Undoubtedly, these historians tended to focus on intrigues in and about the Imperial Palace. But they also record much else. They record the story of a rich and powerful empire, directed with high military and diplomatic ability – an empire in which slavery and the death penalty have been almost abolished, where people lived, and knew that they lived, under a set of divinely-ordained laws that protected life, liberty and property to a degree unknown in any other mediaeval state.

Shop Work: How to build a French Cleat Lumber Rack

Filed under: Tools, Woodworking — Tags: — Nicholas @ 02:00

Fisher’s Shop
Published on 7 Aug 2017

Please consider sharing this video with your friends, it helps out the channel more than you think! Thanks!

In this video I address my lumber storage problem. I made a french cleat lumber storage rack system out of construction-grade wood. Is it strong enough? Or does it all collapse in a hilarious, yet destructive, wooden tidal wave of doom?

QotD: The “generations” of jet fighters

Filed under: History, Military, Quotations, Russia, Technology, USA — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 01:00

American warplanes like the F-22 and F-35 are often called “5th generation” fighters. This leaves many wondering what the other generations were and what the next one will be. The generation reference is all because of jet fighters, and the first generation was developed during and right after World War II (German Me-262, British Meteor, U.S. F-80, and Russian MiG-15). These aircraft were, even by the standards of the time, difficult to fly and unreliable (especially the engines). The 2nd generation (1950s) included more reliable but still dangerous to operate aircraft like the F-104 and MiG-21. The 3rd generation (1960s) included F-4 and MiG-23. The 4th generation (1970s) included F-16 and MiG-29. Each generation has been about twice as expensive (on average, in constant dollars) as the previous one. But each generation is also about twice as safe to fly and cheaper to operate. Naturally, each generation is more than twice as effective as the previous one. Increasingly it looks like the 6th generation will come without pilots. That’s because producing fifth generation fighters has proved difficult as well as very expensive. So far only the United States has managed to get 5th gen fighters (F-22 and F-35) into service. The Russians are still trying as are the Chinese, even though one of their stealth fighter designs (J-20) is technically in service (even though production has been suspended after less than a dozen were produced).

The Russians have said they will keep working on their 5th generation Su-57, although some of the derivatives of their Su-27 are at least generation 4.5. One of the reasons the Soviet Union collapsed was the realization that they could not afford to develop 5th generation warplanes to stay competitive with America. The Russians had a lot of interesting stuff on the drawing board and in development but the bankruptcy of most of their military aviation industry during the 1990s left them scrambling to put it back together ever since. At the moment the Russians are thinking of making a run for the 6th generation warplanes, which will likely be unmanned and largely robotic. As of 2018 they don’t have much choice because their answer to the F-22, work on the Su-57 was canceled (“indefinitely paused”.)

“Murphy’s Law: The Impossible 5th Generation”, Strategy Page, 2018-08-20.

Powered by WordPress