Quotulatiousness

September 21, 2016

Vikings lose their starting running back and starting left tackle to injury

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 15:09

2016 is becoming more and more of a soap opera every week for the Minnesota Vikings. Before the regular season even started, we lost starting quarterback Teddy Bridgewater for the season on a freak non-contact injury. In the second half of last week’s game against the Packers, running back Adrian Peterson went down with a knee injury. Today, we learned that Peterson needs surgery and up to four months recovery time, oh and get this: the team also announced that starting left tackle Matt Kalil is also being placed on injured reserve. Let’s be honest here … there’s a limit to how far this “next man up” philosophy will carry a team.

Of course, the Vikings fan base has been through this before, so they’re handling it with dignity and aplomb:

Last year’s right tackle, T.J. Clemmings, will replace Kalil and we’ll probably see the (rather successful) running back committee of Jerick McKinnon and Matt Asiata filling in for Peterson. Heretical personal opinion: through both of the games this year, I’ve actually been happier seeing Asiata in the backfield than Peterson: Asiata isn’t a 100-yards-per-game back, but he’s much better at blocking and receiving than Peterson and was no less effective running the ball.

Both Kalil and Peterson are very highly paid at their respective positions, and it’s possible that neither player will be with the team next year: Kalil is on the fifth and final year of his rookie contract for $11 million and Peterson will be owed $18 million next year unless he opts to renegotiate his contract. Kalil’s best year was his rookie season and Peterson had not gotten back into regular season form before his injury … in other words, the Vikings were not getting value for their investment on either of these players so far this year. Defenders were still honouring the threat of a Peterson break-out run by regularly stacking the box (which has benefitted Stefon Diggs in the passing game), but even that was likely to fade if Peterson didn’t demonstrate that he was still capable of his patented dagger runs.

But, y’know, everything’s fine in Vikingland.

This is fine

Update: On a much lighter note, here’s Ted Glover at the Daily Norseman with your weekly dose of Zim Tzu from Monday’s press conference:

If there’s one thing you can’t stand as a warrior/poet, it’s whining. You don’t tolerate it on your team, but you have to put up with it with other teams, because you have no control over their day to day activities. Now mind you, if you did, the whining would stop, immediately and forever.

Even if it is part of their DNA. Because you can manipulate DNA to suit your needs. Why?

Because you are Zim Tzu: High Septon Of Mankato, Eviscerator of Titans, Maître Fromager, and Warden Of The North.

Yet, when you cause other teams to wail and moan, along with their fan base as your team delivers the coup de grâce on national television, that’s music to your ears. It’s a song you want to keep singing all year long. You want to rub it in, and show your fans that you relish the victory as much as they do…only you can’t use the words drunken Vikings do while at the podium.

And this is where we come in, the professional* site that is The Daily Norseman. We take the profanity laden inner thoughts of Mike Zimmer** and bring them to life in a way that gives clarity to confusion, food to the starving, and water to the thirsty.***

*That word professional. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

**I have no idea what Mike Zimmer’s inner thoughts are. And I really don’t want to know what his inner thoughts are on this, if he even knows of the existence of Zim Tzu. Which I am sure he doesn’t. Because I’d hate for him to chew my ass over this…which admittedly, I’d probably deserve.

***LOLNOPE not even a little bit close.

As always, we take highlights of Mike Zimmer’s weekly Monday press conference, and break it down in ways that we can all understand.* As always, his actual quotes are first, and our 100% accurate** and literal translations*** immediately follow.

*There is nothing to understand. Unless you’re trying to learn the English language using this article. If so, I implore you to use a different source of reading material. Implore means I pretty please beg.

**And by accurate I mean 100% made up with no insight on anything whatsoever.

***And by literal translation I still mean completely, 100% made up.

Pathological altruism

Filed under: Business, Law, USA — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 03:00

Amy Alkon on the mainspring of some (possibly many) altruistic actions:

I write about this sort of thing in Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck. It’s called “pathological altruism,” and describes deeds intended to help that actually hurt — sometimes both the helper and the person they’re trying to help:

    [Dr. Barbara] Oakley notes that we are especially blind to the ill effects of over- giving when whatever we’re doing allows us to feel particularly good, virtuous, and benevolent. To keep from harming ourselves or others when we’re supposed to be helping, Oakley emphasizes the importance of checking our motives when we believe we’re doing good. “People don’t realize how narcissistic a lot of ‘helping’ can be,” she told me. “It’s all too easy for empathy and good deeds to really be about our self-image or making ourselves happy or comfortable.”

One example of this is The New York Times series on nail salons — intended to help the workers but actually keeping a number of them from being able to get work…work they were able to get before the crackdowns the NYT piece led to. From Reason‘s Jim Epstein:

    Salon owners have also stopped hiring unlicensed workers, whether they’re undocumented or not. By law, every manicurist working in New York State must complete 250 hours of training at a beauty school, which costs about $1,000, and then obtain a government-issued license. This is a barrier to entry, and some aspiring manicurists can’t afford the time or tuition. There are some salon owners in the industry who, up until recently, were willing to hire them anyway because they were desperate for employees and the state rarely checked. Cuomo’s task force changed that.

    Kim sponsored a state law, passed in July, that attempted to remedy the situation. The bill made it legal for nail salons to hire workers as apprentices receiving on-the-job training. After a year, they’re eligible for a state license without attending beauty school.

    Few are utilizing the apprenticeship program. “It needs tweaking,” Kim admits. Despite assurances to the contrary from state officials, Kim says he’s hearing on the ground that when signing up for the program, applicants are being asked their citizenship status, which is scaring off many would-be apprentices.

    Licensed workers legally working in the U.S. have also been hurt by the inspections. “Workers themselves prefer to be paid in cash, and it’s not just at nail salons,” says Kim. Salon owners have started recording every dollar that passes through their shops to avoid getting fined. The inspection task force has had “unintended consequences,” he says.

    The biggest victims, however, are people like Jing Ren, the main character in the Times series. Ren, 20, is undocumented, penniless, and “recently arrived from China.” Instead of paying $1,000 for salon school, she signed on as a trainee at a shop in Long Island. By the end of the article, she’s making $65 per day in base wages.

    When weaving its cartoonish tale of evil bosses and oppressed workers, the Times never considers what would happen if all of the nail salons willing to hire Jing Ren disappeared. Would future immigrants like her be better or worse off?

Oops.

Gracchus the Elder – Prequel: In His Footsteps – Extra History

Filed under: Europe, History — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 02:00

Published on 10 Sep 2016

Special thanks to Mike Duncan for writing this episode! Check out his History of Rome podcast: http://thehistoryofrome.typepad.com/
Before Tiberius and Gracchus got famous, their father led such a break-out political career that it must have seemed impossible to live up to his legacy. Yet, his success set the stage for their falls…
____________

Tiberius Gracchus the Elder has been overshadowed by his sons, but in his lifetime he had the most successful political career imaginable. Born just as the Second Punic War came to a close, he arrived on the political stage just in time to befriend the Scipio family during the Seleucid War. He secured a route of safe passage for their soldiers which led them to catch and defeat King Antiochus. The Scipios planted themselves in the east, dealing with the spoils of war and enriching themselves in the process. Upon their return to Rome, they were charged with corruption for accepting bribes, but Tiberius Gracchus the Elder had just been elected tribune of the plebs, and he voted their trial entirely. Scipio Africanus rewarded him by giving him the hand of Cornelia, his daughter and an amazing woman in her own right. Tiberius Gracchus went on the be elected aedile, and threw such lavish public games that the Senate passed a law restricting future games. It worked for him, though: he won his next election and became a praetor assigned to nearer Spain, where he launched a fierce and successful military campaign buffered by a land redistribution effort. In that way, he solved the underlying problems of poverty among the Celtiberians and secured peace for 25 years. For his success, he received a triumph and was elected consul, two of the highest honors in Roman politics. But here he played a dangerous game. Already allied with the Scipiones, he served as consul alongside their family’s biggest rival: a Claudius. He won the game and formed a relationship that would later provide his sons with important allies. Next he went to Sardinia to protect against rebellious tribes, and again he succeeded. The Gracchi name was now honored in both Spain and Sardinia, a legacy his sons would rely upon. This won him a second triumph and a role as censor, after which he joined a traveling embassy of senators to assess Rome’s client kingdoms. Tiberius Gracchus used this opportunity to forge friendships with foreign kings, like the King of Pergamum who would one day form a key part of Tiberius’s efforts to redistribute land. Finally, he won a second consulship, but here he made the mistake of screwing over a man whose son would one day lead the assault that killed Tiberius in the forum. At the end of his days, Tiberius Gracchus the Elder wasn’t just a prominent senator, but one of the most powerful men in Rome. It was the duty of a son to surpass the fame of his father, which must have seemed impossible… but Tiberius and Gracchus, building on the legacy he left, did exactly that.

P.S. If you’ve read this far, we think it’s only fair we tell you that Mike Duncan is aware the proper Latin name for the Scipio family is “Scipiones” but he allowed us to shorten it to “Scipios” to make it easier for non-Latin speakers to understand. Cheers!

QotD: The worries of the Baby Boomers versus the worries of the Greatest Generation

Filed under: Health, Humour, Quotations, USA — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 01:00

… I am conceding that by the standards of today, my parents’ behavior would be considered irresponsible. Actually, “irresponsible” is not a strong enough word. By the standards of today, my parents and their friends were crazy. A great many activities they considered to be perfectly OK — hitchhiking; or driving without seat belts; or letting a child go trick-or-treating without a watchful parent hovering within 8 feet, ready to pounce if the child is given a potentially lethal item such as an apple; or engaging in any form of recreation more strenuous than belching without wearing a helmet — are now considered to be insanely dangerous. By the standards of today, the main purpose of human life is to eliminate all risk so that human life will last as long as humanly possible, no matter how tedious it gets.

And the list of things we’re not supposed to do anymore gets longer all the time. I recently encountered an article headlined:

IS YOUR HANDSHAKE AS DANGEROUS AS SMOKING?

The answer, in case you are a complete idiot, is: Of course your handshake is as dangerous as smoking. The article explains that handshakes transmit germs, which cause diseases such as MERS. MERS stands for “Middle East Respiratory Syndrome,” a fatal disease that may have originated in camels. This is yet another argument, as if we needed one, against shaking hands with camels. But the article suggests that we should consider not shaking hands with anybody.

If you could travel back in time to one of my parents’ parties and interrupt the singing to announce to the guests that shaking hands could transmit germs and therefore they should stop doing it, they would laugh so hard they’d drop their cigarettes into their drinks. They were just not as into worrying as we are today.

And it wasn’t just cigarettes and alcohol they didn’t worry about. They also didn’t worry that there might be harmful chemicals in the water that they drank right from the tap. They didn’t worry that if they threw their trash into the wrong receptacle, they were killing baby polar bears and hastening the extinction of the human race. They didn’t worry about consuming trans fats, gluten, fructose, and all the other food components now considered so dangerous they could be used to rob a bank (“Give him the money! He’s got gluten!”).

Dave Barry, “The Greatest (Party) Generation”, Wall Street Journal, 2015-02-26.

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