Quotulatiousness

April 27, 2010

Tech-clueless in Toronto

Filed under: Humour, Technology — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 11:08

I received the following rant from a reader who is experiencing some, um, technical challenges in his job. Not technical challenges for himself: boss and co-worker foundering under the foaming, rushing waters of technology:

They are going to drive me absolutely insane.

Did you know … that you can select the program with which to open a file by right-clicking on the file and selecting Open With…?

DID YOU KNOW THAT?!

That is the MOST AMAZING THING EVER, according to the oldsters. These guys could not figure out how to open a text file that has an extension other than .TXT. I showed them the Open With… twiddlebit, and now Head Oldster is busy adding the procedure to our internal style guide.

Gobsmacked with heartbroken outrage, I said “Dude. Anyone who has used Windows for any amount of time will know that. You don’t have to put it into our style guide.”

To which he responded: “I have been doing this for 20 years, and this is the first time I’ve heard of this. So it should be documented.”

I don’t know how much longer I can work here.

And to top if off, BOTH OF THEM are constantly getting calls from headhunters and former employers who want them back as contractors. How is that possible? Head Oldster can generally get through the day, but The New Guy — Judas on a Vespa with Cheese and Peppers. Watching him navigate through FrameMaker is like watching Stephen Hawking type out A Brief History of Time character-by-character with his eyeballs, minus the genius part of it.

The guy struggles to find the SAME FUNCTIONS THAT HE USES EVERY DAY in the menus. How can he possibly beswamped with job offers? IS THE ECONOMY DOING THAT WELL?

Crickey.

I have to admit, reading this rant made me feel better about my own work . . .

Almost right

Filed under: Europe, Humour, Media, USA — Tags: , , , , , — Nicholas @ 09:43

Kathy Shaidle linked to this map at Spleenville, showing an approximation of how Europeans (and implicitly the rest of the world) view the United States:


(Click map to see original image)

[. . .] As a matter of fact, from what I’ve garnered from across the pond, the rest of the world thinks the USA consists of one large metropolis — Newyorkangeles — with a sunny beach where only blond, tanned, perfectly-toned twenty-something models are allowed to go, and the rest of it is a desert wasteland full of racist white cowboys who wear big hats and shoot their guns in the air.

You forgot the teeth: Europeans all seem to believe that Americans all have identical “Hollywood” smiles. Oh, except for the gun-toting racist yahoos, who only have a few teeth each.

That lost iPhone prototype

Filed under: Humour, Technology — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 07:48

As re-interpreted by Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert:

Two questions I am often asked:
1. How far in advance do you work?
2. How quickly can you publish a comic on a current event?

Today I will indirectly answer both questions by talking about something else entirely. I assume you’ve all been following the story of the Apple engineer who left a prototype 4G iPhone at a beer garden. I found this story too delicious to resist, but I worried that the story would become stale before my comics would work through the pipeline. I think the soonest I can get something published is in about a month, perhaps a bit sooner, but I’ve never tested it.

I drew two comics while considering my options. In the end, I thought it wasn’t worth the extra friction to push them to the front of the line. And it would be June 18th before they ran in their normal position, which seemed too far in the future. So here now, exclusively for you blog readers, the totally unfinished first drafts of those comics. You will never see these in newspapers.

April 26, 2010

Maxime Bernier: Harper’s successor?

Filed under: Cancon, Economics, Politics — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 17:32

Okay, so Andrew Coyne doesn’t quite go so far as to say that Bernier is the next leader of the Conservative party, but he certainly makes a case for Bernier speaking for an under-represented viewpoint in that party — actual conservatives, even (whisper it) “libertarians”:

Let’s just pause for a moment to consider what an extraordinary thing Maxime Bernier is attempting. The former minister in the Harper government is widely said to be preparing the ground for a future leadership bid. How has he been going about it? Since January, Bernier has been methodically laying explosives beneath the government and detonating them at regular intervals, in speeches and writings that, while not overtly criticizing Conservative policy, point in precisely the opposite direction to that on which the government happens to be embarked.

[. . .]

I cannot think of a precedent for this performance. Bernier is careful not to attack the party’s current leadership — just everything they’ve been doing. Yet he could hardly be accused of heresy. He represents, to paraphrase Howard Dean, the Conservative wing of the Conservative party — the party’s soul, its core beliefs, varnished as they may be under layers of expediency, yet still there. Indeed, so contorted has the Conservative party become that many people insist he is merely giving voice to what the leader himself believes.

[. . .]

Indeed, as a libertarian conservative from Quebec, he may find he has more supporters in the West. I don’t suggest he will be leader, or should. His record in cabinet was decidedly mixed: a fine industry minister, he was a disaster at Foreign Affairs. Though the speeches are thoughtful, it remains unclear whether there is a man of substance behind them, not least after the Couillard fiasco. Yet his willingness to state brave truths openly, to call the party back to its authentic self, marks him as one to watch.

I’ve often asked folks what substantive difference there is between the current Conservative government and the previous Liberal government. Other than the colour of the party signs, there’s not much actual “conservative” governing going on.

P.J. O’Rourke definitely wasn’t an “A” student

Filed under: Education, Government, Humour, Politics, USA — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 09:11

At least, based on his apparent contempt for “A” students:

America has made the mistake of letting the A student run things. It was A students who briefly took over the business world during the period of derivatives, credit swaps, and collateralized debt obligations. We’re still reeling from the effects. This is why good businessmen have always adhered to the maxim: “A students work for B students.” Or, as a businessman friend of mine put it, “B students work for C students — A students teach.”

It was a bunch of A students at the Defense Department who planned the syllabus for the Iraq war, and to hell with what happened to the Iraqi Class of ’03 after they’d graduated from Shock and Awe.

The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15 we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.

Now there’s health care reform — just the kind of thing that would earn an A on a term paper from that twerp of a grad student who teaches Econ 101.

Why are A students so hateful? I’m sure up at Harvard, over at the New York Times, and inside the White House they think we just envy their smarts. Maybe we are resentful clods gawking with bitter incomprehension at the intellectual magnificence of our betters. If so, why are our betters spending so much time nervously insisting that they’re smarter than Sarah Palin and the Tea Party movement? They are. You can look it up (if you have a fancy education the way our betters do and know what the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary is). “Smart” has its root in the Old English word for being a pain. The adjective has eight other principal definitions ranging from “brisk” to “fashionable” to “neat.” Only two definitions indicate cleverness — smart as in “clever in talk” and smart as in “clever in looking after one’s own interests.” Don’t get smart with me.

Whole piece here.

McAfee’s tech problem resolved: image problem will take much longer

Filed under: Technology — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 08:43

After the technical disaster of an anti-virus company releasing an update that shut down many of their customers’ computers, McAfee now has to cope with the public relations disaster:

After dealing with McAfee’s most recent fix that sabotaged Windows XP PC clients worldwide, users of the antivirus software headed over to Twitter to vent their rage, creating a public-relations and legal nightmare that will likely continue long after the last machine is patched.

“I hate McAfee,” more than one Tweeter wrote, summing up the frustration felt when a McAfee update identified a “normal Windows process” as malware and killed it, kicking off a death spiral for the affected machines.

Another Tweet: “McAfee DAT 5958, you’ve made…no wait, what’s the opposite of “made my day”?… you’ve DESTROYED MY DAY. hate you McAfee. HAAATEEEEE.”

“VirusScan,” another person Tweeted. “The cure is worse than the disease.”

I was fortunate, as fellow blogger William P. alerted me to the issue and I got home and turned off McAfee automatic updating before my desktop machine loaded the poison update.

April 24, 2010

Draft aftermath

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 22:55

I’m neither happy nor unhappy with the results of the 2010 NFL draft, because (as I’ve said before) I don’t follow college football. I trust that the Vikings’ drafting team had their homework done, had their depth charts properly prepared, and got the best value one could reasonably hope for in a crapshoot like the NFL draft. The last few years have been very good, from a draft perspective, so I’m willing to believe that the same folks who managed to do so well in recent drafts did a similar job this time.

For those, like me, who didn’t tune in to watch the draft live, here are the Vikings’ draft choices for this year:

  • 2nd Round (34th pick overall, from trade with Detroit): Chris Cook, Cornerback, Virginia. With starting cornerbacks Antoine Winfield and Cedric Griffin both suffering serious injuries last season, more depth at cornerback was an obvious need. Cook may not have been the player the Vikings originally hoped to draft, but he’ll be a welcome addition to one of the top defences in the NFC (more info from Judd Zulgad here).
  • 2nd Round (51st pick, from trade with Houston): Toby Gerhart, Running Back, Stanford. The loss of backup running back Chester Taylor to division rival Chicago clearly motivated this pick. Gerhart will have the opportunity to replace Taylor as Adrian Peterson’s reliever and change-of-pace back (more info from Mark Craig here).
  • 4th Round (100th pick): Everson Griffen, DE, USC. “Gives Vikings depth on left side, especially if Ray Edwards leaves as free agent following the 2010 season. Griffen has the ability but most prove he has the maturity to play at the NFL level. ” (Judd Zulgad)
  • 5th Round (161st pick): Chris DeGeare, OL, Wake Forest. Viking Update says he “started all 12 games at left tackle in 2009. He led the offensive line in knockdown blocks three times and graded out at better than 90 percent in games against Miami and Florida State. DeGeare was a Freshman All-America during his rookie season in 2005 and was also a member of the ACC All-Freshman team by the Sporting News“.
  • 5th Round (167th pick): Nate Triplett, LB, Minnesota. “One of the few former walk-ons to receive an invitation to this year’s combine, Nate Triplett’s career as a Gopher slowly built until he was given the chance to start every game as a senior. He took full advantage, making 105 tackles, five for loss, two interceptions and five pass breakups” (Scout.com).
  • 6th Round (199th pick): Joe Webb, QB, UAB. Will probably be converted to WR. Sports Illustrated said: “Webb has been productive on the college level at a variety of positions for Alabama Birmingham. During the Senior Bowl he made a seamless transition back to receiver and looks like a natural at the position. Still rough around the edges, Webb must improve his route running and increase his speed, but he has all the skills to be a fourth wide out for an NFL team.”
  • 7th Round (214th pick): Mickey Shuler, TE, Penn State. “Gives Vikings depth at this position and could be eventual replacement for veteran Jim Kleinsasser. First, however, he has to make the roster. Might spend year on practice squad. ” (Judd Zulgad)
  • 7th Round (237th pick): Ryan D’Imperio, LB, Rutgers. Will probably be converted to FB. Sports Illustrated said: “D’Imperio is a two-down run defending linebacker best playing downhill. He possesses marginal upside for the next level but has a special teams mentality and can back up on the inside in a 3-4 alignment.”

After the end of the formal draft, the Vikings signed several free agents:

  • QB R.J. Archer, William & Mary
  • OG Thomas Austin, Clemson
  • OT Matt Hanson, Midwestern State
  • C Tommy Hernandez, UC-Davis
  • WR Aaron Rhea, Stephen F. Austin
  • SS Terrell Skinner, Maryland
  • WR Ray Small, Ohio State
  • WR Kelton Tindal, Newberry
  • CB Angelo Williams, Ferris State
  • OT Marlon Winn, Texas Tech

These guys may not end up sticking with the team, but there’s usually one or two of the free agent signings who make a strong showing through training camp and into the pre-season. I have no idea if any of them will make the regular season roster, but here’s hoping, guys.

April 23, 2010

QotD: Seeing the justice system through different eyes

Filed under: Cancon, Law, Quotations — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 12:59

By revealing how a city employee seemed to spend virtually all his time following her in a city truck, she has directed much-needed attention to city’s supervisory practices.

That’s in addition to highlighting, by explaining what it is like to be stalked, the nature of — and remedy for — a crime that can be devastating in its psychological effects, even if nothing worse happens.

De Blois, 40, who works at Youth Court, told The Gazette’s Katherine Wilton that at first she thought she could handle the situation herself. But in the months before the stalker, 49-year-old André Martel, was arrested, De Blois said she felt terrorized. She lost 23 pounds and had trouble sleeping.

Even after Martel pleaded guilty to criminal harassment and was conditionally released on bail, he continued to follow De Blois, she says. The lawyer suddenly saw the justice system through different eyes. “I can’t imagine what it must be like for a regular person who is not a lawyer, who doesn’t have contacts with a police officer or a crown prosecutor,” she said.

“Why were taxpayers subsidizing a stalker?”, Montreal Gazette, 2010-04-23

Vikings trade draft picks with Detroit Lions

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 10:17

As I noted in an update to yesterday’s post, the Vikings traded away their first-round pick to the Detroit Lions, who chose a running back with that selection. The source I was using for the update information didn’t completely clarify what the details of the trade were, so I mistakenly assumed that Detroit had given up more than they really did:

The Vikings’ quarterback of the future was sitting right there for the taking as the clock wound down to the 30th pick in the first round of Thursday night’s NFL draft.

Jimmy Clausen nearly had fallen out of the first round and now the Vikings had the opportunity to fulfill what had been predicted in so many mock drafts.

Only in real life, the Vikings didn’t pull the trigger.

Instead, they dealt their first-round pick to NFC North rival Detroit, along with a fourth-round selection (128th overall), for the Lions’ second- (34th overall), fourth- (100th overall) and seventh-round picks (214th overall).

With the Vikings’ first-rounder, the Lions took California running back Jahvid Best.

What little I’d heard about Clausen made me apprehensive that the Vikings might be bringing in a player who would not be a good fit, so I thought the trade made good sense. I thought that they might have drafted Tim Tebow, but he was already off the board by the time the Vikings selection came up.

Of course, with the 2nd pick in the 2nd round, the Vikings can be relatively certain that the Rams won’t pick another quarterback, having taken Sam Bradford with the 1st pick . . . but they could trade that pick to someone who does want to draft Clausen. We’ll find out tonight, I guess.

Update: Jim Souhan also thinks Clausen would be a bad fit for the team:

The Vikings were right to trade their first-round draft pick.

They were right to avoid Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen, a bratty kid who would have been a lousy fit in the Vikings’ veteran, professional lockerroom.

They were lucky they weren’t forced to consider Tim Tebow, who will be one of the great draft busts in NFL history.

They were right to abide by an NFL truism, that picks at the end of the first round aren’t much different than picks in the second round.

Senator McCain’s latest assault on “due process”

Filed under: Law, Liberty, USA — Tags: , , , , , — Nicholas @ 10:02

Whenever I think badly of President Obama (which is a pretty regular event), I have to remind myself that his main opponent in the 2008 US presidential campaign would have been even worse on civil liberties:

Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) has introduced a bill that would allow the President to imprison an unlimited number of American citizens (as well as foreigners) indefinitely without trial. Known as The Enemy Belligerent Interrogation, Detention, and Prosecution Act of 2010, or S. 3081, the bill authorizes the President to deny a detainee a trial by jury simply by designating that person an “enemy belligerent.”

Even better, should someone manage to be released, the notion of “return to the battlefield” apparently includes exercising your freedom of speech:

[T]he U.S. military has officially classified many former Guantanamo detainees, such as England’s Tipton Three, as having “returned to the battlefield” for merely granting an interview for the movie The Road to Guantanamo. Another five innocent Uighur (Ethnic Turkish Muslims from China) detainees had been listed as having “returned to the battlefield” after their release because their lawyer had written an op-ed protesting their prolonged detention without trial after they had been mistakenly picked up by a greedy bounty hunter. Writing an opinion or speaking an opinion against the party in power in Washington can — and already has — made some people “enemy belligerents.”

So, thank goodness Senator McCain didn’t become president, even if it means putting up with Barack Obama for at least four years . . .

When old folkies get bitter and vindictive

Filed under: Cancon, History, Media — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 08:42

An interviewer for the Los Angeles Times found Joni Mitchell in a mood to settle some old scores with fellow 60’s icons:

The Times interviewer referred to Old Nasal Voice in passing, citing his name-change from Robert Zimmerman to Bob Dylan. (Mitchell also abandoned her birth name, Roberta Joan Anderson.) Mitchell launched into an unprovoked assault. “We are like night and day, he and I,” she scoffed. “Bob is not authentic at all. He’s a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake. Everything about Bob is a deception.”

Cowed, the interviewer moved on to safer topics — such as Prince (apparently a Mitchell fan) and sex appeal. Yet Mitchell still had time to slag off Grace Slick and Janis Joplin (allegedly they were “[sleeping with] their whole bands and falling down drunk”), and Madonna. Railing against the “stupid, destructive” era we live in, Mitchell took aim at the Material Girl. “Americans have decided to be stupid and shallow since 1980. Madonna is like Nero; she marks the turning point.”

It wasn’t all piss and vinegar. Mitchell fondly recalled Hendrix, “the sweetest guy”, and late-night listening sessions together. But even this memory is shaded in frustration. “He made his reputation by setting his guitar on fire, but that eventually became repugnant to him,” she recalled. “‘I can’t stand to do that anymore,’ he said, ‘but they’ve come to expect it. I’d like to just stand still like Miles.'”

April 22, 2010

The iPad is “the ultimate Steve Jobs device”

Filed under: Media, Technology — Tags: , , , , , — Nicholas @ 15:05

I’m still quite happy with my iPhone, although I’ll pay attention when the next annual hardware refresh is released. I don’t quite “get” the attraction of the iPad, but perhaps it’s because I’m not typically swayed by glamour. Eric Raymond is amazed, but not at the device itself. He’s amazed at how closesly it approaches the Platonic ideal of a Steve Jobs device:

The iPad is the ultimate Steve Jobs device — so hypnotic that not only do people buy one without knowing what it’s good for, they keep feeling like they ought to use it even when they have better alternatives for everything it does. It’s a triumph of style over substance, cool over utility, form over actual function. The viral YouTube videos of cats and two-years-olds playing with it speak truth in their unsurpassable combination of draw-you-in cuteness with utter pointlessness. It’s the perfect lust object of postmodern consumerism, irresistibly attractive but empty — you know you’ve been played by the marketing and design but you don’t care because your complicity in the game is part of the point.

This has to be Steve Jobs’s last hurrah. I predict this not because he is aging and deathly ill, but because he can’t possibly top this. It is the ne plus ultra of where he has been going ever since the Mac in 1984, with his ever-more obsessive focus on the signifiers of product-design attractiveness. And it’s going to make Apple a huge crapload of money, no question.

Sorta related, from BoingBoing:

British Lib Dem leader on Britain’s “war guilt”

Filed under: Britain, History, Politics, WW2 — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:20

The leader of Britain’s Liberal Democrats may have a lot of apologizing to do after an article he wrote as a member of the European parliament came to light:

A rattled Nick Clegg today sought to defend himself over his claim that the British people have a ‘more insidious cross to bear’ than Germany over World War II.

The Lib Dem leader attempted to laugh off criticism of his astonishing attack on our national pride — in which he said we suffered ‘delusions of grandeur’ and a ‘misplaced sense of superiority’ over having defeated the horrors of Nazism.

Campaigning ahead of tonight’s crucial second live TV showdown with party leaders, Mr Clegg said: ‘I must be the only politician who has gone from being Churchill to being a Nazi in under a week.’

Then again, despite the apparent anti-British taint, it might gain him votes in some crucial swing ridings where anti-British feelings are treasured and welcomed.

Update: Sorry about the original headline . . . must have started a cut-and-paste and then forgotten to fix it. Fixed now.

Tonight’s 1st round of the NFL draft

Filed under: Economics, Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:11

As in previous years, I have nothing useful to say about the draft because I don’t follow US college football — I don’t know the Heisman Trophy winner from the redshirt freshman at your local junior college. I’m so uninvolved that I won’t even catch the TV coverage.

My favourite team, the Minnesota Vikings, have eight picks in the draft (before the traditional horsetrading gets underway), and were expected to pick a cornerback in the first round (where they have the 30th pick). Yesterday, they signed former Eagle and Jet cornerback Lito Sheppard to a one-year contract, so they’re now expected to pick a defensive lineman . . . or maybe a quarterback (Tim Tebow, anyone?).

Under the circumstances, I did find this Wall Street Journal article quite interesting:

For a league that does many things well, the first round of the NFL draft is a mess.

The league gives its worst teams first crack at incoming college talent in the name of parity, but instead of giving bad teams a leg up, it often forces them to draft players they don’t really need at prices they can’t afford. Many top picks hold out of training camp before they sign, only to end up with enormous contracts that have little to do with their true value to a football team.

What’s more, as this page reported Wednesday, NFL teams have a 50% chance of blowing a first-round pick entirely — the sort of costly gaffe that can set a franchise back for years.

Granted that there is no perfect mechanism available to replace the current draft process, it’s pretty clear that improvements could be made. Gregg Easterbrook has been championing a rookie salary cap for several years, which would move the monster contract negotiations out from initial signing to a later date, allowing teams to pay more directly for demonstrated ability (but even that sort of system could be gamed, of course). As I wrote last year:

The story repeats, draft after draft, as highly touted college stars are taken early in the first round, sign megabucks contracts and then go into the witness protection program. A rookie salary cap would be in the interests of almost everyone: teams, veteran players, and rookies-not-taken-in-the-first-round. The only ones who’d see their situation change for the worse would be the first 32 players taken in the draft (who would now have to prove that they can make the transition to the pro league before being rewarded with big contracts).

Update, 10:45pm: Speaking of horse-trading . . . I just happened to check the New York Times liveblog, and Minnesota has traded their first round pick, #30, to the Detroit Lions. No Viking pick in the first round, but they get Detroit’s pick in the second round, #34 overall, plus a 4th (#100) and a 7th (#214) in exchange. QB Jimmy Clausen had slipped from a speculated top-10 pick all the way to 30, where the NY Times folks were speculating he’d be the Vikings’ pick. Don’t know if he’ll still be there at the 34th pick, or if the Vikings are even interested (the chatter had them interested in Tim Tebow, who went to the Denver Broncos with the 25th selection).

QotD: Ignatieff’s gun registry position

Filed under: Cancon, Law, Liberty, Quotations — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 08:40

Ignatieff feels that by tweaking the system, he can make it more palatable to rural Canadians and less objectionable to the eight Liberals who originally voted for its abolition. He thinks that by dropping the renewal fees registered gun owners pay and making failure to register a ticketing rather than criminal violation for first-time offenders, he has struck a compromise that will allow him to rein in his caucus while still being seen as a champion of gun control.

He hasn’t. Ignatieff’s plan won’t make a single Canadian safer. It will make the dysfunctional, obsolete registry more expensive while simultaneously making it weaker. The registry has already failed and permanently alienated large swaths of voters from the Liberal party. Why is Ignatieff the last person to realize this?

To accomplish his “goals,” Ignatieff has not only decided to write off any hopes for a Liberal expansion into rural Canada for a generation, further relegating his party to also-ran status anywhere outside of downtown Toronto and Montreal, but has also called into question his much-discussed respect for Parliament. Private member’s bills have traditionally been opportunities for all MPs to vote their conscience — an important tradition Ignatieff would set aside just to prop up the long-gun registry.

Matt Gurney, “Michael Ignatieff’s brand new mistake”, National Post, 2010-04-22

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