… coaches were still blitzing Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, who at the time were the best quarterbacks in the league (I guess Brady’s somehow still playing). Which is stupid, because good quarterbacks love getting blitzed. If they pick up on it — which they usually do, being good — a blitz is like an engraved, hand-delivered invitation to score. I have no idea how one goes about stopping Manning and Brady — if I did, I’d rent my knowledge out to a black guy (since no team would ever hire my honky ass) and we’d make millions — but I know one surefire way not to do it … and so does everyone else, and yet, they keep doing it. Are they trying to lose?
Again, this is emergent behavior. If Brady is carving his defense up, the defensive coordinator is under immense pressure to do something, anything, to change the dynamic. He knows that every yahoo in the tv audience is yelling “blitz him!!”, so that’s what the coordinator does, even though he knows full well that a) that’s stupid and counterproductive, and b) so are the yahoos urging him to do it, because if they knew anything worth knowing, they’d be wearing a headset instead of jockeying a barstool. Same goes for the yahoos at ESPN, from the bimbette who’s going to shove a mic in his face at the postgame press conference to the hair-gelled dipshits on the shout shows. “Why didn’t you blitz him?” is going to be the first thing out of their mouths, so again, even though he knows it, and they, are stupid, the coordinator dials up a few blitzes … with predictable results.
Football is a great metaphor for politics, especially in the sense that it’s the supposed experts, the guys who get paid millions of dollars to be innovative and analytical, who are the most allergic to actual analysis and innovation. I guess Tom Brady doesn’t play for the Patriots anymore, but for the sake of rhetorical continuity let’s assume he does, and look at legendary coach Bill Belichick. Much smarter, more knowledgeable folks than me have pointed out that he’s really not all that innovative, in the sense of “coming up with wacky new schemes.” Nor is he a particularly shrewd judge of football talent — for every Tom Brady who falls into his lap (Brady was famously a 6th round pick that Belichick had nothing to do with), or Randy Moss that he seems to rehabilitate for a few seasons, there are other big name free agents who join the Patriots and flame out, or highly touted draft picks that don’t do anything. The two secrets of Belichick’s success seem to be: 1) he actually knows the rules, and 2) he fits his game plans to the game.
#1 seems weird, I know, but here’s an example: A decade or so back, he was facing a rival, Pittsburgh or someone, who had a ferocious defense. Belichick knew that the said ferocious defense would be geared up to stopping TE Rob Gronkowski, who had burned them for a million yards last time. To defeat this, Belichick made sacrifice to his strange and awful gods, meditated in a secret Himalayan ashram with the Black Lotus society, and … checked the weather report, which told him that it would almost certainly be cold and rainy on game night. So then he broke out the rule book, in which he learned that there’s no rule against putting out as many offensive lineman as you want — it’s called a “goal line formation” — and so he simply swapped out Gronkowski for a sixth lineman, and ran the ball all night.
Which feeds into #2. Weather reports aren’t top secret information, and the rule book is literally right there, but everyone watching the game — most especially including the Steelers’ defensive coordinator — acted like Belichick had pulled his game plan straight out of the Necronomicon. They had no idea what he was doing, or any clue how to stop it. Here again, it’s not as if the Steelers’ d-coordinator had never seen a goal line formation before, or the announcers had never witnessed a game being played in the rain. It’s just that … well, he’s Rob Gronkowski. They pay him millions to catch balls and wreck worlds, and he was barely on the field. No other coach would do what Belichick did, because who else would tell a zillionaire glory boy to ride the pine, and expect to be obeyed?
See what I mean? Belichick’s “system” was that he didn’t have a system. He figured out what was most likely to win the game, then did that. Note too that nobody seemed to be baffled that an even richer, even more important glory boy, Tom Brady, was also pretty much useless that night. And again, who but Bill would have the sheer brass balls to tell a surefire Hall of Famer to just hand the ball off over and over and over and over and over …? There’s no question that if it should ever happen that Bill believed he had a better chance of winning a given game without Brady than with him, Brady’s ass would’ve been benched for that game, future Hall of Famer or not.
That’s what I mean about emergent behavior. Both Belichick and the Steelers’ d-coordinator thought they were trying to win the game. Hell, I’m willing to believe that both of them would swear in the very throne room of God Almighty that they did everything they could think of to win. It’s just that Belichick could think of a lot more “anything” than the other guy could, because the other guy felt he had to worry about the dudes on barstools, and the sideline reporterettes, and the jock sniffers on the ESPN rant shows, and Belichick … didn’t. That’s all.
Severian, “Are They Trying to Lose?”, Rotten Chestnuts, 2021-07-15.
October 21, 2021
QotD: Bill Belichick
September 24, 2019
Bill Belichick’s secret is that he doesn’t have a secret
I’m not a Patriots fan so I don’t think of Patriots head coach Bill Belichick as some sort of demi-god … although I have wondered if he’s got some sulfur burns from suspicious handshakes with diabolical representatives … but Severian makes the case that his big secret is that he doesn’t have one:
Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots watches the preseason game against the Washington Redskins at FedExField on August 28, 2009 in Landover, Maryland.
Photo by Keith Allison via Wikimedia Commons.
Belichick isn’t some kind of super-genius. Nor does he have some unique insight into the game. He’ll never write a book on “The Bill Belichick System,” because unlike every other celebrity coach, he doesn’t have a “system.” He simply does what he needs to do to win, one game at a time, with the pieces he has. That’s just leadership, in the traditional sense of the term, but so few people in our modern Media-driven culture have seen it that it totally fries our circuits. Surely he must have some double-secret grimoire of football excellence that he consults on the sidelines …?
Nope. Belichick’s secret is what he doesn’t have: A huge ego, a “system,” the my-way-or-the-highway mentality that infects nearly everyone given the tiniest smidgen of real power. An example: He once countered (and, of course, defeated) a ferocious defense on crappy field conditions by lining up a sixth offensive lineman as a tight end. Perfectly legal, but nobody else would’ve ever dreamed of doing it.
The Patriots are famous for using their (perennially excellent) tight ends more than any other team in the league, so naturally the opponent spent all week scheming to take away the TE. When Belichick kept his tight ends off the field, the opponent had no idea what to do; their quick cover linebackers got plastered by the extra linemen, and the Patriots’ running backs ran wild.
The lesson from this is twofold: First, that he would think to do it in the first place. Again, it’s perfectly legal. Teams do it all the time, actually, except they do it in goal line situations — instead of cramming the ball up the middle, they send a soft-handed lineman over into the corner of the end zone. He’s too big for anyone back there to cover, so if the QB can get it to him it’s an easy score. All Belichick did was run the same personnel out in the middle of the field. Simple, but football is the most conservative sport in existence — nobody does anything that hasn’t been done a million times before.
The second takeaway is that Belichick had enough control to pull it off. Nobody likes getting his playing time reduced, and tight ends in the modern game are highly-paid gentlemen accustomed to frequent success. Even if they wanted to, most coaches wouldn’t be able to take their glory boys off the field for an extended period — the players would riot, the Media would crucify him, and the fans would go nuts. Belichick’s guys bought in enough to follow the gameplan without complaint. He gave them the credit when the team won, but he would’ve taken the heat if they’d lost. Again, that’s not some special football coaching technique; it’s just leadership.
December 4, 2018
Putridity against the Patriots
The Vikings didn’t have a good outing against the New England Patriots on Sunday afternoon. In fact, aside from one or two highlights, it was a miserable offensive performance. At one point, the broadcast talking heads (Joe Buck and Troy Aikman) were making noises about just how good a job the Vikings offensive co-ordinator had done this season and how he ( John DeFilippo) would certainly be a top candidate for one of the head coaching openings after the season is over. I nearly choked to death. Of course, so did the Vikings offence. If what we’ve seen of his body of work is accurate, I think the team should do everything in its power to encourage him to become head coach of another franchise (Green Bay? Can it be Green Bay? Please?). The sooner the better. The man seems to know even less about running a modern NFL offence than I do!
At the Daily Norseman, Ted Glover offers his usual post-game Stock Market Report, of which the Buy/Sell recommendations are key:
Buy: Running the ball with Dalvin Cook early. For the first time since the Lions game, which feels like it was about two seasons ago, Dalvin Cook and the running game got going early in the game. Cook had 32 and 18 yards on consecutive runs in the first half, and the Vikings really looked good running to the perimeter.
Sell: Mostly ignoring Dalvin Cook on the ground. So, that 32 and 18 yard run? the 32 yard run came with 7:41 left in the first quarter, and the 18 yard run, the next time he carried it as a running back, came with 5:39 left … in the second quarter. In the meantime, Minnesota kept dumping off the Cook in the flat for a couple yards here and there (Cook ended up with 8 catches for 23 yards), and one would think after about the 37th dump off pass for three yards, one would try something else. One would be wrong, though.
Buy: The two minute drive to end the first half. Cousins was crisp, throwing dimes down field to Diggs, Rudolph, Robinson, and managed the clock perfectly. He hit Adam Thielen on a perfect out route in the end zone, and there was only :15 seconds left when the Vikings scored; too little time for Tom Brady. Hands down the best two minute drive the Vikings have orchestrated this year.
Sell: The 28 minutes that opened the first half. Other than Cook running the ball, though, the Vikings offense looked flat out putrid for the rest of the first half. The offensive line had trouble protecting Cousins, which led to either designed short passes or checkdowns that went for minimal gains. The result was an offense that went punt, missed fg, punt, punt in their first four possessions before their lone TD drive.
Buy: The Mike Zimmer challenge on the Gronkowski catch felt like a momentum shift. With 2:34 left in the first half, the Pats had a second and five from their own 22. Tom Brady completed a pass to Rob Gronkowski, which was ruled a first down. However, the spot was wrong, and Mike Zimmer challenged. He won, and instead of first and ten, it was third and one. On third down, the Vikings stuffed the Pats, they punted, and it felt like a seminal moment in the game.
Sell: The Vikings seized the moment. Yes, the Vikings took the ball on their ensuing drive and scored a touchdown, and went into halftime down only 10-7. Last year, a moment like that felt like it would be a lunching pad to take over the game and win it. But the offense reverted to what they did much of the first half, and didn’t find the end zone again. The defense had trouble getting off the field on third down, and couldn’t get a stop when they needed it. It’s become a broken record at this point, but the complementary football that the Vikings talk about, and were so good at last year, isn’t there this year.
Buy: The Vikings offense should be a top ten unit. They have a talented young running back, a good quarterback, a reliable tight end, and the best WR tandem in the NFL. I’m not saying this offense should be Oklahoma, but they’re built to score points
Sell: The Vikings offensive play calling. Honest to goodness, I have no idea what offensive coordinator John DeFilippo is thinking anymore. It feels like he tries to figure out what works, and then intentionally decides not do that thing. Look, when you have a running back that’s averaging 9.3 yards a carry, (and had two more good runs nullified because of penalties), why would you want to keep running the ball with him in bad weather? Silly cake eaters, what do we know? And once the Vikings do fall behind, there seems to be zero sense of urgency as time winds down. There is no quick huddle, the plays called are short dump offs that don’t stretch the field or get chunks of yards, and the clock bleeds time. By the time the Vikings do open it up, it’s much too little, too late. Nothing says ‘I don’t care anymore’ like a three yard slant on 4th and 11 down 14 with less than seven minutes to go.
It’s incredibly frustrating to watch, and the reputation Flip brought with him seems to be based on a resume every bit as flimsy as George O’Leary’s was when he was the Notre Dame coach for about 20 minutes back in the day. Late in the game, after about the 27th three yard pass that felt like it ate up 40 minutes of game clock and produced no first downs, Fox commentator Troy Aikman mentioned that Flip would be a head coaching candidate for a lot of teams in the off-season. I thought to myself ‘good, he won’t be on the Vikings anymore’, which was a completely different feeling than when Pat Shurmur left for the Giants last year.
Buy: Brian O’Neill has helped to fix the offensive line: When O’Neill was drafted, the general consensus was that he was going to have to sit for a year and bulk up, because he lacked upper body strength to be able to be effective in his rookie year. O’Neill has proven that narrative to be demonstrably false, and looks to be a fixture on the offensive line for a long time.
Sell: Brian O’Neill fixed the offensive line. All that said, the Vikings offense is struggling, in large part, to another poorly constructed offensive line. For all the good Spielman has done in constructing a roster in all other areas, the offensive line has been an ongoing issue for almost every season since he’s been named full time GM in 2012. The interior of the line is very subpar, the backups inspire little to no confidence, and if it’s not a priority for GM Rick Spielman in the off-season it could all quickly unravel for the Vikings.
February 7, 2017
I pity the Atlanta fans, but they’re reliving the Vikings fans’ emotions from the 1998 NFC Championship
For the record, I disagree with this take from the Minneapolis Star Tribune: I hated Atlanta for about two seasons (at most) after the demoralizing 1998 NFC Championship game outcome. (However, I still hate the “Saints”…)
The Atlanta Falcons, leading by a touchdown (and two-point conversion) 28-20 in Sunday’s Super Bowl, reached the New England 22-yard-line with less than 5 minutes to play after a remarkable catch by Julio Jones along the sidelines. At that point, all Atlanta *probably had to do, at the very worst, was run a few plays that didn’t lose yardage, attempt a reasonable field goal using a pretty much automatic kicker, and watch the time melt away while New England pushed uphill in desperation against a two-score deficit. If that set-up sounds familiar, dear Vikings fans, it should. Eighteen years ago in the NFC title game, the Vikings led these very same Falcons by almost exactly the same score (27-20) and pushed into Atlanta territory in the closing minutes *probably needing just a field goal from a very accurate kicker to salt the game away. (*Probably in both cases because you never know, but still). And, of course, we know what happened in next in both cases. Last night, Atlanta ran a series of plays that pushed the ball backwards — a sack and a penalty being the most damaging — and got driven out of field goal range. Instead of a Matt Bryant try — he missed just three field goals all year, and only one from inside 50 yards — the Falcons punted. New England predictably took that gift, marched down the field and tied the game. The Patriots then won in overtime. In the NFC title game following the 1998 season, Gary Anderson — who hadn’t missed a field goal all season, a fact that is seared into our brains and adds to the pain — missed his try wide left. Atlanta used that gift to march down the field and predictably tie the game. The Falcons then won in overtime. Vikings fans who secretly (or openly) have been wishing for some sort of revenge for that moment 18 years ago found it Sunday, albeit courtesy of a Patriots team that plenty of fans love to hate.
The Daily Norseman‘s Ted Glover offers words of comfort to ailing Falcons fans:
Not a lot of fanbases could mentally process what happened to the Falcons and come out sane on the other end. Vikings fans have been doing it since the 1960’s. And we’re here to help
Dear Falcons Fans,
Hi. I’m kind of at a loss for words for you guys, but I want you guys to know that you’re not alone. As Vikings fans, we’ve been there. Yes, every year one team loses the Super Bowl, and it sucks, but rarely is a loss this brutal, a collapse this complete; a disbelief this consuming that leaves you in a stupor. And right now it’s a feeling you don’t think you’ll ever get over. You’ve probably even considered cheering for another team after last night.
that’s just reactionary and stupid. You’re a Falcons fan, and you don’t change fandom because of one game. Even if that game was last night.
They say time heals all wounds. ‘They’ are wrong. Some things you will not ever get over, and this will be one of those things. And that’s okay. But time does put distance between what happened yesterday, and as the years pass, time also adds perspective, and will give you an appreciation of what was one hell of a 2016 season.
Even though there’s no way you believe that right now. I understand. I am a fan of the Minnesota Vikings, and processing sports grief is what we do. If I may have just a couple minutes of your time, I think we can help.
Right now you’re feeling a mix of grief, anger, and disbelief, and it’s all justifiable. Virtually no one blows a 25 point lead late in the third quarter, and never on football’s biggest stage. Seriously, how rare was this feat?
Since 2001, 394 teams trailed by at least 25 points in first three Qs of game. Record: 3-391. On #Falcons collapse: https://t.co/lj30p1yTVi
— Kevin Seifert (@SeifertESPN) February 6, 2017
That’s just brutal. And in the Super Bowl. Reading that, you’re pissed off all over again, and you think back to one or two plays that, if they go the other way, you win the Super Bowl. After Julio Jones’ eleventy third ridiculous catch, all you had to do was run the ball three times, kick a FG, and it’s over.
But that didn’t happen. And the Falcons lost. And it might have been the worst loss in NFL history, certainly in Falcons history. I’m going to be brutally honest with you, and you might not want to hear this, but this game will gnaw at you for the rest of your life, and you’ll never truly get over it. Most games, yeah, eventually you move on and shrug your shoulders over.
But there are moments that you will never, ever truly put aside, and it doesn’t matter how many championships or big games your team eventually wins.
January 24, 2017
“After a drab regular season and shoddy postseason, the NFL owes us a dramatic Super Bowl”
Jim Souhan on the survivors of the AFC and NFC title games last weekend:
The New England Patriots will play in the pre-Minneapolis Super Bowl. Tom Brady will try to become the first quarterback and Bill Belichick the first coach to win five Big Bowls.
The historic implication: With a victory over the Atlanta Falcons in two weeks in Houston, the Patriots can prove themselves one of the most dominant franchises in NFL history, if not all of sports.
They will face a franchise, Atlanta, which lost its only Super Bowl appearance, after upsetting the Vikings in 1998. The Patriots will be expected to win, perhaps will be expected to dominate, and yet the most interesting aspect of episodic dynasty is that they rarely dominate in the games that have made their reputation.
In six Super Bowls featuring Brady and Belichick, the Patriots never have won or lost by more than four points. Their composite score in those six games: 135-129.
In Atlanta, they will face an offense that has surrounded star receiver Julio Jones with worthy skill-position threats, which enabled quarterback Matt Ryan to have his best season, one in which he probably will be named the league MVP.
Belichick is known for taking away an opponents’ best weapon, but the Falcons’ dominance and health, combined with the Patriots’ Super Bowl history, hints that Super Bowl LI will be dramatic.
July 4, 2015
Which NFL team is the most AMERICA?
It’s the bitter end of the off-season in the NFL: everyone is waiting for training camps to open and there’s no football news at all (except disciplinary announcements). To help fill these empty days, Dave Rappoccio ranks all 32 NFL teams by how AMERICA they are:
32. Bills
Buffalo is basically Canada[…]
15. Vikings
Yes, they are Norsemen, but charging into villages, burning everything to the ground and ruining lives is totally American as hell.[…]
5. Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles are very AMERICA. Bald Eagles? Hell yes, slap our big ass scary national bird on it. The face on the logo faces left! Totally different than every other logo, a special snowflake, just like we think we are! It’s angry, SO AMERICA. They are based in Philadelphia, which was literally our capital city for a while! The liberty bell is there! Why aren’t they higher? Because the Eagles ain’t won sh*t, and America wins sh*t.4. The Patriots
Giant annoying bullies who talk stupid and are too proud of themselves, so much so that they make their own rules, man. So America.3. The Cowboys
What? How are they not no. 1? Because no matter how gloriously American the cowboy is, The Cowboys are loyal to Texas, and Texas would be its own country if we let it.2. The Steelers
Fat, angry, out of work industrial giants. Go America.1. The Redskins
The Redskins? First? Why? Think about it. They are the actual first Americans. If you want to look at it a different way, the Skins represent all the shaming and systematic oppression of those people, the most American way to treat others! Plus how we totally ignore them and forget to change the name! They are based in Washington DC, the capital of the country, and is run by a greedy capitalistic megalomaniac with no regard for others but claims to support “traditions” which are actually offensive! Plus, we haven’t actually been all that great since the 90s and we have horrible gun related tragedies all the time (Sean Taylor). That is ‘MERCA as Sh*t.
January 15, 2015
Reasons to hate every surviving team in the playoffs
At Football Savages, “Draw Play” Dave Rappoccio explains why it’s okay to hate all of the NFL teams left in the hunt for this year’s Lombardi trophy:
So only 4 teams are left in this year’s quest for the Lombardi trophy. The Seahawks of Seattle, the Colts of Indianapolis, the Packers of Green Bay, and the Patriots of
BostonNew England. I hate all of them. I wish for fire and brimstone and chaos in this final 4. I want the winners to limp into the final confrontation in Arizona and die on the field halfway through the first quarter. I hate them. Here’s why I think you should hate them too:Colts – 2 Super Bowl Championships
Packers – 4 Super Bowl Championships
Patriots- 3 Super Bow Championships
Seahawks- 1 Super Bowl Championship, but it was won just last yearAll 4 teams have been to the Super Bowl since the turn of the century. Outside the Packers, all have been there multiple times, and the Packers still won their appearance. The Patriots have the longest Super Bowl win drought, at a measly 10 years, and they’ve been twice since ’04. There is no underdog this season. There is no plucky team that could. There are only spoiled rich kids. The kids in your school who would get the new video games as they came out. The kids who would get dropped off in BMWs. The kids who had pools and pool parties and never invited you. The kids who would get A’s for participation because social interactions are easy when you are the kid everyone adores. Meanwhile the Detroit Lions sit in the back corner of the classroom and have a reputation as the smelly kid.
But championships aren’t the only reason to hate a team. Lots of teams have won championships, many of them multiple championships. But those teams aren’t here. The Steelers are sad and old. The 49ers are literally on fire. The Broncos have been taken behind the shed and Old Yeller’d. The Giants are sitting in the basement eating glue. The Cowboys are running around the lawn with no clothes on covered in filthy mud screaming obscenities. No, we need more to hate these 4 rich kids. We need to add real depth to our hate. So lets go over this, team by team.
September 15, 2014
Matt Cassel throws four interceptions in 30-7 loss to Patriots
It was no surprise to see the Vikings come out for Sunday’s game a bit distracted, after the bombshell of the Adrian Peterson situation. What was unexpected was for quarterback Matt Cassel to have one of his worst career games, matching his record of four interceptions in one game. When he wasn’t throwing to guys in the wrong coloured jerseys, or underthrowing passes to the guys in the purple jerseys, he was holding on to the ball far too long and inviting sacks … it was a bad game all around for Cassel. It’s probably too much to say that he lost the game single-handedly, but his performance was the key to everything else going wrong. A blocked field goal attempt made the score 24-7 instead of 17-10 at the half, and the Vikings never got closer in the second half.
Midway through the third quarter, after Cassel’s third pick of the day, the crowd at TCF Bank Stadium started to chant “Teddy”, hoping that Mike Zimmer would bench Cassel and send in Teddy Bridgewater. This inspired @Hiigashi to post this on Twitter:
Like many Vikings fans, I’m looking forward to the debut of our new quarterback, but Zimmer is right not to send him in if he’s not ready yet. And no matter how badly Cassel played, it was still better than we saw in the dying moments of Donovan McNabb’s career (that forced Christian Ponder into the starting role before he was ready).
Offensive woes aside (and there were enough of them), the defence did not do well and the special teams performance was cover-your-eyes bad. The blocked field goal run back for a Patriots TD was the lowlight, but at one point, the Vikings only had nine players on the field for a punt return. The first task of returning special teams co-ordinator Mike Priefer will be to fix the issues that hamstrung the team yesterday (Priefer’s three-game suspension was reduced to two, so he’ll be back in the team facility this week).
Update: Jim Souhan explains the two phases of Matt Cassel.
It took Matt Cassel just two games to deftly summarize his career.
In Game 1, DiploMatt, the nice-guy professional who makes everyone comfortable, eased the Vikings to a 34-6 victory over St. Louis while playing flawlessly.
In Game 2, facing a superior defensive coach and lacking a star running back, HazMatt, the toxic quarterback, threw four interceptions, dooming the Vikings in their 30-7 loss to the Patriots at TCF Bank Stadium.
DiploMatt can make the best of a good situation. DiploMatt won 11 games with an excellent Patriots team in 2008, and won 10 with a previously inept Kansas City team in 2010.
HazMatt has gone 13-27 in his other five seasons, dooming his stay with the Chiefs in 2012 by throwing 12 interceptions and fumbling eight times in nine games.
DiploMatt runs the offense with discipline.
HazMatt stares down receivers so long defensive backs have time to Xerox blocking schemes for their interception returns.
If the Vikings are using kid gloves with rookie Teddy Bridgewater, they need to wear yellow jumpsuits when they approach Cassel.
January 31, 2013
Randy Moss is not the greatest NFL receiver … but he could have been
Judd Zulgad agrees that Randy Moss was a great wide receiver during his career in Minnesota, was even better in New England, but he was not the best ever:
Randy Moss declared this week that he believes he is the greatest wide receiver to ever play the game.
Moss is wrong. He’s not.
That honor belongs to Jerry Rice and from there the debate about who is second can begin.
But in giving ESPN and sports-talk shows invaluable fodder to discuss during Super Bowl week, one has to wonder this about Moss: Will he wake up one day long after his NFL career is over and realize that he could have been the greatest receiver to have played if only he had elected to apply himself.
There are no denying Moss’ talents.
Moss, who at 35 is spending the twilight of his career with the San Francisco 49ers, served almost immediate notice upon his arrival with the Minnesota Vikings in 1998 that NFL teams had made a mistake by passing on him 19 times in the first round of that draft.
In his rookie season, Moss helped to redefine how we thought about the wide receiver position.
[. . .]
Cris Carter might not have been beloved by the media, but he tried his best to mold Moss into a professional in 1998. Moss arrived back in Minnesota for a tumultuous month in 2010 and did far more damage than good in numerous areas, including when it came to Percy Harvin’s development.
Moss attempted to point out Wednesday the quality of quarterbacks that Rice had to work with during the majority of his career. What Moss failed to mention is that he spent three-plus seasons with a first-ballot Hall of Famer in Tom Brady and broke Rice’s record by catching 23 touchdown passes in 2007.
Guess who ruined the relationship between Moss and the Patriots? It wasn’t the football team. Rice bounced around late in his career because he wanted to hang on too long. Moss began to bounce around during the prime of his career because he had become a pain.
Moss, like Brady, should go into Canton, Ohio, on the first ballot when he’s eligible — it looks like he wants to stick around for at least one more season — and he should go down as a receiver who helped change the NFL as we know it.
What he won’t go down as is the greatest receiver of all time. For that, Randy Moss has no one to blame but himself.
November 10, 2012
The Two Scotts’ NFL picks (beat up on Buffalo edition)
It’s not nice to pick on poor, defenceless Buffalo … but that won’t stop either Scott:
Buffalo (plus 11) at New England
Scott Feschuk: As a Bills fan, I’ve so far refrained from criticizing QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, largely because he represents a genuine upgrade over guys like Trent Edwards and J.P. Losman. Remember Losman? You couldn’t find a more incompetent quarterback if you took Ryan Leaf’s brain, stuffed it inside Matt Leinart’s skull and handed the skull to JaMarcus Russell to throw 12 feet over the head of a wide-open receiver. But enough is enough. Fitzpatrick just isn’t getting it done and the fact that he graduated from Harvard and probably knows how to use a protractor does not make up for the fact HE NO CAN THROWY MR. OBLONG. Right now, the only thing that will save 2012 for Buffalo fans is if it turns out that the Bills’ season syncs up perfectly with Dark Side of the Moon. Fingers crossed. Pick: Buffalo.
Scott Reid: Breaking News — the Buffalo Bills, whose defence has allowed an NFL all-time high forty squinjillion points, has fired its entire defensive team and replaced them with the Muppets and Wall-E.
Head coach Chan Gailey explained that, while unconventional, the technically lifeless Muppets would still represent a substantial upgrade to most positions. “Gonzo played a little Division II ball before he got into show biz and Kermit has great instincts around the ball — as long as we can keep that pig away.” New free safety Animal had this to add in an interview with WNY Sports, “Lurrghh.” In other news, the Bills denied that they’ve been negotiating with Tennessee for the rights to field goal kicker Stuart Little. Pick: New England.
February 5, 2012
Your Super Bowl TV watching schedule
Scott Stinson charts exactly what will happen over the long, long, long, long, long, long, long hours of the pre-game show leading up to kickoff sometime in the next 48 hours:
Planning to watch the Super Bowl? A little leery about the six-and-a-half-hour pre-game show? Fear not, we can provide you with an approximate guide for what you will see. Read this, then spend time with your family instead. Win-win! (All times approximate, by which we mean made up.)
12:00 p.m. NBC’s broadcast is coming to you live from Indianapolis, which means we begin with Bob Costas trying to: (a) argue that Indianapolis is a great place and that the game is somehow more meaningful for being there; and (b) keep a straight face
12:32 p.m. First shot of Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski walking on his injured ankle. Will he play? Will he be effective? Fortunately, we have six hours to listen to people come up with ever more inventive ways to say “maybe.”
12:45 p.m. Costas gives an earnest speech about Indianapolis, home of the iconic Colts franchise. Not mentioned: Most of the iconic stuff happened in Baltimore, before the owner snuck the team out of town in the dead of night. In Indy, the history of the franchise’s fortunes can be summed up as “crappycrappycrappyPeytonManningcrappy.”
1:02 p.m. Time to soak in some of the exciting moments from the official “tailgate” party, which is in fact nowhere near a parking lot. Musical act falls under the category of “Popular Enough Once That Some People in Audience Have Heard of Them, But Not So Popular That We Would Want Them on TV For Long.” So, Fleetwood Mac, Alabama or 3 Doors Down.
1:04 p.m. The real question here is whether the performance rivals that of the tailgate party a few years back, when Journey appeared and caused America to collectively wonder when Steve Perry turned into a Fillipino guy with long hair.
Update: For those of you who only watch the Super Bowl for the ads (and I know there are lots of you), Reuters has most of the “big” ads collated into one post for your convenience. This is especially useful for those of us north of the 49th parallel, where many of the ads will be overlaid with the same crappy commercials we’ve seen all year. I’m not normally a fan of “there ought to be a law” solutions, but I’d be less than upset if CRTC regulations prohibited showing the same commercial 6-8 times per hour. (If nothing else, that level of repetition probably irritates potential customers more than it attracts them.)
Update, 6 February: It looks like the Reuters collection in the first update was intended to emphasize the lamest of the ads. There’s another collection in the National Post with more. (I don’t follow hockey, but I did think the Budweiser hockey ad was well done, even if they just stole the idea from an improv group.)
November 2, 2010
Vikings coach taking heat for throwing away 3rd round pick in Moss trade
When it was first announced, the trade with the New England Patriots for Randy Moss looked like a daring, innovative solution to some of the problems the Vikings were facing this season. They gave up a third-round pick in the draft for a volatile, aging, but still talented wide receiver — a point of weakness this season with Sidney Rice still on the PUP list. A third-rounder seemed like a pretty fair exchange to shore up the weakest link on the team.
Until yesterday, of course, when Brad Childress waived Moss. It’s not clear if he informed the ownership before doing so:
Super Bowl? How about super bizarre?
Less than a month after bringing Randy Moss back to the Minnesota Vikings, coach Brad Childress jettisoned the star wide receiver after four games.
According to an NFL source, Childress did not immediately inform owner Zygi Wilf of his intentions, upsetting the owner, who had just given up a draft choice and committed millions to the mercurial receiver. The apparent lack of communication meant Moss was not put on waivers by the 3 p.m. deadline and the team did not confirm he was gone until issuing a statement Monday night.
A third-round pick for 3/4 of a season of Moss still seemed like the solution to the passing game problems. A third-round pick in exchange for four games now looks like the worst trade in the NFL this season.
If Moss is claimed off waivers, the team that gets him would inherit the final year of a contract that is worth $6.4 million in base salary. But if Moss passes through waivers, the Vikings will owe Moss the remaining $3.888 million on his deal and another team could sign Moss for approximately $450,000.
The Vikings have to hope that someone like the Buffalo Bills or the Seattle Seahawks are willing to pay nearly $4 million to get Moss. Otherwise, they’re out both the draft pick and the rest of Randy’s salary for the year.
November 1, 2010
Randy Moss “honeymoon” already at an end
Many commentators were reminding us that Randy Moss has a history of falling “out of love” with his current team fairly soon, unless he gets a steady diet of big plays. Big plays aren’t in the Vikings playbook this year, so the honeymoon is already over:
Straight regret, homey.
Vikings wide receiver Randy Moss sure sounded like he missed the New England Patriots in his full-court media press after Sunday’s 28-18 loss.
Moss clutched the podium for an impromptu five-minute press conference in which he refused to answer questions, gushed over the Patriots organization and ripped Vikings players and coaches for not listening to his tips about his old team from 2007 to Oct. 6, 2010.
[. . .]
“If it’s going to be an interview, I’m going to conduct it,” Moss said. “So I’m going to answer my own questions then give you all the answers.”
His first attempt focused mainly on his love for the Patriots, listing off everyone from quarterback Tom Brady, coach Bill Belichick, owner Robert Kraft and various Patriots team captains.
Belichick is “the best coach in football history” in Moss’ eyes.
Update: Moss has been waived after his verbal love letter to the Patriots.
October 29, 2010
The Two Scotts disagree over Vikings-Patriots
Scott Feschuk and Scott Reid each pick the other team in their weekly football column:
Feschuk: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the Minnesota Vikings. Welcome to the NFL’s hottest soap opera, where tensions are running so high between Brett Favre and Brad Childress that it’s only a matter of time until they get in a fistfight or start making out. Favre has described his injury as a “broke foot” because he’s from Mississippi and words like “fractured” and “ankle” done got too many dem fancy “syllbulls” in ’em. Will Favre’s ankle be healthy enough for him to play but painful enough that he can limp around engendering our collective sympathy? We sure hope and also know so. Meanwhile, Childress keeps taking shots at his own players — most recently by saying he hopes he that “one of these days” he gets to coach a team as mentally tough as the Patriots. If the Vikings somehow turn this around, Childress may be the first NFL coach to be doused with Gatorade, then sealed inside the empty jug and rolled down a hill onto the interstate. Pick: Minnesota.
Reid: According to some reports, Brett Favre admits to sending suggestive texts to Jenn Sterger but denies he forwarded photographs of his wang chung. This is the beginning of the tried and true male tradition of the ‘half-lie.’ Confess to some sins (it’s generally smart to pick the lesser crimes that will prove to be eventually undeniable anyhow) in an effort to bolster your credibility as you reject the remaining — and usually more damaging — allegations. “Alright honey, I’ll admit: I gave that girl a ride in the car. Frankly, she looked a bit cold and I was already planning on driving by that spot under the bridge so it wasn’t even out of my way. But God as my witness, I did not let her touch me with her feet. She just made that part up to make me look bad in the eyes of my family, friends and law enforcement.” Of course, there are two vital steps to successfully pulling off the half-lie. First, you must volunteer the confession part early in order to pre-empt and create doubt about the really bad stuff. Second, yo, Kim Philby — have you ever heard of hotmail? Pick: New England.
October 6, 2010
Patriots trading Randy Moss?
An interesting development, indeed: NFL.com is reporting that a deal to send wide receiver Randy Moss back to Minnesota is “99 percent complete”:
The Patriots would receive a 2011 third-round draft pick in exchange for the seven-time Pro Bowl wide receiver, who started his NFL career with the Vikings in 1998. Had New England allowed Moss to leave in free agency next offseason, it would have received a third-round selection in the 2012 draft as compensation.
Moss, who’s in the final year of his current contract, is scheduled to make $6.4 million in base salary this season. He wants a new deal, but he wouldn’t receive one from the Vikings as part of the trade, Lombardi reported.
[. . .]
What could change is the uniform that Moss wears, although he knows it well.
A first-round draft pick out of Marshall, Moss played in Minnesota from 1998 to 2004 and posted six 1,000-yard seasons. He was traded to the Oakland Raiders and had two mediocre seasons before being dealt to New England, where he enjoyed a resurgence. He caught an NFL-record 23 touchdown passes in 2007, his first season with the Patriots, and hasn’t had fewer than 1,000 receiving yards in a full season with the team.
If so, great! I was very sorry to see Randy leave the team, and it’s been an open secret for years that Brett Favre wanted to play with Moss. The Vikings are desperate for a number one receiver while Sidney Rice recovers from surgery, so this would be a no-brainer. I really hope this isn’t just empty rumours . . .
Update: It’s supposedly a done deal.
More than 38 years after quarterback Fran Tarkenton returned to the Vikings after once being traded away, receiver Randy Moss has gone home, too.
With the chances of the deal hovering in the high 90th percentile only an hour ago, the deal has been completed, according to Adam Schefter of ESPN.
The Vikings get Moss, and the Patriots get a third-round pick in the 2011 draft.
The looming deal was first reported by Jay Glazer of FOX, who also reports that the deal is done. Glazer reports that the Vikings hope to get Moss to Minnesota ASAP in order to commence preparations for the Monday night game against the Jets. Practices begin on Thursday.
We haven’t done the research, but we’re assuming that Moss is the first player in NFL history to appear in back-to-back Monday Night Football games.
The parallels between Moss and Tarkenton are eerie. Both players started their careers with the Vikings and spent six years with the team. Both players were gone for five years. Both players eventually returned.
Let’s hope that the Tarkenton parallels continue . . . Tark was a key component of the dominant Viking teams that went to three Superbowls.
Update, the second: Randy Moss jerseys already on sale at the Vikings store:
