Quotulatiousness

December 17, 2018

Miami has two really good plays in 41-17 loss to Minnesota

Filed under: Football, Wine — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 03:00

Although the rest of the game may not be all that memorable for Dolphins fans, Minkah Fitzpatrick’s pick-6 in the second quarter and the 75-yard TD run to start the third were definite high points for Miami. Before Cousins threw that interception, Miami was down 21 points and the Vikings were threatening to run up the score. After the interception, the dreaded over-cautiousness came back to Cousins and he was clearly more worried about making mistakes than making plays. The Dolphins’ running touchdown was a fantastic effort that the football gods rewarded appropriately. Other than those two plays, however, there isn’t a lot of comfort for the team or the fans, especially when your quarterback ends up being sacked nine times.

The first quarter was practically flawless for the Vikings in new offensive co-ordinator Kevin Stefanski’s first game calling plays, with an almost perfect balance between passing plays and rushes. Dalvin Cook got his first rushing touchdown of the season and Latavius Murray ran in a second. Kirk Cousins was boasting a perfect passer rating at the end of the first fifteen minutes of play, and Miami didn’t have any answers at all.

(more…)

July 8, 2017

QotD: Recreational boating

Filed under: Humour, Quotations — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 01:00

The Marine Forecast is always telling you obvious things, such as which way the wind is blowing, which you can figure out for yourself just by watching the motion of your spiderwebs. They never tell you about the serious boating hazards, which are located — write down this Boating Safety Tip — UNDER THE WATER. It turns out that although the water is basically flat on top, underneath there are large hostile objects such as reefs and shoals (or “forecastles”) that have been carelessly strewn around, often smack dab in the path of recreational boaters.

I discovered this shocking fact recently when some friends visited us in Miami, and in a foolish effort to trick them into thinking that we sometimes go out on our boat, we actually went out on our boat. It was a good day for boating, with the barometer gusting at about 47 liters of mercury, and we had no problems until I decided to make the boat go forward. For some reason, motorboats are designed to go at only two speeds: “Virtually Stopped” and “Airborne.” We were traveling along at Virtually Stopped, which seemed inadequate — barnacles were passing us — so I inched the throttle forward just a teensy bit and WHOOOOMM suddenly we were passengers on the Space Shuttle Buster. Every few feet Buster would launch himself completely out of the water and attain such an altitude that at any moment you expected flight attendants to appear with the beverage cart, and then WHAM Buster would crash down onto a particularly hard patch of water, causing our food and possessions and spiders to bounce overboard, forming a convenient trail for the sharks to follow. (“Look!” the sharks were saying. “A set of dentures! It won’t be long now!”)

In this relaxing and recreational manner we lurched toward downtown Miami, with me shouting out the various Points of Interest. “I THINK THAT’S A DRUG DEALER!” I would shout. Or: “THERE GOES ANOTHER POSSIBLE DRUG DEALER!” I was gesturing toward these long, sleek motorboats with about 14 engines apiece that you see roaring around the Miami waters driven by men with no apparent occupation other than polishing their neck jewelry.

So it was a pleasant tropical scene, with the wind blowing and the sea foaming and the sun glinting off the narcotics traffickers. As the captain, I was feeling that pleasant sense of well-being that comes from being in total command and not realizing that you are heading directly toward a large underwater pile of sand. I would say we hit it at about 630 knots, so that when Buster skidded to a cartoon-style stop, we were in about 6 inches of water, a depth that the U.S. Coast Guard recommends for craft classified as “Popsicle sticks or smaller.” This meant that, to push Buster off the sand, my friend John and I had to go INTO THE WATER, which lapped threateningly around our lower shins. Probably the only thing that saved our lives was that the dreaded Man-Eating But Really Flat Shark was not around.

Dave Barry, “Look Out! Dave’s At The Helm Of Buster Boat”, Orlando Sentinel, 1991-05-30.

December 22, 2014

Miami Dolphins beat Vikings 37-35 on a blocked punt for a safety

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 07:25

This wasn’t a game for the ages, although it did have some twists and turns in the storyline leading up to the final minute of play (when the Dolphins legitimately got do do the Safety Dance). Teddy Bridgewater was unable to secure the victory in front of about 100 family and friends in the stadium, although it was a close game from start to finish. Bridgewater ended up with 19 of 25 for 259 yards, two touchdowns and an interception (but should have been credited with a third touchdown). Although the penalties didn’t make the difference in the game, it was disturbing to see two Vikings defenders lose their cool (and cost the team 15 yards each) after the play was over. Sharif Floyd and Gerald Hodges were both flagged for unsportsmanlike behaviour (and will undoubtedly hear from coach Mike Zimmer about their lack of discipline).

1500ESPN‘s Andrew Kramer sums up the post-game comments:

“I thought he played well,” coach Mike Zimmer said postgame, via Vikings.com. “One interception was bad luck. Rest of the time, thought he did a good job scrambling the pocket. He made some great throws, played with composure and continued to do all those things.”

Bridgewater helped validate the 550-word opening statement from offensive coordinator Norv Turner on Thursday, when the grizzled veteran coach defended his rookie’s progress by calling him ‘incredible.’

While Bridgewater had grown comfortable hitting receivers in the middle of the field, he showed off his arm on Sunday with touch passes, including a 21-yard touchdown to Greg Jennings and a 22-yard completion to Chase Ford that was millimeters away from being another touchdown. He also converted a 3rd-and-13 attempt with a deep throw to Jennings for 24 yards.

In a season where injuries and legal troubles caused a flood of attrition, the Vikings’ second overall pick in May’s NFL Draft has been their floatation device.

“Played pretty good, for the most part,” Bridgewater said. “We have to play a full game. On offense, we did a great job. High intensity.”

After dropping back Bridgewater nearly 50 times in Detroit, Turner came into Miami with a focus on creating a ground game. Matt Asiata took seven carries on the opening drive, picking up gains of 7, 8 and 10 yards in the first quarter as the Vikings cruised to a 14-0 lead.

Akin to the loss in Detroit, that early lead evaporated; but this time it wasn’t on Bridgewater, who threw two costly picks to the Lions. The Vikings’ defense allowed four touchdowns on four Miami drives in the second half, squashing the 10-point lead at intermission.

And the Daily Norseman‘s Ted Glover on the third touchdown that should have been awarded to Teddy Bridgewater and Chase Ford:

Sell: Referees calling a penalty on every play in this game. I mean, holy crap was that one of the most horribly officiated games I’ve ever witnessed. Mystery defensive holding on Chad Greenway that extended a drive, mystery defensive holding on Xavier Rhodes that extended a drive, the BS PI call on Rhodes at the end of the game when he was looking at the ball and making a play on said ball, the list goes on. Did they cost the Vikings the game? 99% of the time, I think the calls even themselves out over the course of a game, but there’s a nagging burning in my gut over this game. Not necessarily on the penalties, which were bad, but on the Chase Ford touchdown that wasn’t right before halftime.

I mean, he had possession, his foot was in bounds, he dragged his toe in bounds, and he was inside the pylon before he went out. If that isn’t a touchdown, then honestly, I don’t know what a TD is in the NFL anymore. And if that was bad enough, when officials reviewed the Mike Wallace TD that occurred in a similar fashion later in the game, Wallace’s foot was no more out of bounds than Ford’s was, yet his TD call stood. It was one of the more horridly officiated games the Vikings have been involved in that I can remember. Since last week. Or the week before.

Update: Jim Souhan points the finger of blame for yesterday’s defensive collapse.

If you were playing Lifelong Vikings Fan Bingo on Sunday, you were able to cross off “punt blocked out of end zone to lose game” and “onside kick from 20-yard line,” winning you an autographed copy of Gary Anderson’s just-in-time-for-the-holidays coffee-table book titled I Only Missed Once.

Say this for the Vikings: They have evolved. A few weeks ago they were hoping their defense could give their rookie quarterback a chance to win. Sunday, they asked Bridgewater to overcome the team’s most disappointing defensive performance of the season.

A week after frustrating the Lions, the Vikings defense made the Dolphins look like they were still employing players named Griese and Csonka.

[…]

The Vikings made so many mistakes, missed so many tackles, it was enough to make you wonder whether some of their young defenders found their way to South Beach on Saturday night — and whether some of them should have stayed there on Sunday.

“Poor performance by us,” Zimmer said. “I saw us do things we haven’t done in a long time.”

Zimmer gets gloriously furious when his team, and in particular his defense, fails to display a grasp of fundamentals.

Some days, he seems to change colors right in front of you, from pale white to crimson. Sunday, Zimmer looked so angry you wondered if he was going to change states, from solid to liquid to steam.

“We were undisciplined,” he said, apparently auditioning for an endorsement deal with Maalox. “We didn’t even line up half — or some — of the time.”

Zimmer has earned praise often this season. Sunday, he was the only logical person to blame.

[…]

After a terse-but-polite news conference, someone asked Zimmer if he had offered a similar message to his players. “It was stronger,” he said.

September 20, 2010

Vikings put themselves deeper in the hole

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 09:35

I didn’t see yesterday’s game . . . and it sounds as if I missed a really disappointing viewing opportunity:

Sunday’s loss came down to missed opportunities for the Vikings, who wasted Adrian Peterson’s first regular-season 100-yard rushing performance since last Nov. 15 against Detroit.

The stats indicate this was a one-sided game — in the Vikings’ favor.

They ran 72 offensive plays to 46 for the Dolphins. They had 364 total yards to 226 for Miami and controlled the ball for 35 minutes, 48 seconds.

But when faced with crucial situations, the Vikings failed. They converted five of 14 third-down opportunities and were unsuccessful on three of four fourth-down attempts. The Vikings brought the ball into the red zone five times but came away with only one touchdown.

Favre threw three interceptions — one more than all of last season at home — and committed a crucial fumble in the third quarter, recovered by Miami linebacker Koa Misi in the end zone for a touchdown and a 14-0 Dolphins lead.

Tom Powers wonders how long it’ll be before the team (or the fans) reach for that panic button:

The magic is gone. Or at least it has been misplaced.

Brett Favre and the Vikings’ offense had labored all game Sunday at the Metrodome. But with 1:42 left, they took the field, trailing by four points, 55 yards from victory. Favre has made a career out of situations such as these. And not one soul from among the sellout crowd for the season’s first home game had dared move toward the exit. This was Favre time.

On the sideline, coach Brad Childress felt confident. Despite watching Favre occasionally misfire against the Dolphins and watching a sub-par receiving corps struggle to make plays, he was convinced something good was about to happen. He could sense it.

“You do,” he agreed afterward. “And we had a timeout left.”

Not this time. What in the past would have been a final, glorious Vikings touchdown drive fizzled. The last play was a raggedy-looking short pass toward Visanthe Shiancoe over the middle. Then the Vikings walked off the field, heads down, staring at an oh and two record after their 14-10 loss to the Miami Dolphins.

Somewhere in Vikings Land there is a big red button just waiting to be pushed. Then sirens will wail and buzzers will bellow. Then it officially will be time to panic. Can that button be pushed after just two games?

So, Brett Favre has now had his post-pre-season workout . . . will he be back in synch with his receivers next week? It took three regular season games last year, against weaker opponents than the first two this year. The defence is in late-season form: they’ve been doing more than their share of the fighting, it’s the other guys in the passing attack who haven’t been picking up the slack.

Bernard Berrian is making a case for him not being with the team next year: this was his big opportunity to prove that he’s a number one receiver, but he’s not making the case (Powers is even harsher, “Bernard Berrian is about as useful as a hood ornament”). Visanthe Shiancoe once again was the leading receiver, and Adrian Peterson had his best running performance in more than a year . . . but the wide receivers didn’t show up on the stat sheet.

It’s not impossible for the Vikings to right the ship and sail on to a division title . . . it’s just the next thing to impossible at 0-2 with the Packers doing everything right.

March 1, 2010

Miami considers new ways to marginalize the homeless

Filed under: Bureaucracy, USA — Tags: , , , , , — Nicholas @ 12:05

Miami has a problem with the homeless, so it has come up with a new and innovative way to address it: making it even more difficult for people to (legally) help feed them.

Miami residents may have to think twice before giving up their leftovers to the homeless.

The Miami City Commission is set to consider a proposal next month that would prohibit unauthorized people and groups from feeding the homeless downtown, an ordinance proponents say will cut down on litter and ensure the safety of the food the homeless do eat.

The Miami Downtown Development Authority recently approved the measure, sending it up to the commission.

Though the change could draw objections, David Karsh, spokesman for Development Authority Chairman Marc Sarnoff, said the rule isn’t a blanket ban. He said that anybody would be able to feed the homeless, but they would have to go through formal training first — amateurs couldn’t just give up part of their lunch to help someone they meet on the street.

I’m sure there are problems . . . few people are homeless voluntarily unless they have other issues (commonly mental health problems). But this proposal appears to be moving in the wrong direction, by discouraging individual efforts to help. Give a homeless man a sandwich and face a $300 fine? Two predictable results 1) fewer ad hoc efforts to help the homeless, and 2) fewer meals for the homeless.

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