Quotulatiousness

June 4, 2010

At least it’s not rectangular

Filed under: Africa, Soccer — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 09:07

The official World Cup soccer ball is not popular with some folks. Keepers, in particular:

[G]oalkeepers dislike the Adidas ball more than Diego Maradona dislikes reporters and photographers. Although to the keepers’ credit, they have not yet fired at the balls with air rifles or run over them in their cars.

Basically, the ball is being criticized for being too light and too curvy, as if it were a fashion model who eats too little food and has too much plastic surgery.

Altitude and technology will not only cause goalkeepers stress, but also make balls carry too far on crosses, causing some headers to be missed by two feet, said Marcus Hahnemann, a reserve keeper for the United States and a man not given to understatement.

“Technology is not everything,” Hahnemann said Thursday. “Scientists came up with the atom bomb; it doesn’t mean we should have invented it.”

Adidas has christened the World Cup ball Jabulani, which is apparently Zulu for “offends goalkeepers.”

Not really. The name actually means “to celebrate.” But it has been lost in translation for the guys between the posts.

I seem to recall plenty of disdain being heaped on the official ball every World Cup since I started paying attention. Watch for this article to be re-run in four years’ time, with new names appearing in the fill-in-the-blank spots.

June 1, 2010

This is a solution in search of a problem

Filed under: Cancon, Soccer — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 12:09

The wise heads at the Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer league have decided to stamp out all the evils of competitive soccer once and for all:

In yet another nod to the protection of fledgling self-esteem, an Ottawa children’s soccer league has introduced a rule that says any team that wins a game by more than five points will lose by default.

The Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer league’s newly implemented edict is intended to dissuade a runaway game in favour of sportsmanship. The rule replaces its five-point mercy regulation, whereby any points scored beyond a five-point differential would not be registered.

Kevin Cappon said he first heard about the rule on May 20 — right after he had scored his team’s last allowable goal. His team then tossed the ball around for fear of losing the game.

I coached children’s soccer for more than a decade, and my teams sometimes lost by more than five goals (and occasionally won by similar margins). That’s inevitable, given that recreational soccer teams are not balanced for skill or experience, just for age level. Sometimes random selection puts together three or four very good players (who are not, for whatever reason, playing competitive soccer). Sometimes, otherwise good teams have bad games.

As a parent and as a coach, you know within the first few minutes of a game whether the kids are “in to the game” or if they’re just counting the minutes ’til the final whistle. There’s one thing worse than being beaten by an opposing team by lots of goals . . . and that’s the other team obviously, ostentatiously, not scoring the goals.

I’ve only had it happen against my team once, about six years ago. We were the last-place team in the division and we were facing one of the top teams. It was late in the season, and my kids didn’t have much hope to win, but were still trying. The other team had a higher proportion of bigger players, in addition to having a few really good players. We were down six goals by halftime, and although we were still playing hard, they were out-playing us.

If the second half had gone the same way, it would have been just a bad loss. But the other coach decided to “take it easy” on my team, and loudly and repeatedly directed his players not to score. My players were humiliated for another 30 minutes of “play”. I was surprised we didn’t have fights breaking out on the field: it was that bad.

Next week, I barely had enough players show up for the game. Ironically, even with the few we had, we won that game handily.

Update, June 11: The league has decided to modify the rule:

In response to the feedback, the league decided to get rid of the rule, which will be rescinded starting June 14.

In its place, a new mercy rule will be instituted under which a game will be called once one team has a lead of eight goals. Whichever team is ahead at that time will be credited with the win, Cale said. Teams can then play on if they wish for player development, wrote Cale.

March 11, 2010

Reducing the over-mighty penalty kick in soccer

Filed under: Soccer — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 13:08

Andrew Potter makes a strong case for FIFA to address the disproportional effect of awarded penalty kicks in soccer games:

. . . the real problem is that it is the penalty shot itself which is unsportsmanlike. With a success rate of 85% it is already such a gross mismatch in the striker’s favour that I don’t see how much additional advantage is gained by permitting a bit of a fake-out; if anything, I suspect we’ll see the occasional embarrassment when a shot-taker pauses over the ball only to see the goalie standing calmly, waiting for a week one-legged kick from an out-faked faker.

But otherwise, I expect the penalty shot to continue to wreak havoc with the tactical nature of the game, for two reasons. First, because goals are so hard to come by in regular play, second, because a penalty shot has such a high success rate, and third, because one must be awarded for any direct foul inside the 18-yard box ­ the referee has no discretion here ­ it makes diving (or “simulation”) one of the most effective moves in the attacker’s arsenal. It doesn’t matter if you were hauled down from behind at the 8 yard line while on a breakway, or tripped by accident in the far corner of the box with your back to the goal, both get you a trip to the twelve-yard line for a pk, and what is pretty close to a free goal.

I can think of fewer rules in sport that have such an overwhelming impact on how the game is played, and play such a decisive role in determining the outcome of so many games. As such, I find the penalty kick in soccer one of the most unsportsmanlike elements in any sport. But maybe this is because I misunderstand the intent of the rule.

Back when I was still coaching youth soccer, we didn’t have too much trouble with penalties, but only because our games were played with only a single official. As soon as you add in a couple of assistant referees, the number of penalties awarded seemed to go up . . . because there was more chance that infractions would be noticed with the extra eyes on the game (and probably also a greater chance that diving would successfully draw a penalty, too).

December 26, 2009

QotD: Soccer

Filed under: Britain, Quotations, Soccer — Tags: — Nicholas @ 00:10

Over the years I have argued that football is a stupid game in which 22 overpaid nancy boys with idiotic hair run around a field attempting to kick an inflated sheep’s pancreas into some netting while an audience of several thousand van drivers beat one another over the head with bottles and chairs.

Nor could I understand how someone from Tooting could possibly support, say, Manchester United, a team sponsored by those hateful bastards at AIG and made up of players from Portugal, France, Holland and, in the case of Wayne Rooney, Walt Disney. Where’s the connection? What’s the point?

I have also suggested that it’s preposterous to have football stadiums in the middle of cities. Why should anyone be delayed by match traffic just so a handful of thugs can watch a Brazilian man falling over?

And as for those people who can’t cope if their team loses. Give me strength. If you get all teary-eyed just because someone from Latvia, playing in a town you’ve never been to, for an Arab you’ve never met, against some Italians you hate for no reason, has missed a penalty, how are you going to manage when you are diagnosed with cancer?

Jeremy Clarkson, “You’re a bunch of overpaid nancies – and I love you: Why should anyone be held up by match traffic just so some thugs can watch a Brazilian man falling over?”, Times Online, 2009-03-22

November 20, 2009

“Yes, I handled the ball but I’m not the referee”

Filed under: France, Soccer — Tags: — Nicholas @ 08:36

Thierry Henry goes Diego Maradona one better:

The French national team advances to the World Cup on the basis of a “hand of God” assist.

October 28, 2009

Toronto FC also looking for new head coach

Filed under: Cancon, Soccer — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 08:33

Hmmm. First Middlesbrough fires their top guy, now Toronto FC does the same. Of course, the situation is different, in that Middlesbrough is still in the top few spots of the Championship, while Toronto just got blown out 5-0 and missed out on the playoffs again. This is from a letter Mo Johnson sent out to the Toronto FC fan base yesterday:

I share your disappointment that we missed the Playoffs and I am still devastated by the manner of the performance at New York on Saturday. In all my years as a player and manager I never have seen a meltdown like this. I can tell you we are only one point away from the Playoffs but in the context of a 5-0 blowout? That doesn’t give me any comfort.

This morning I announced that Chris Cummins will be leaving the club and the search will start right away for a new head coach. I want to thank Chris for the job he has done since taking over as interim head coach at the end of April. When John Carver went it left us with a hole and I think under the circumstances Chris did a hell of a job. I think he is going to be a very good coach one day but I’ve known for a couple of weeks now that he wanted to be closer to home. We want all of the other members of our coaching staff to stay.

October 21, 2009

Soccer stupidities, explained

Filed under: Britain, Economics, Soccer — Tags: — Nicholas @ 12:21

David Goldblatt reviews Why England Lose and Other Curious Football Phenomena Explained, by Simon Kuper and Stefan Szymanski:

“Anyone who spends any time inside football soon discovers that just as oil is part of the oil business, stupidity is part of the football business.” Well, football may not spend billions of pounds actively seeking out stupidity, piping, refining and selling it, but as Simon Kuper and Stefan Szymanski demonstrate over and over again in Why England Lose, it is certainly swimming in the stuff.

[. . .]

Economic rationality is just not football’s strong suit, and nor is emotional intelligence. As Kuper and Syzmanski demonstrate, the transfer market is full of obvious irrationalities. For example, scouts over-report blonde players — who stand out and stick in the mind — irrespective of their actual performance. Despite all evidence to the contrary, clubs also overpay for teenagers, for players of fashionable nationalities and for recent stars of international tournaments without properly assessing their likely course of development, their suitability for the football culture they are moving to or the latter’s real long-term track record and value.

In fact, almost every mainstream football homily is revealed by the authors of this book to be hokum: untested, prejudiced myth spawned by an unreflective, anti-educational and above all closed culture. What other business would allow a single person to take all the key purchasing and personnel decisions unexamined and untested by the rest of the company? They certainly don’t do that at Shell, but then Shell makes money while football and its megalomaniac managers pour it down the drain.

Southgate out at Middlesbrough

Filed under: Britain, Soccer — Tags: — Nicholas @ 09:29

It’s an unusual situation to dismiss a manager when you’re just a few points out of first place, even more so right after a home win, but that’s what’s happened to Gareth Southgate:

Middlesbrough boss Gareth Southgate has been sacked – despite the Championship club being fourth in the table and bidding for promotion.

His dismissal came in the early hours of Wednesday, shortly after a 2-0 home win over Derby.

The 39-year-old was appointed in June 2006 but last season Boro were relegated from the Premier League.

Chairman Steve Gibson said: “This has been the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make in football.”

BBC Sport understands Gordon Strachan and Nigel Pearson are among the front-runners to take over at the Riverside, and an appointment could be made as soon as Thursday.

I’d expected Gibson to sack Southgate at the end of last season, where Middlesbrough dropped from the Premier League, but when he retained Southgate after that, I figured he was safe for the year . . . and if they went right back up to the Premier Leage in that year, he’d be safe for a few years yet.

September 19, 2009

Light blogging today

Filed under: Soccer — Tags: — Nicholas @ 15:14

Just got back from the first half of Victor’s soccer tournament weekend. His team’s record so far, a win (4-0), a tie (2-2), and a loss (2-1). They’ll need to win both of tomorrow’s games to have a chance to be in the final.

Update, 20 September: T’was not to be. Another 2-1 loss followed by a very evenly matched 0-0 tie. Due to some upsets on Saturday, both teams in the second game had the chance to advance to the final . . . with a win. The tie knocked both teams out.

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