In The Spectator, Stephen Daisley provides a great crib sheet to get you up to speed with the new Corbynista words and phrases you need to understand to stay relevant in the Labour Party:
Are you considering a career in Labour politics but fear you may be left behind amid all the exciting changes the party is undergoing?
Maybe you want to be a part of the Jez revolution but can’t get your head around the ever-developing terminology.
Perhaps you are eyeing up a safe seat but aren’t sure which paramilitary cell’s endorsement would most impress the selection panel.
Help is at hand with this guide that takes you through the key terms of Corbynspeak.
Centrist dad: Anyone old enough to remember when Labour was a political party and not an evangelical tent ministry. Owns more than one pair of chinos and only uses Facebook to post ‘FFS’ with links to Owen Jones pieces. Centrist dads just don’t get how politics works in 2017. It’s all about getting people excited by promising to bring change and give them free stuff. That’s never happened before.
Jeremy Corbyn: Substitute father figure for people whose centrist dad didn’t give them enough hugs growing up.
Oh Jeremy Corbyn: The Red Flag for people who don’t know the words to the Red Flag because they only joined the Labour Party five minutes ago.
[…]
Misogyny: It has no place in the Labour Party, save the narrow exception of every woman who has ever disagreed with Jeremy ever.
Slug: Tory. The sort of heartless, racist scum who still hasn’t been convinced to vote for us.
Melt: Blairite. Worse than slugs.
[…]
Racism: Vile prejudice. Totally unacceptable. Victims’ concerns must be taken seriously.
Anti-Semitism: Well, let’s not be hasty. Probably a smear. Victims must be in league with Laura Kuenssberg.
Neoliberalism: The economic arrangements responsible for the laptops, tablets and smartphones Corbynistas use to post memes of Jezza. Also, evil.
Both sides: To blame for terrorism.
Hamas: Not to blame for terrorism.
IRA: They were like Momentum in Ireland or something, right? Pals with Jez. Slugs and melts don’t like them for some reason.
Brexit: A disastrous/progressive/uncertain move, fuelled by xenophobia/working-class discontent/many factors, and is sure to isolate the UK/break up the Brussels capitalist cartel/have an unknown impact. As such, Labour must oppose/lead/express no opinion on the matter. N.B. The party line changes from time to time, so best to avoid taking a clear position. Alternatively, take all three positions at once. Works for Keir Starmer.
