Quotulatiousness

June 28, 2011

Sony has a long track record of ham-fisted customer relations

Filed under: Gaming, Media, Technology — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 12:06

Jon, my former virtual landlord, sent me this link all about just how insanely bad MMORPG players can be in their chosen game environments. I found this entry particularly interesting, as it isn’t the gamers being dicks . . . it’s the company running the game:

You’re playing a game where you kill things. What do you do with a giant dragon that kills things, can only be woken by killing four smaller dragons first and is now trying to kill you? If you said “kill it” you just surprised the hell out of Sony who, to be fair, have never claimed they weren’t wearing human-skin suits while studying these Earth things called “game-ers.” Kerafyrm the Sleeper was EverQuest‘s dragon-equivalent of Sauron, if Sauron drove the Death Star to work. It had a hundred times as many hit points as any other boss, was immune to most damage, had two spammable instant-kill attacks because screw you and didn’t work right because it was online and programmed by Sony.

It forced the three top guilds to co-operate, which makes herding cats look easier than getting Bollywood extras to move in step. It was Sesame Street by way of Lord of the Rings, specifically the end of the third movie, since for over three hours, 180 players turned themselves into a Sisyphean Zerg horde. Resurrecting each other faster than the monster could kill them, they put in Herculean feats of teamwork that cruelly mocked the concept of “fun.” They fought like warrior poets, they fought like Scotsmen and eventually ground the boss down to 22 percent health — at which point Sony turned the whole thing off and acted like it was the players’ fault. So if you’re wondering how they can keep the PlayStation Network off for a week and act like that’s fine, it’s because they’ve been practicing.

They took their ball and went home, where their ball was a giant harbinger of doom and the focus of the entire game.

Showing less regard for their users than an Iron Maiden, they released a rubbish (and later disproven) excuse about how Kerafyrm’s programming had been distracted by an NPC — and you’ll notice how even their own excuse is based on their incompetence — before simply apologizing and resetting the entire event, telling players to try again. It was like Lucy tricking Charlie Brown if Lucy was making millions of dollars making Charlie Brown miss, and if it took three man-weeks to run up to the football.

January 4, 2010

Sony’s latest consumer mis-step

Filed under: Technology — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 08:44

Dark Water Muse treated himself to a new bit of electronic kit over the holidays, a Sony Reader Touch. He wasn’t best pleased by the purchase:

The Sony Reader is an all but useless device, certainly at its current price point. Especially if you already happen to own a portable electronic device capable of rendering common document and media file formats — got a smart phone? Got a netbook or laptop? Then you’re already living the dream that is merely Sony’s Reader Touch nightmare.

DWM gives the Sony Reader Touch negative 1 out of 10. Truly impressively bad, particularly when measured on a scale of +1 to +10.

How does DWM compute negative one? Read on.

Only the newly arrived on H. G. Wells’ Time Machine could find utility in a Sony Reader. Or if you’re too proud to admit you fucked up by buying one in the first place and prefer to go to your grave, Sony Reader over your heart (trust DWM when he says, any friends you might still have after becoming a Sony Reader Touch owner, or surviving relatives, want to see it buried with you too), rather than get your money back.

DWM returned his Sony Reader Touch after making extra special efforts to try and modify his relationship to reading text with it. He wanted the Sony Reader to work. He was willing to tolerate “a little” deficit in the reading experience, if only to avoid having to slaughter one more tree to feed his hunger for crime novels. But, feeling disappointed and defeated, DWM sent his Sony Reader Touch back to from whence it had come (extruded from that great product anus behind so many retail consumer products).

I’ve got a couple of dozen books on my iPhone, but I consider them to be “emergency” reading . . . for those times when I don’t have internet access. It’s great that the iPhone can work as a small ebook display, but the key word here is “small”.

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