On the social media site formerly known as Twitter, Devon Eriksen floats a new business model to take advantage of an unsatisfied market demand. It’s pretty radical:
Years ago, when Jussie Smollet was assaulted by two deep-southern KKK members who happened to be wandering around Chicago in a blizzard with some rope and bleach — you know, just in case — I had an idea.
I speculated that the supply of racism couldn’t keep up with demand, and the price of racism would rise steeply, leading to a surge in black-market counterfeit racism to fill the market gap.
At least until more genuine racism could be manufactured.
Now, the moment has arrived, and lefties, desperate for a new source of racism, have started advertising their willingness to purchase it.
Well, never let it be said that Devon Eriksen doesn’t give the people want they want.
For $1000, I will call you a racial slur on twitter.
For $2000, I will call you a racial slur in person, in front of an audience. (You must pay for all travel arrangements and sign a waiver assuming civil and criminal liability for any violent consequences.)
For $10,000, I will design a custom racist rant wherein I abuse you in public with all sorts of controversial and racially charged language.
I also offer special deals on sexism, and can provide bigotry against homosexuals, Muslims, trannies, Jews, and people who voluntarily live in Luxembourg. I can also do immigration status and intelligence level.
I also offer fat jokes, which I outsource to a team of bodybuilders, fitness models, and personal trainers. Former Olympians also available at a premium.
I don’t anti-Christian. Can’t touch it. Market’s flooded. Maybe in a few years when they start trying to outlaw oral sex or something.
To be honest, this is a bit of side hustle right now, I still pay the bills with writing fiction… and occasionally satire.
But I look forward to the day when I can go full time and proudly hang a shingle over my office door:
Devon Eriksen: Professional Racist.
Update, 3 November: Welcome, Instapundit readers! Please do have a look around at some of my other posts you may find of interest. I send out a daily summary of posts here through my Substack – https://substack.com/@nicholasrusson that you can subscribe to if you’d like to be informed of new posts in the future.
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