A recent post at According to Hoyt:
I did not ask to be born a woman. At least presumably I didn’t ask. If we look too closely at this, we get into all sorts of things about pre-existing souls, reincarnation and what not. Neither fit into my system of belief, but neither am I absolutely sure of what happens after you die, or before you’re born, because how can I be? Eventually I’ll find the one out, the other also if my system is wrong. And in either case it matters very little to here and now.
However, I do know being born a woman wasn’t some sort of achievement, like I just won a race and deserve a medal. I am a woman, and that’s fine. My little tomboy self didn’t always think it was a good idea, this being a woman thing, but I’ve come to enjoy it. I can still slay dragons and drink but I can also wear bitching shoes while doing it, and no one looks at me sideways.
Or to put things another way: I have my limitations, my sticking points, and things I do that make people look at me oddly. The limitations and sticking points have bloody nothing to do with being female. Even in Portugal, where I was presumed to be dumber than most males (it’s a cultural thing) I never found that to be an impairment, because I wasn’t and I’d eventually show it. Also, because I’m that kind of person, I enjoyed the look of shock on their faces when I showed it. The sticking points: I’ve gone to pot, physically for various reasons, mostly having to do with hypothyroidism and asthma, and true, I was never as strong as most males. So in a test of strength, I’d have failed. But I was quite strong enough when I was young to carry furniture as heavy as the movers did, and for as long (I never had to tell my husband “I can’t lift this” until my fifties. And in a fight I just had to be twice as low-minded and nasty. Because a fight isn’t won on a straight up context of strength.
I never found being a woman an impairment. I did take shameless advantage of it a time or twenty. It’s easier to get out of a ticket, if you act the ditsy woman. It’s easier to diffuse a situation that for a male would end in a fight by smiling and talking in a “little girl lost” voice.
Do I feel bad about using the advantage that the evolutionary triggers against hurting females gives me? Oh, please. You are born who you are born. You use ALL your weapons. All of them. Why not? There are disadvantages that come with your advantages. There are disadvantages for everyone. You use all your advantages. They’re yours. Why wouldn’t you use them?
