After every Vikings game, head coach Mike Zimmer speaks to the local media. To some, his words are merely conveying ordinary common wisdom, but for the Daily Norseman‘s Ted Glover, Zim Tzu speaks in a secret code that only he can translate for the benefit of the unwashed masses:
When you’re a warrior poet, your roots and where you come from, in a large part, defines who you are and they help set you on your path. But once you’re on your path, there’s no looking back. People may have helped you on your way, and you’re forever grateful and you pay it forward when you can. But once you’ve struck out in search of your destiny, the journey is yours. Where it goes and how it ends is on you. You’re not a heartless bastard, though, and sentimentality has its place. Remembering where you’re from is important; it helps ground you and keeps you focused.
As you continue on your journey, sometimes you come across people who were once friends that are now, by time and circumstance, a foe intent on striking you down. Altering your path, maybe even denying you of your destiny. And at that moment, sentimentality has no place. The fact that former friends, or mentors, have chosen against you is a ‘them’ problem, not a ‘you’ problem, and at the moment of truth, you’ll do what needs to be done.
Because you are Zim Tzu, The King In The North, Declawer Of The Feline, Razer of Atlanta, Slayer Of The Jungle King, Silencer Of The Lambs, Pillager Of Capitals, Conquerer of The Brown Islands, Murderer of Crows, Melter Of Cheese, Hunter Of Bears, He Who Makes Pirates Walk The Plank, Impaler Of The Fleur De Lis, First Of His Name, High Septon Of Mankato, Lord Commander Of The Iron Range And Twin Cities, and Master Of Fortress Winter Park.
And once you have vanquished your former friend to the dustbin of history, you want to tell the Great Unwashed how awesome it was, but you also feel the need to temper your words. There’s a sense of satisfaction in striking down a former mentor or teacher, but you don’t want to overtly convey that. You want to be more subdued, sober.
And that’s the role we fill.* We take the words of Zim Tzu, remove all the fluff,** and give you the true essence of what the meaning is. The Yang to the Yin, if you will.***
*I’m a drunkard more than I’m sober and subdued, so I am unable to fill any role responsibly if we’re being honest here.
**By that I mean I read his actual quotes from his day-after-the-game press conference, and make up an enormous amount of bullshit for a cheap laugh.
***I’m quite certain that is nothing close to what Yin and Yang mean.
