It has been said that alcohol is a good servant and a bad master. Nice try. The plain fact is that it makes other people, and indeed life itself, a good deal less boring. Kingsley grasped this essential fact very early in life, and (so to speak) never let go of the insight. This does not mean that there are not wine bores, single-malt bores, and people who become even more boring when they themselves have a tipple. You will meet them, and learn how to recognize them (and also how to deal with them) in these pages.
In my opinion Kingers — which I was allowed to call him — was himself a very slight cocktail bore. Or, at least, he had to affect to be such in order to bang out a regular column on drinks for the pages of a magazine aimed at the male population. In “real” life, Amis was a no-nonsense drinker with little inclination to waste a good barman’s time with fussy instructions. However, there was an exception which I think I can diagnose in retrospect, and it is related to his strong admiration for the novels of Ian Fleming. What is James Bond really doing when he specifies the kind of martini he wants and how he wants it? He is telling the barman (or bartender if you must) that he knows what he is talking about and is not to be messed around. I learned the same lesson when I was a restaurant and bar critic for the City Paper in Washington, D.C. Having long been annoyed by people who called knowingly for “a Dewar’s and water” instead of a scotch and water, I decided to ask a trusted barman what I got if I didn’t specify a brand or label. The answer was a confidential jerk of the thumb in the direction of a villainous-looking tartan-shaded jug under the bar. The situation was even grimmer with gin and vodka and became abysmal with “white wine”, a thing I still can’t bear to hear being ordered. If you don’t state a clear preference, then your drink is like a bad game of poker or a hasty drug transaction: It is whatever the dealer says it is. Please do try to bear this in mind.
Christopher Hitchens, Introduction to Everyday Drinking: The Distilled Kingsley Amis, 2008.
December 11, 2011
QotD: Alcohol
NFL week 14 predictions
Thursday’s game was a bit disappointing (for me), as Pittsburgh didn’t cover the spread (bad for my AoSHQ pool) but they did win (which is good for straight-up):
√ @Pittsburgh 14 Cleveland 3
Remaining games:
@Cincinnati vs Houston (3.0) Sun 1:00
@Detroit vs Minnesota (0) Sun 1:00
New Orleans vs @Tennessee (3.5) Sun 1:00
@Miami vs Philadelphia (0) Sun 1:00
@New York (NYJ) vs Kansas City (9.0) Sun 1:00
New England vs @Washington (8.0) Sun 1:00
Atlanta vs @Carolina (2.5) Sun 1:00
@Jacksonville vs Tampa Bay (0) Sun 1:00
@Baltimore vs Indianapolis (16.5) Sun 1:00
@Denver vs Chicago (3.5) Sun 4:05
San Francisco vs @Arizona (4.0) Sun 4:05
@Green Bay vs Oakland (11.0) Sun 4:15
@San Diego vs Buffalo (7.0) Sun 4:15
@Dallas vs New York (NYG) (3.5) Sun 8:20
@Seattle vs St. Louis (0) Mon 8:30
Last week: 10-6 (8-8 against the spread)
Season to date 117-76
