One of those common jokes you hear from people whenever two teams they don’t like are playing each other is “rooting for the meteor”.
So far, the meteor has a horrible track record. It showed up once in the clutch for mammals millions of years ago and that’s about it. We need to stop rooting for the meteor. If the meteor even does show up it’ll likely cause all kinds of problems. We need to start rooting for more sensible and practical ways to end a game with both teams losing. Options like:
- Root for Bane
- Root for the large sinkhole
- Root for the tornado
- Root for the alien abduction
- Root for spontaneous player combustion
- Root for lightning
- Root for the ball ending up being a bomb
- Root for the dune sandworm
- Root for the unexpected plane crash. We almost got this one once!
- Root for the Killdozer to show up
- Root for the nerve gas attack
- Root for the Brown Note
- Root for spiked Gatorade that gets everybody sick
- Root for stadium structural failure
- Root for both teams to become friends and refuse to fight
- Root for acid rain
- Root for the big squid from the end of the original Watchmen comic
- Root for the suitcase nuke
- Root for everyone to suddenly become naked, a state of being it is hard to play football in
- Root for a dragon to show up. Any dragon. Pick your favorite. I choose Volvagia from Ocarina of Time
- Root for the solar flare
- Root for the uprising of the skeleton army
Dave Rappoccio, “Rooting for the Meteor Only Worked Once”, The Draw Play, 2024-06-24.
September 25, 2024
QotD: “Rooting for the meteor”
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