It’s been a disappointing start to the NFL season for Minnesota Vikings fans, with a merely adequate performance against the 49ers and a tie at Green Bay followed by the “what the hell just happened” home loss against Buffalo and then a short week to travel to L.A. to fall just short against the Rams. One of the team’s emotional leaders is away from the field dealing with mental health concerns, second-year running back Dalvin Cook still isn’t healthy enough to play a full game, and last year’s number one defensive unit is playing like they’re not really sure what they’re supposed to be doing on the field. If you go full-on pessimist, as Dan Persons writes, the season might as well be over:
OK, I’ll admit it. Wandering around the interwebz these days, it feels like the Minnesota Vikings’ season is already over. The team went in to Los Angeles on a short week, after a total breakdown against the Buffalo Bills, without their best defensive player, against a Super Bowl favorite, gave up roughly six thousand yards of offense to a team that featured both the reigning offensive player of the year and coach of the year, and had a game-clinching forced fumble caused by the reigning defensive player of the year. The backfield rushed thirteen times, for twenty six yards. The offensive line gave up four sacks and at least seven hundred and fifty two hurries. Trae Waynes left with a concussion (it could have been PTSD, for all we know). Kevin McDermott can only count to 9 ½ after losing the tip of his finger. Hell, even the refs got involved in the curbstomping, pulling Adam Thielen out of the game at a critical moment and picking up an “illegal block in the back” flag that totally wasn’t an illegal block in the back. Well, that’s what they told us, at least.
Yup. It’s over. O-V-E-R, over.
[…]
“Dude. Kirk is nice. I mean, really nice. But what good is he gonna do us when he’s running for his life all damn game long? Our offensive line has the pass protection skills of an elderly woman, Treadwell can’t catch, and Cook can’t stay healthy. This team is going to turn into Sam-Bradford-Vikings, and we’ll see an endless supply of three yard checkdowns.”
[…]
“If not for Danielle Hunter and Harrison Smith, this could be the worst defense in the league right now. Linval Joseph can’t generate a push. Anthony Barr is playing at half speed and out of position. Xavier Rhodes needs the boxing gloves again. Trae Waynes is… yechhh… he’s just awful. And he’s concussed. I’d rather see a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese on the field right now than Mac Alexander. Sendejo refuses to tackle unless he can lead with his helmet. And Mike Zimmer isn’t doing a damn thing about it! This defense sucks, they forgot how and when to use the double A-Gap blitz. They play off when they should press, they press when they should play off. They’re in zone coverage when they should be in man. It’s a mess, and no amount of coaching is going to change that fact. Nearly 500 yards passing for Jared Goff? Really?!?”
[…]
“They allow the Packers to block a punt deep in our own end, then give them the game by missing field goals from every angle and distance. And did you hear that loud chime in the first quarter of Thursday’s game against Los Angeles? That was the sound of another shankopotamus hitting the upright. Jeezus! When did being the Vikings kicker mean you automatically get the yips? Our long snapper had a mid-game fingerectomy, our punter is seriously giving me thoughts about trading up to draft one next April, and for the love of everything good, can we please stop returning kickoffs to the fifteen yard line? Like, now?”
[…]
“Sixty is the new Forty? Tell that to Mike Zimmer, who just got waxed against the Rams and their thirty-two year-old head coach, Sean McVay. At least bacon-neck NORV! had the good sense to quit – for a while. Zimmer’s famed Double-A-gap defense had the lid pulled off of it starting last season. The Saints, the Eagles, the Packers, the Rams. All of them figured it out. I mean, the Tampa-2 defense was all the rage at one time, too – until someone figured out how to beat it. Now, it sits on a shelf somewhere in Tony Dungy’s study, next to a globe that still has countries like Yugoslavia and East Germany on it. Zimmer needs to come up with a new plan. Maybe take a look at what’s going on in Chicago, for instance. And, while we’re at it, can we make sure that Terrance Newman isn’t telling Xavier Rhodes to do the opposite of what Zim wants him to do?”
Okay, I admit I’m just pulling out the specific “Burn it all down” and skipping the “Purple Kool Aid” and “Optipessimistic” views. I’m feeling closer to the negatives than the positives about the team right now.
