Carolyn Evans-Hammond on the fastest way to become the person everyone else in the restaurant (or at the party) just despises:
- When tasting a wine over $50, always use the phrase, “excellent value.”
- Make sexual allusions to describe wine, especially when talking to a member of the opposite gender. Tight, muscular, voluptuous, hard, long. You get the idea. Best done while making soft moans before and after the sentiment.
- When at a restaurant, grill the wine waiter about the wines. Ask how a certain bottle is “showing”, whether it’s fruit forward or restrained, and whether the Champagne on the list has undergone malolactic fermentation.
- Bring a bottle of wine to a party already decanted, and tell the host you’d like it poured at a precise temperature.
