At the Daily Norseman Ted Glover has a mission. Part of it is to cover the Vikings on and off the field, during the pre-season, regular season, and (when the stars align correctly) the playoffs. He has another task during the off-season that may be his most critical contribution to Vikings fans: he translates the specially encoded verbiage of Vikings General Manager Rick Spielman into everyday English:
Rick Spielman spoke to the press up at Arctic Blast, and, as is my civic duty, I must break down Rickspeak and translate. Thanks to Master Tesfatsion of the Strib on getting some good notes.
And yes, I just wanted to write ‘Master Tesfatsion’, because I still maintain that’s the coolest beat writer name in Vikings history. Anyway, on to Rickspeak.
In short Rickspeak is GM Rick Spielman showing us his black belt in verbal judo, and it’s a nuanced way of speaking. You have to read between the lines to really get at what Spielman means, and that’s where I come in — I do the between the lines reading** to let you know what Spielman actually meant.***
**Obviously, that’s impossible. I don’t know how to read.
***Again, impossible. If I could read minds I would use it to take over the world, much like an evil James Bond villain. And no one wants that.
Here are a few key bits of translation:
Rick Said: …the team’s annual goal is to compile at least 10 draft selections. “We have eight right now and a lot of that [movement] doesn’t happen until you’re on the clock,” Spielman said on Saturday during the 19th annual Arctic Blast snowmobile rally to benefit the Vikings Children’s Fund. “Heck, last year they pulled me out of a press conference to go get [Cordarrelle] Patterson because you never know. But I really, really think we’re going to do a lot of movement in the draft.”
Rick Meant: 10 picks is cool, and nothing really starts moving until draft day, but I’m stirring the pot just by opening my grocery hole to the press. When I have dopes like Dan Snyder and whoever is running that sitcom we call the Cleveland Browns, I’m pretty sure I can talk them into anything. Remember trading back one spot the year everyone knew we were going to draft Matt Kalil…and still drafting Matt Kalil? Cleveland…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Rick Said: Spielman thinks the Vikings have a lot of flexibility with the eighth overall pick and plans to be aggressive in the draft with the idea of trading down for more picks, or up for a certain player.
“Everything is a possibility; we’re in February,” Spielman said.
Rick Meant: I might move up. I might move down. I might move laterally. You say to yourself that’s impossible because you can’t move laterally, but when we’re sitting with three number 8 picks in the first round, your mind is going to be blown. AND YOU WILL WORSHIP THE GROUND THAT I WALK ON!
