Having watched the Thursday night game from opening kickoff to final interception, all I can do is find comfort in ridicule and abusing our coaching staff and (some) players until next time they start a game. Ted Glover at the Daily Norseman seems to feel the same way:
Let’s Start With The Run Defense. Okay, the Vikings used to let journeymen quarterbacks morph into Joe Montana for a day, and now,they’ve added journeyman running backs. Last week, LaRod Stephens-Howling ran like LaWalter Payton, and last night rookie Doug Martin ran like Curtis Martin. Do you guys remember when running against the Vikings defense was as difficult as string theory physics? Yeah, me too.
[. . .]
Every Receiver Not Named Percy Harvin: Michael Jenkins, I love you. As an OSU fan, I will be forever grateful for 4th and 14 and Holy Buckeye. You had almost 80 yards receiving last night, but all but maybe 10 of those yards were in garbage time. Jerome Simpson, you were signed to stretch the field. You haven’t, and you’re starting to give me a Bernard Berrian type vibe. Since you’re new to Minnesota, let me assure you that you DO NOT WANT TO BE COMPARED TO HIM EVER. And wherefore art thou, Kyle Rudolph? You could star in a movie called ‘Dude, Who Stole The Tight End?’ As my drill instructor once told me — unfuck your shit.
The Offensive Line: You guys…you friggin’ guys. Although I applaud your unconventional ‘Olly Olly Oxenfree’ blocking scheme, it tends to give your quarterback no time to set up in the pocket, even though it is entertaining to see Ponder run for his life, much like a helpless Christian in the Roman Coliseum when they loosed the lions. Christian…Ponder…lions…Roman Coliseum…did you see what I did there? DID YOU SEE THAT???
