Dominic Connor reads a lot of resumés from recent graduates. He’s offering some simple tips to help yours avoid the short trip to the shredder:
Does Ferrari say it makes “reelly good carrrs”? No, it bloody doesn’t. So why do you spell the name of your degree subject wrong? Why do you use slightly different fonts in each paragraph that screw with my ancient pimp’s eyes?
Why in the name of God do you think I care that you did OS/2 v1.1 in 1989? You may have just finished a PhD in Physics from Cambridge or Stanford, but your astonishing lack of any clue is demonstrated by the fact that more space is given over to the summer job you had in Starbucks than describing why you might actually be of use to the investment banks I recruit for.
Sometimes, just to wind me up, you send me a blue CV. Yes, black text on a blue background. Not only does the motivation for this leave me dumbfounded but when I blogged that this was silly several people somehow interpreted “please don’t send blue CVs” as “please do”.
Why do you send your CV to me with no mobile phone number? Do you not have one? Nor a landline? Why do you think your religion means you are a great match for my requirement of hardcore C++ skills?
I already know you want to leave your current job or else we wouldn’t be talking. So why are you listing the defects of your employer? Do you think it makes you look good?
Why did you send the file as a Word document? That may not sound too bad until you realise that every damned word you spelled wrong is underlined in red on my screen and your grammar is also ridiculed by a £70 bit of software that is apparently smarter than you.
I’ve been on the hiring side of the desk a few times, and I’ve seen almost all of these errors on resumés. I had one candidate who must have “borrowed” someone else’s resumé and just changed the name and address, because he knew far too little about the jobs he was supposed to have held. I’ve also had a candidate arrive for her interview on the way back from the gym, still in her gym clothes (not having showered). But my favourite interview subject was one who presented me with samples of his work . . . that I had written for a previous employer.
