Quotulatiousness

August 1, 2011

Since 1992, the Vikings have made AARP stand for “Always Available to Retire in Purple”

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 11:01

I think it’s safe to say that Jim Souhan has missed football during the lockout. Here he is, discussing the Vikings’ long-term habit of bringing in older quarterbacks:

Our local football franchise has become the Mystic Lake Casino of NFL quarterbacks, bringing you the biggest names of the ’80s and ’90s today.

While other franchises roll the dice on unproven talent, the Vikings would rather comfort you with the football equivalents of Stevie Nicks and Foreigner.

[. . .]

Since Denny Green wrongly benched promising young Rich Gannon in the middle of the 1992 season in favor of the always regrettable Sean Salisbury, the Vikings have made AARP stand for “Always Available to Retire in Purple.”

[. . .]

Randall Cunningham won the Player of the Year that season, taking the Vikings to the NFC title game. That’s when he should have retired, again.

In ’99, Cunningham quickly lost his job to Jeff George, who coined the term “Slappy” for backstabbing backups, rallied the Vikings to the playoffs, and then was banished by Green.

In 2000, For the second time since Gannon’s benching, the Vikings gave the starting job to one of their own, Daunte Culpepper, who took them to the NFC title game and might have won it if not for the New York Giants stealing the Vikings’ plays and asking nicely that Wasswa Serwanga not cover their receivers.

[. . .]

Brad Johnson bridged the gap to another Vikings draftee, Tarvaris Jackson, who, understanding the Vikings’ role as a nursing home for decrepit quarterbacks, helped find playing time for Kelly Holcombe, Brooks Bollinger, Gus Frerotte (again!), and finally Lord Favre, King Of The Undead.

Since Brett Favre started his first game, Green Bay has used three starting quarterbacks (including Matt Flynn’s cameo). The Vikings have used 16, with the likes of Johnson and Frerotte serving multiple tours.

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