{"id":97283,"date":"2025-12-23T02:00:19","date_gmt":"2025-12-23T07:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=97283"},"modified":"2025-08-21T19:59:34","modified_gmt":"2025-08-21T23:59:34","slug":"christmas-cookies-you-suck-at-cooking-episode-120","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2025\/12\/23\/christmas-cookies-you-suck-at-cooking-episode-120\/","title":{"rendered":"Christmas Cookies &#8211; You Suck at Cooking (episode 120)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"center\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"854\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/3wM_ksI4WEg?si=NoGPXcSYxVFgkCwo\" title=\"YouTube video player\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>You Suck At Cooking<\/strong><br \/>\nPublished 23 Dec 2020<\/p>\n<p>This sugar cookie recipe is super easy, just like things that aren&#8217;t difficult. They also have something in common with Christmas cookies: you can find them both on planet earth, which is the fifth largest planet in our solar system. <\/p>\n<p>1\/2 pound softened butter<br \/>\n1 cup of sugar<br \/>\ncream them together with your gyrowangucopterlator <\/p>\n<p>Then add:<br \/>\n1 jangled egg<br \/>\n3 tablespoons milk<br \/>\n1 teaspoon of vanilla extract<br \/>\nthen rejangle with your handheld copterwangler <\/p>\n<p>In another bowl sift together:<br \/>\n3 cups all purpose flour<br \/>\n\u00be teaspoon baking powder<br \/>\n1 teaspoon salt <\/p>\n<p>then dump the baking snow onto your butter cloud and recopterize with your dough typhoon but feel free to fold it together with your spatulator first to avoid a dust storm <\/p>\n<p>At this point you should have dough but if you doughn&#8217;t then add another tablespoon of milk until you have dough (and if you have goo try adding some more wheat dust)<\/p>\n<p>lay the dough down to sleep on plastic wrap (one folded sheet) then throw it in the<br \/>\ntemperature reducer for an hour or two <\/p>\n<p>then remove it from the heat remover and if it&#8217;s really cold let it warm up a bit, otherwise start<br \/>\npressing and rolling it out until it&#8217;s 1\/4 inch thick unless you&#8217;re not making cookies<\/p>\n<p>then just do your thing, you know, making shapes and whatnot and bake them for 12 minutes on 350 <\/p>\n<p>If you want to make icing take 1 cup of powdered sugar and add a couple teaspoons of corn syrup and a couple teaspoons of water &#8230; you can add more corn syrup and less water or just keep adding corn syrup, it&#8217;s really up to you. I did one where all I added was maple syrup and that was interesting although you can barely taste the maple over the powdered sugar, but what I learned from this is holy cow does corn syrup ever taste good. As an adult I&#8217;ve been in this mentality that corn syrup is the worst and why would you ever eat that and I tasted it for the first time in years and it was like eating caramel for the first time. I think I chugged that stuff when I was a kid and wanted candy because it&#8217;s liquid candy. Anyway, what I&#8217;m saying is I recommend corn syrup. Even though it comes from corn, which is not recommended.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You Suck At Cooking Published 23 Dec 2020 This sugar cookie recipe is super easy, just like things that aren&#8217;t difficult. They also have something in common with Christmas cookies: you can find them both on planet earth, which is the fifth largest planet in our solar system. 1\/2 pound softened butter 1 cup of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[74,57],"tags":[345,1276,1388],"class_list":["post-97283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-humour","tag-christmas","tag-cooking","tag-recipes"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-pj5","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97283","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=97283"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97283\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":97284,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97283\/revisions\/97284"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=97283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=97283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=97283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}