{"id":96812,"date":"2025-10-30T01:00:10","date_gmt":"2025-10-30T05:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=96812"},"modified":"2025-10-29T09:44:26","modified_gmt":"2025-10-29T13:44:26","slug":"qotd-when-species-mating-rituals-are-disturbed-they-dont-mate-and-humans-are-a-species","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2025\/10\/30\/qotd-when-species-mating-rituals-are-disturbed-they-dont-mate-and-humans-are-a-species\/","title":{"rendered":"QotD: When species&#8217; mating rituals are disturbed, they don&#8217;t mate &#8230; and Humans are a species"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p><a href=\"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/QotD-thumbnail-400x400.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:right; padding: 0px 0px 10px 25px\" src=\"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/QotD-thumbnail-400x400.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-48672\" srcset=\"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/QotD-thumbnail-400x400.png 400w, https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/QotD-thumbnail-400x400-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/QotD-thumbnail-400x400-50x50.png 50w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><em><strong>Rob Henderson<\/strong> @robkhenderson<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The actual truth is a lot of guys are naturally timid and are secretly grateful that approaching women was stigmatized because it gave them a righteous-sounding excuse for their own cowardice.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Is thirty seconds&#8217; thought before posting too much to ask? <\/p>\n<p>If cold approaching strange women was part of the natural human reproductive cycle, no men would [be] afraid to do it, because those who were would not have had descendants. <\/p>\n<p>Every species has mating rituals. If those rituals are not disrupted, they will mate. If they are disrupted, they will not mate. <\/p>\n<p>This is why a cattery run by a middle aged housewife in her own home can breed Occicats, Russian Blues, or Bengals, but the best zoos in the world can&#8217;t make two pandas into three pandas. <\/p>\n<p>The basic mating ritual of human beings does not begin with a man cold approaching a strange woman. <\/p>\n<p>It begins with a woman covertly signalling a willingness to be approached, either to a specific man, or in general. Only then is the man supposed to respond with an overt approach. <\/p>\n<p>Women raised under the heel of feminism not only don&#8217;t know how to signal, they don&#8217;t even know that they should. <\/p>\n<p>Men raised under the heel of feminism not only don&#8217;t know how to spot a signal, they don&#8217;t know they should be looking for one. And even if they did, it wouldn&#8217;t do them any good, because the women are not signalling. <\/p>\n<p>This is why women&#8217;s twitter histories are an endless litany of &#8220;don&#8217;t approach me at the park, don&#8217;t approach me in the dark, don&#8217;t approach me here or there, don&#8217;t approach me anywhere&#8221;, alternating with &#8220;why don&#8217;t I get any attention? *sob*&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>They instinctively know that an approach from a man they do not favor is an affront, so they are affronted, and demand not be approached, when it happens. <\/p>\n<p>Then everyone stops approaching, and they cry. <\/p>\n<p>They want only men they like to approach them, but they have no idea that it&#8217;s their responsibility to make this happen. <\/p>\n<p>If you attempt to make them understand this, most of them think you are telling them to overtly cold approach men, and they hate this idea, because it&#8217;s not natural to them, either. <\/p>\n<p>Blank slatists, who don&#8217;t think humans have mating rituals, or at least don&#8217;t want them to, will insist that men &#8220;man up&#8221; and do all the work of solving this problem by cold approaching a steady stream of women until something clicks. <\/p>\n<p>Or they will try to get women to do the approaching by building a dating website where only women can make first contact. <\/p>\n<p>Doesn&#8217;t work. <\/p>\n<p>Because mating rituals aren&#8217;t just &#8220;things you&#8217;re afraid to stop doing&#8221;, they are &#8220;things that make you feel attracted at all&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>When I was in my 20s, I would certainly cold approach women. But only for sex. If a woman didn&#8217;t make some sort of &#8220;come-hither&#8221; signal to me, sex was all I was in it for, and sex was the highest level of commitment she could expect from me. <\/p>\n<p>Because it was firmly fixed in my mind, on an instinctive level, that she wasn&#8217;t actually that enthusiastic about me. And if she wasn&#8217;t enthusiastic about me, how could I be about her? <\/p>\n<p>No thanks. I wanted to be appreciated, and so do most men. <\/p>\n<p>Walking around with your breasts on display may attract the male gaze, but it&#8217;s not a substitute for contributing some energy and enthusiasm to the process. <\/p>\n<p>This is what men really mean when they say &#8220;you told us not to approach you&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>It doesn&#8217;t mean &#8220;I am afraid of being called a creepy pervert or even arrested&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>It means &#8220;I can&#8217;t drum up much enthusiasm if you don&#8217;t show any&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>It means &#8220;You told everyone not to approach you, and you never shot me that eye contact and smile to say &#8216;I didn&#8217;t mean you'&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>It means &#8220;You project an air of defensiveness, and I&#8217;m not interested in rowing upstream. I want to be appreciated.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>No one wants to dance with a mannequin.<\/p>\n<p>Devon Eriksen <a href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/Devon_Eriksen_\/status\/1949169427062173810\" target=\"_blank\">The social media site formerly known as <em>Twitter<\/em><\/a>, 2025-07-26.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rob Henderson @robkhenderson The actual truth is a lot of guys are naturally timid and are secretly grateful that approaching women was stigmatized because it gave them a righteous-sounding excuse for their own cowardice. Is thirty seconds&#8217; thought before posting too much to ask? If cold approaching strange women was part of the natural human [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[66,28,41],"tags":[139,255,43],"class_list":["post-96812","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health-science","category-media","category-quotations","tag-psychology","tag-sexuality","tag-women"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/favicon.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-pbu","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96812","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=96812"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96812\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":98788,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96812\/revisions\/98788"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=96812"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=96812"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=96812"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}