{"id":85838,"date":"2023-11-21T05:00:32","date_gmt":"2023-11-21T10:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=85838"},"modified":"2023-11-21T10:15:40","modified_gmt":"2023-11-21T15:15:40","slug":"self-checkouts-are-not-quite-skynet-t-800-death-dealers-sarah-connor-can-rest-easy-for-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2023\/11\/21\/self-checkouts-are-not-quite-skynet-t-800-death-dealers-sarah-connor-can-rest-easy-for-now\/","title":{"rendered":"“Self-checkouts are not quite Skynet T-800 death dealers. Sarah Connor can rest easy – for now”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I realize the problem is me, in that I hate self-checkout kiosks with a fiery passion and have been known to abandon any plans to purchase from a store if there is no human assigned to the checkout desk. I decline (with thanks) all offers to use the self-checkout — several of which are often unused — while lined up three or four deep at the one human’s work station. It must be my Luddite side showing. But, as Christopher Gage<\/a> shows here, I’m not completely alone:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Self-checkout using NCR Fastlane machines at a Sainsbury’s store in the UK.
Photo by Magnus Manske via Wikimedia Commons.<\/p><\/div>\n

“He’s got a problem with potatoes,” said the condemned, guarding the self-checkout machines. Potatoes plague them. Carrier bags flummox them. ‘Surprising item on the scale,’ it squeaked as if I were weighing up a kilo of black-tar heroin.<\/p>\n

The retirement refusenik tapped a code on the screen for the third occasion before returning to his post. ‘Unexpected item in the bagging area.’ Embarrassed, I marshalled my friend \u2014 the Hobbity, amenable man with the silver slugs for eyebrows \u2014 for the fourth time. He recanted a well-worn sop dispensed to young dotards like me: “Don’t take it personally,” he said. “He just doesn’t like you.”<\/p>\n

Self-checkouts are not quite Skynet T-800 death dealers. Sarah Connor can rest easy \u2014 for now.<\/p>\n

After a little while, the machine let me go. The ordeal, fractious and infinitely slower than employing the helpful man to man a till, was over. Then, the devil-device sucker-punched square in the testes.<\/p>\n

“Lovely to see you bye for now,” read the screen. Sinister, like a Jehovah’s Witness grinning. No comma after the introductory clause?! The insolent swine. I fought the primal urge to drown the machine in Coca-Cola and watch it crackle. The clean-up would be Harold’s job. He had enough on his plate.<\/p>\n

\n

Mercifully, one supermarket has sacked these silly machines.<\/p>\n

Booths, a posh retailer<\/a> up north, has retired self-checkouts in all but two of their stores. The good burghers of Booths reckon humans talking to other humans is a groundbreaking idea that will catch on in future.<\/p>\n

“We have based this not only on what we feel is the right thing to do but also from having received feedback from our customers,” they said.<\/p>\n

“Delighting customers with our warm northern welcome is part of our DNA.”<\/p>\n

Wearily, Booths did what British northerners must do lest they spontaneously combust \u2014 they peacocked their northernness. Apparently, to be born on a particular patch of this floating rock bestows northerners an umbilical, friendly mien.<\/p>\n

Northerners cannot help themselves. POV: You encounter a northerner in a pub: “A malignant tumour, you say? You wanna get yourself a northern tumour. Northern tumours are far less aggressive than those bloody southern tumours. It’s a fact! Northern tumours still have a sense of community, you see. Not like southern tumours …<\/em>”<\/p>\n

I must forgive them. Booth’s “northern welcome” is a good thing. Entities imbued with DNA are a good thing. Even one fewer self-service checkout is a good thing.<\/p>\n

From where Booth’s tread, others may follow. The numbers don’t tell fibs.<\/p>\n

Self-checkouts mutate even the most cherubic of citizens into a degenerate thief. Stores with self-service checkouts suffer double the shrinkage (4%) \u2014 industry-speak for pilfering and thieving.<\/p>\n

Researchers say the temptation can prove too much, provoking our inner tea leaf<\/a> into a spot of half-inching<\/a>. Self-checkouts goad miscreants into slapping a “Reduced to \u00a31” sticker on a litre of Jameson<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Booths have bucked a trend. A fatuous, anti-human trend.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Update<\/strong>: Fixed broken URL.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I realize the problem is me, in that I hate self-checkout kiosks with a fiery passion and have been known to abandon any plans to purchase from a store if there is no human assigned to the checkout desk. I decline (with thanks) all offers to use the self-checkout — several of which are often […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,831,15],"tags":[174,139,159],"class_list":["post-85838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-britain","category-business","category-technology","tag-innovation","tag-psychology","tag-shopping"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/favicon.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-mku","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=85838"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85838\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":85853,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85838\/revisions\/85853"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=85838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=85838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=85838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}