{"id":82595,"date":"2023-06-05T03:00:49","date_gmt":"2023-06-05T07:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=82595"},"modified":"2023-06-04T09:16:20","modified_gmt":"2023-06-04T13:16:20","slug":"if-i-were-a-teenager-and-i-read-on-a-cigarette-the-words-poison-in-every-puff-id-think-it-was-a-catchy-marketing-jingle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2023\/06\/05\/if-i-were-a-teenager-and-i-read-on-a-cigarette-the-words-poison-in-every-puff-id-think-it-was-a-catchy-marketing-jingle\/","title":{"rendered":"“… if I were a teenager and I read on a cigarette the words, ‘Poison in every puff!’ I’d think it was a catchy marketing jingle”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Christopher Gage<\/a> on the Canadian government’s ludicrous next anti-smoking campaign, putting scary messages on every single cigarette in a pack:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I resisted smoking until age ten. Back then, the local boys and I would tramp over the local fields in search of dried ferns upon which to practise the deadly, seductive art of smoking.<\/p>\n

By high school, we’d graduated onto the proper cancer sticks. Every morning, we’d pool together our lunch money, and skulk outside the off-license in wait for a nameless reprobate to slip into the shop and, for buyer’s rights of one cigarette, smuggle us ten Lambert and Butler.<\/p>\n

Since then, save four years of misguided, anti-smoking zealotry, I’ve smoked with a sinful enthusiasm. Few share my woeful pursuit.<\/p>\n

This week, Canada announced a “world-first”. They’ll soon begin printing health warnings directly onto cigarettes.<\/p>\n

Neophiles with an addiction to “progress” laud this wearisome world-first. Giddy are the pink-lunged puritans.<\/p>\n

Sorry to be facetious, but if I were a teenager and I read on a cigarette the words, “Poison in every puff!” I’d think it was a catchy marketing jingle. I’d happily sign up for a lifetime of chuffing away my health. <\/p>\n

Perhaps they should market specifically to Millennials. “Who cares? You’ll never buy your own home,” is particularly resonant.<\/p>\n

This is all part of a scheme to cut smoking rates to below five percent by 2035.<\/p>\n

Reader, what happens then? Once the health fascists defeat us smokers, from whom shall they siphon their righteous fix?<\/p>\n

The irony: as smoking declines, obesity balloons. Between 2003 and 2017, obesity deaths spiked by a third. One in four deaths is now related to one’s weight. Corpulence chalks more bodies than the cancer stick.<\/p>\n

I’m yet to see a warning label plastered on the side of a family bucket of KFC. But give it time.<\/p>\n

You can live as long as you like, as long as you don’t like living.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Christopher Gage on the Canadian government’s ludicrous next anti-smoking campaign, putting scary messages on every single cigarette in a pack: I resisted smoking until age ten. Back then, the local boys and I would tramp over the local fields in search of dried ferns upon which to practise the deadly, seductive art of smoking. By […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,66],"tags":[52,59,244,1310],"class_list":["post-82595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cancon","category-health-science","tag-absurd","tag-addiction","tag-publichealth","tag-puritanism"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/favicon.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-lub","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82595","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=82595"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82595\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":82597,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82595\/revisions\/82597"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=82595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=82595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=82595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}