{"id":80602,"date":"2023-03-10T05:00:05","date_gmt":"2023-03-10T10:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=80602"},"modified":"2024-08-19T12:00:58","modified_gmt":"2024-08-19T16:00:58","slug":"having-solved-all-other-problems-congress-now-investigates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2023\/03\/10\/having-solved-all-other-problems-congress-now-investigates\/","title":{"rendered":"Having solved all other problems, Congress now investigates … (checks notes) … the Protestant Reformation"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chris Bray<\/a> respectfully outlines some of the questions the honourable Congressmen<\/del> Congresspersons<\/del> Congressentities<\/del><\/font> Representatives would be likely to pose to the witnesses:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Martin Luther nails his 95 theses to the door of All Saints Church in Wittenberg, 1517.
Painting by Ferdinand Pauwels (1830-1904) via Wikimedia Commons.<\/p><\/div>\n

1.) Mr. Luther, you \u2014 sorry, having trouble with my reading glasses. It says here you … mailed 95 feces to a door? Do you feel that it was appropriate to put something like that in the mail?<\/p>\n

2.) Mr. Calvin, sir, you have raised numerous objections to the elevation of the host. Shouldn’t you be equally concerned about the elevation of the hostess? Don’t you feel that gendered terms are problematic?<\/p>\n

3.) For all the witnesses, I’m told you wish to choose your own pastures. Isn’t that a question best left to the farmers?<\/p>\n

4.) Gentlemen, you apparently propose to dissolve the monasteries. But most of them are, in my understanding, made out of big rocks, with very solid walls. Wouldn’t that take a prohibitive amount of acid to dissolve those? Have you done an EIR?<\/p>\n

5.) I must very candidly inform the witnesses that I cannot agree to your premise, and I frankly find it absurd to say that faith alone is the cause of salivation. Do you have credentials in the science of digestion?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Chris Bray respectfully outlines some of the questions the honourable Congressmen Congresspersons Congressentities Representatives would be likely to pose to the witnesses: 1.) Mr. Luther, you \u2014 sorry, having trouble with my reading glasses. It says here you … mailed 95 feces to a door? Do you feel that it was appropriate to put something […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[84,57,11,13],"tags":[360,698,463,1562],"class_list":["post-80602","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-government","category-humour","category-religion","category-usa","tag-christianity","tag-congress","tag-parody","tag-reformation"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/favicon.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-kY2","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80602","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80602"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80602\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":80606,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80602\/revisions\/80606"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80602"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80602"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80602"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}