{"id":69311,"date":"2025-05-09T01:00:49","date_gmt":"2025-05-09T05:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=69311"},"modified":"2025-05-08T08:55:55","modified_gmt":"2025-05-08T12:55:55","slug":"qotd-becoming-a-parent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2025\/05\/09\/qotd-becoming-a-parent\/","title":{"rendered":"QotD: Becoming a parent"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I know lots of female professionals \u2014 doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. \u2014 many of whom are quite good at their jobs. Let’s even, for the sake of argument, stipulate that they’re slightly better than their male colleagues. Leaving aside the thorny (and probably unanswerable) question of just how you’d rank, say, doctors \u2014 is strength of schedule a factor? do we trust the coaches’ poll? \u2014 the real question is, does society benefit more from a slightly-better, but childless, female MD, or from an excellent stay-at-home mom? Or a pretty-good nurse who works part time while the kids are in school?<\/p>\n

Younger folks are no doubt shocked by that question, and if some BCG<\/acronym> were ever to read this, she’d try to string me up, but it’s the only question that matters long term. The BCG would start sputtering some question about “what about her happiness?” \u2014 the only answer to which, if you want to maintain a stable society, must be: “Category error”. It’s like “staying together for the kids”, another phrase we oldsters recognize, but the younger generation can’t grok. But … but … but … whaddabout your feeeeeelings?<\/p>\n

What about them?<\/p>\n

Seriously: Who gives a shit? Viddy well, oh my brothers: When you decided to have kids, you didn’t hit the pause button on some video game RPG called “Your Career”; you ejected the disk, snapped that fucker in half, and smashed the Xbox Office Space<\/em>-style for good measure. What’s good for you, personally, just got sent to the back of the line. Permanently. Yeah yeah, I know, you can’t fulfill your parental obligations if you’re completely miserable all the time, but you can find lots of joy and meaning and yes, even fulfillment (that most insidious of modern weasel words) doing stuff other than making partner down at the law firm.<\/p>\n

Men used to understand this, because men were once trained to take the long view, to delay gratification, to suck it the fuck up for the greater good. It’s the same gene \u2014 and it IS genetic, 1,000,000+ years of evolution \u2014 that causes men to charge bullets or punch kangaroos or do whatever else needs to be done in the face of obvious threats, even at the risk, or even the near certainty, of his own injury or death.<\/p>\n

Women don’t roll like that, because they can’t \u2014 “that 1,000,000+ years of evolved behavior” thing again. They’re evolved to put the kids first \u2014 their kids, not some abstract ideal. Women can be, and often are, suicidally brave \u2014 for their own offspring. But absent those \u2014 absent the possibility of those \u2014 all those maternal instincts go septic, which is how you get the BCG. She knows she’s not cut out for this, no matter how successful she is academically \u2014 indeed, in my experience it’s precisely the most academically successful ones who sense it the clearest.<\/p>\n

Alas, they are trained that feminism is the answer to those inner alarm bells, so they carry on like caricature cavemen \u2014 being as crude and offensive and obnoxious as possible, trying to treat sex like an itch to be scratched while beefing with that basic bitch Becky on the next dorm block.<\/p>\n

Severian, “Gettin’ Jiggy in College Town”, Founding Questions<\/em><\/a>, 2021-10-08.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know lots of female professionals \u2014 doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. \u2014 many of whom are quite good at their jobs. Let’s even, for the sake of argument, stipulate that they’re slightly better than their male colleagues. Leaving aside the thorny (and probably unanswerable) question of just how you’d rank, say, doctors \u2014 is strength […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[831,66,41,13],"tags":[130,987,575,95,375,1462,43],"class_list":["post-69311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-business","category-health-science","category-quotations","category-usa","tag-evolution","tag-feminism","tag-happiness","tag-jobs","tag-parents","tag-severian","tag-women"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/favicon.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-i1V","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=69311"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":95516,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69311\/revisions\/95516"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=69311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=69311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=69311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}