{"id":40169,"date":"2017-09-15T03:00:21","date_gmt":"2017-09-15T07:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=40169"},"modified":"2017-09-14T10:40:06","modified_gmt":"2017-09-14T14:40:06","slug":"assemble-the-squad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2017\/09\/15\/assemble-the-squad\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Assemble the squad&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Severe weather is coming, and the media know their role. <a href=\"http:\/\/takimag.com\/article\/the_hurricane_algorithm_joe_bob_briggs\/print#axzz4sZa5Kfb1\" target=\"_blank\">Joe Bob Briggs<\/a> has been there, and speaks from his own experience:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>News executives love disasters. They get to act like Chuck Norris and Assemble the Squad.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMaginnis, you cover first responders.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWilson, get over to NOAA and stay on those maps.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKelly, official press briefings. Work with Yurozawski to keep tabs on every emergency room within a 300-mile radius.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBergram, you\u2019re Cop Shop, but we\u2019ll keep the aperiodic radio tracking the locals.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRamstein, find that German guy who gets a hard-on for global warming.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>By the time a managing editor or a news director gets finished \u201ccovering this mother like blubber on a seal,\u201d you\u2019ve got thirty people who feel like they\u2019re crammed into a D-day troop carrier, waiting for somebody to throw open the landing door and engage the Nazis. They have lust in their eyes. They\u2019re hopped up like nekkid trance drummers at Burning Man.<\/p>\n<p>You know those reporters clinging to lampposts in 120-mile-per-hour winds on the pier at Sanibel Island?<\/p>\n<p>Same thing. They\u2019re pumped. They\u2019re wild. They\u2019re getting all orgasmic from the needle burns on their cheeks as the gooey red juice of the hurricane danger zones envelop them in delirious wet convulsions.<\/p>\n<p>I know. I was one of those guys.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Severe weather is coming, and the media know their role. Joe Bob Briggs has been there, and speaks from his own experience: News executives love disasters. They get to act like Chuck Norris and Assemble the Squad. \u201cMaginnis, you cover first responders.\u201d \u201cWilson, get over to NOAA and stay on those maps.\u201d \u201cKelly, official press [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[65,28,13],"tags":[213,206,101],"class_list":["post-40169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-environment","category-media","category-usa","tag-newspapers","tag-severeweather","tag-tv"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/favicon.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-arT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40169"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40170,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40169\/revisions\/40170"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}