{"id":32714,"date":"2015-09-13T03:00:44","date_gmt":"2015-09-13T07:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=32714"},"modified":"2015-10-11T13:41:09","modified_gmt":"2015-10-11T17:41:09","slug":"lord-of-the-flies-re-imagined-for-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2015\/09\/13\/lord-of-the-flies-re-imagined-for-today\/","title":{"rendered":"Lord of the Flies<\/em>, re-imagined for today"},"content":{"rendered":"

In The New Yorker<\/em>, Joe Keohane<\/a> gives us an updated, modernized version of William Golding’s 1954 book:<\/p>\n

By the time Ralph finished blowing the conch, a large crowd had formed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, then,\u201d he said, clearing his throat. \u201cFirst rule: we can\u2019t have everyone talking at once.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jack was on his feet. \u201cWe\u2019ll have rules!\u201d he yelled excitedly. \u201cLots of rules!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ralph explained, \u201cWe need to have \u2018hands up,\u2019 like at school. Then I\u2019ll pass the conch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cConch?\u201d someone asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what this shell\u2019s called,\u201d Ralph said. \u201cI\u2019ll give the conch to the next person to speak. He can hold it while he\u2019s speaking. And he won\u2019t be interrupted, except by me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust because we\u2019re stranded doesn\u2019t give you the right to use non-inclusive language,\u201d Jack said.<\/p>\n

The littluns muttered in assent.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, O.K.,\u201d Ralph said. \u201cSo he or she can hold this conch when he or she is \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe or she,\u201d a littlun cried, \u201cimposes a binary view of sexuality that excludes the gender-non-conforming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel unsafe!\u201d Percival whimpered.<\/p>\n

\u201cO.K.,\u201d Ralph said. \u201cDuring assembly, any person who holds the conch\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me,\u201d Roger began, \u201cremind us again why you get to interrupt us even if you don\u2019t have the conch?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019m the chief,\u201d Ralph said. \u201cI was chosen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBy whom?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBy you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t vote for you,\u201d Roger said, with a frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had a vote. The majority rules.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s brilliant \u2014 the majority,\u201d Jack scoffed. The littluns tittered. \u201cIf anything, that means you have even less of a right to interrupt than we do!\u201d Jack faced the others. \u201cIf you agree with me, wiggle your fingers.\u201d<\/p>\n

They wiggled their fingers.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, I\u2019m trying to get us rescued by the grownups,\u201d Ralph said, gesturing toward a plane that had been circling the island for some time, and now seemed to be flying away.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are speaking from a position of privilege,\u201d Jack said, \u201cso you have no right to criticize us or tell us what to do.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In The New Yorker, Joe Keohane gives us an updated, modernized version of William Golding’s 1954 book: By the time Ralph finished blowing the conch, a large crowd had formed. \u201cWell, then,\u201d he said, clearing his throat. \u201cFirst rule: we can\u2019t have everyone talking at once.\u201d Jack was on his feet. \u201cWe\u2019ll have rules!\u201d he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,57],"tags":[238,463,351],"class_list":["post-32714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-humour","tag-offensensitivity","tag-parody","tag-politicalcorrectness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-8vE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32714"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32714\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32717,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32714\/revisions\/32717"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}