{"id":31256,"date":"2015-05-06T04:00:54","date_gmt":"2015-05-06T08:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=31256"},"modified":"2015-05-05T21:32:43","modified_gmt":"2015-05-06T01:32:43","slug":"no-means-no-but-apparently-sometimes-yes-also-means-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2015\/05\/06\/no-means-no-but-apparently-sometimes-yes-also-means-no\/","title":{"rendered":"“No means no” but apparently sometimes “Yes” also means “no”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Losing your bearings in the “rape culture” debate? You’re not alone. Even some of the active participants seem to be losing their bearings, too. Katherine Timpf<\/a> reports:<\/p>\n

When it comes to consent, it\u2019s not enough to teach that \u201cno means no\u201d or even that only \u201cyes means yes\u201d \u2014 because sometimes \u201cyes\u201d can actually mean \u201cno.\u201d <\/p>\n

At least that\u2019s the point of view expressed in an op-ed written by Jordan Bosiljevac for Claremont McKenna College\u2019s student newspaper, the Forum<\/em>. <\/p>\n

In the piece<\/a>, Bosiljevac explains that she and her friends even came up with a phrase to describe someone having sex with you who you didn\u2019t want to have sex with even though you told him that you did, which they apparently consider a form of rape: <\/p>\n

\u201cWe coined the term \u2018raped by rape culture\u2019 to describe what it was like to say yes, coerced by the culture that had raised us and the systems of power that worked on us, and to still want \u2018no,\u2019\u201d she writes in the April 30 article, titled \u201cWhy Yes Can Mean No.\u201d<\/p>\n

[…]<\/p>\n

She does, however, clarify that you can actually be a person in one of these groups, or, as she explains it, \u201ca person oppressed in these systems of power,\u201d and still be capable of having \u201cempowering consensual experiences.\u201d Yep \u2014 even if you\u2019re a female<\/em>, you\u2019re still capable of maybe actually wanting to have sex and enjoying it sometimes! Glad she clarified. If she hadn\u2019t, I would have never imagined such a thing could be possible. <\/p>\n

So what do we do? After all, there\u2019s no way to tell if a woman is actually wanting to have sex or just saying that she wants to have sex even though she doesn\u2019t because she\u2019s a helpless victim of male oppression that makes it impossible for her to use the right words. Lest you think Bosiljevac is just complaining, she does offer a solution:<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst, we have to realize that all oppression is connected, and all rape is racist, classist, ableist, patriarchal, hetero and cissexist,\u201d she writes. \u201cWe cannot make consent available to all if we are not simultaneously disrupting these structures.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Losing your bearings in the “rape culture” debate? You’re not alone. Even some of the active participants seem to be losing their bearings, too. Katherine Timpf reports: When it comes to consent, it\u2019s not enough to teach that \u201cno means no\u201d or even that only \u201cyes means yes\u201d \u2014 because sometimes \u201cyes\u201d can actually mean […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,53,13],"tags":[987,255,997,764],"class_list":["post-31256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-media","category-politics","category-usa","tag-feminism","tag-sexuality","tag-socialjustice","tag-university"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-888","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31256","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31256"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31256\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31257,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31256\/revisions\/31257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}