{"id":30703,"date":"2015-03-20T02:00:22","date_gmt":"2015-03-20T06:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=30703"},"modified":"2015-03-18T21:12:26","modified_gmt":"2015-03-19T01:12:26","slug":"a-new-12-step-program-to-turn-yourself-into-a-wine-snob","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2015\/03\/20\/a-new-12-step-program-to-turn-yourself-into-a-wine-snob\/","title":{"rendered":"A new 12-step program &#8230; to turn yourself into a wine snob"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/goingglobaltv.com\/how-to-be-a-wine-snob-in-12-easy-steps\/\" target=\"_blank\">Carolyn Evans-Hammond<\/a> on the fastest way to become the person everyone else in the restaurant (or at the party) just despises:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<ol>\n<li>When tasting a wine over $50, always use the phrase, \u201cexcellent value.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Make sexual allusions to describe wine, especially when talking to a member of the opposite gender. Tight, muscular, voluptuous, hard, long. You get the idea. Best done while making soft moans before and after the sentiment.<\/li>\n<li>When at a restaurant, grill the wine waiter about the wines. Ask how a certain bottle is \u201cshowing\u201d, whether it\u2019s fruit forward or restrained, and whether the Champagne on the list has undergone malolactic fermentation.<\/li>\n<li>Bring a bottle of wine to a party already decanted, and tell the host you\u2019d like it poured at a precise temperature.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Carolyn Evans-Hammond on the fastest way to become the person everyone else in the restaurant (or at the party) just despises: When tasting a wine over $50, always use the phrase, \u201cexcellent value.\u201d Make sexual allusions to describe wine, especially when talking to a member of the opposite gender. Tight, muscular, voluptuous, hard, long. You [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[57,131],"tags":[907],"class_list":["post-30703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-wine","tag-snobbery"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-7Zd","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30703","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30703"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30703\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30704,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30703\/revisions\/30704"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30703"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30703"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30703"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}