{"id":23409,"date":"2013-12-20T09:44:46","date_gmt":"2013-12-20T14:44:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=23409"},"modified":"2013-12-20T09:44:46","modified_gmt":"2013-12-20T14:44:46","slug":"qotd-almost-winter-in-maine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2013\/12\/20\/qotd-almost-winter-in-maine\/","title":{"rendered":"QotD: (Almost) Winter in Maine"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p>I love the weather channels. Hair farmers and dime-store Kardashians waving their arms over an imaginary map, talking about WINTER STORM FABIAN or WINTER SEMI-BLIZZARD OSAMA or WINTER ARCTIC DEATHSTORM INGA. The least you could do is explain what the hell I&#8217;m suppose to expect on Monday on that forecast there. Is the weather going to be serrated on Monday? Will I be expected to swim laps in some sort of frozen pool? Is frozen angel hair pasta going to be made available to me? What are those squiggly weather lines? Should I make out a will, and make out with my wife one last time on Sunday night?<\/p>\n<p>I got up this morning and it was fifteen below zero, car wouldn&#8217;t start, because the car is smarter than a person, and we were still shoveling a foot of &#8220;partly cloudy&#8221; from the day before. I didn&#8217;t really mind, exactly, because I didn&#8217;t move to Uppastump Maine expecting palm trees and grass skirts on the babes, but there is one aspect about it that rankled. Listen to me, you weather idiots. It&#8217;s not the winter. It won&#8217;t be winter for four days or so. The average nighttime temperature here in December is fourteen degrees Fahrenheit. That makes last night thirty bleeping degrees below normal. Thirty degrees is a lot, don&#8217;t you think?<\/p>\n<p>Sippican Cottage, <a href=\"http:\/\/sippicancottage.blogspot.ca\/2013\/12\/i-was-considering-putting-on-sweater.html\" target=\"_blank\">&#8220;I Was Considering Putting On A Sweater&#8221;, <em>Sippican Cottage<\/em><\/a>, 2013-12-17<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I love the weather channels. Hair farmers and dime-store Kardashians waving their arms over an imaginary map, talking about WINTER STORM FABIAN or WINTER SEMI-BLIZZARD OSAMA or WINTER ARCTIC DEATHSTORM INGA. The least you could do is explain what the hell I&#8217;m suppose to expect on Monday on that forecast there. Is the weather going [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[57,41,13],"tags":[936,206,101],"class_list":["post-23409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-quotations","category-usa","tag-maine","tag-severeweather","tag-tv"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-65z","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23409"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23410,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23409\/revisions\/23410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}