{"id":22783,"date":"2013-11-02T11:59:17","date_gmt":"2013-11-02T16:59:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=22783"},"modified":"2013-11-02T11:59:17","modified_gmt":"2013-11-02T16:59:17","slug":"jogging-the-exercise-of-the-devil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2013\/11\/02\/jogging-the-exercise-of-the-devil\/","title":{"rendered":"Jogging &#8211; the exercise of the devil"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.sportsnet.ca\/magazine\/scott-feschuk-learns-to-jog\/\" target=\"_blank\">Scott Feschuk<\/a> loves jogging. Well, he loves <em>some things<\/em> about jogging: pretty much everything about it except the actual &#8220;jogging&#8221; part:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I took up jogging recently because I had begun to lose sight of certain things in life, such as my genitals. Year upon year of sports viewing \u2014 abetted by halftime nachos, intermission chili dogs and anytime beers\u2014had taken a physical toll. I\u2019m not saying I was out of shape, but I still remember my first run in the springtime: the sweat, the laboured breathing, the searing chest pain. And that was just from climbing onto the treadmill.<\/p>\n<p>Several months later, I am a changed man! Sure, I\u2019m pretty much the same weight and I don\u2019t look any better. And sure, I still consider the stairs to be the Devil\u2019s method of ascent. (Folks, there\u2019s a reason God invented the elevator, the escalator and waiting patiently until the object you want eventually comes downstairs of its own accord.)<\/p>\n<p>[&#8230;]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Getting injured<\/strong>. Early this fall, I strained my hip and couldn\u2019t run for a couple weeks. This turned out to be an ideal scenario because I could still self-identify as a jogger without having to, you know, jog. I\u2019d wake up and think, \u201cYep, I\u2019d be out there crushing a 10K run right now if I hadn\u2019t hurt myself being SO SUPER ATHLETIC. Hmm, perhaps my recovery will be hastened by multiple Eggos!\u201d By the way, there\u2019s no quicker way to get in tight with runners than to ask them about their injuries. Runners love talking about injuries. YES, OLD MAN, PLEASE CONTINUE YOUR MESMERIZING TALE OF THE GREAT HAMSTRING PULL OF 1993.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The sense of satisfaction<\/strong>. I like knowing that I play a positive role out there: Other out-of-shape people see me and instantly feel better about themselves. They think, \u201cSure, my knees are shot and I\u2019m running a 13-minute mile, but at least I\u2019m not getting repeatedly concussed by my own man boobs like THAT guy.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Scott Feschuk loves jogging. Well, he loves some things about jogging: pretty much everything about it except the actual &#8220;jogging&#8221; part: I took up jogging recently because I had begun to lose sight of certain things in life, such as my genitals. Year upon year of sports viewing \u2014 abetted by halftime nachos, intermission chili [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[66,57],"tags":[52],"class_list":["post-22783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health-science","category-humour","tag-absurd"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-5Vt","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22783"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22783\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22784,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22783\/revisions\/22784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}