{"id":1367,"date":"2009-10-11T01:17:42","date_gmt":"2009-10-11T05:17:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=1367"},"modified":"2019-08-28T08:34:43","modified_gmt":"2019-08-28T12:34:43","slug":"hot-hot-hot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2009\/10\/11\/hot-hot-hot\/","title":{"rendered":"Hot, Hot, Hot!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Jeremy Clarkson<\/a> makes the acquaintance of “limited-edition Insanity private reserve” hot sauce:<\/p>\n

\n

It\u2019s an American chilli sauce that was bought by my wife as a joky Christmas present. And, like all joky Christmas presents, it was put in a drawer and forgotten about. It\u2019s called limited-edition Insanity private reserve and it came in a little wooden box, along with various warning notices. \u201cUse this product one drop at a time,\u201d it said. \u201cKeep away from eyes, pets and children. Not for people with heart or respiratory problems. Use extreme caution.\u201d<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, we live in a world where everything comes with a warning notice. Railings. Vacuum cleaners. Energy drinks. My quad bike has so many stickers warning me of decapitation, death and impalement that they become a nonsensical blur.<\/p>\n

The result is simple. We know these labels are drawn up to protect the manufacturer legally, should you decide one day to insert a vacuum-cleaner pipe up your bottom, or to try to remove your eye with a teaspoon. So we ignore them. They are meaningless. One drop at a time! Use extreme caution! On a sauce. Pah. Plainly it was just American lawyer twaddle. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

A valid point: if everything<\/em> these days carries warning labels, the actual level of concern for ordinary consumers drops . . . so real<\/em> warnings are drowned out by the hundreds of bogus ones put there merely to avert lawsuits, not to provide useful information about the product.<\/p>\n

\n

The pain started out mildly, but I knew from past experience that this would build to a delightful fiery sensation. I was even looking forward to it. But the moment soon passed. In a matter of seconds I was in agony. After maybe a minute I was frightened that I might die. After five I was frightened that I might not.<\/p>\n

The searing fire had surged throughout my head. My eyes were streaming. Molten lava was flooding out of my nose. My mouth was a shattered ruin. Even my hair hurt. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

H\/T to Dave Slater for the link.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jeremy Clarkson makes the acquaintance of “limited-edition Insanity private reserve” hot sauce: It\u2019s an American chilli sauce that was bought by my wife as a joky Christmas present. And, like all joky Christmas presents, it was put in a drawer and forgotten about. It\u2019s called limited-edition Insanity private reserve and it came in a little […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[74,57,73],"tags":[1306],"class_list":["post-1367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-humour","category-randomness","tag-jeremyclarkson"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/favicon.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-m3","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1367","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1367"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1367\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":50672,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1367\/revisions\/50672"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1367"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1367"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1367"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}