{"id":102778,"date":"2026-06-02T03:00:28","date_gmt":"2026-06-02T07:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=102778"},"modified":"2026-05-31T10:08:58","modified_gmt":"2026-05-31T14:08:58","slug":"applying-for-a-job-in-2026","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2026\/06\/02\/applying-for-a-job-in-2026\/","title":{"rendered":"Applying for a job in 2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is exactly the kind of experience I was having before I retired: painfully extended online application process, complete with re-entering pretty much everything in my resum\u00e9 in their preferred format (but without the impromptu video pitch, thank goodness) followed almost instantly by rejection<\/a>. In the vast majority of cases, no human being was ever even aware of my application:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

“Help Wanted” by dreamsjung<\/a> is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 <\/a>.<\/p><\/div>\n

I spent 4 hours yesterday updating my resume to apply for a mid-level PM role.<\/p>\n

The listing said they wanted someone with 10 years of experience in a software that was invented 4 years ago.<\/p>\n

I clicked apply and was immediately redirected to a third-party portal that asked me to upload my resume, which I did.<\/p>\n

Then it asked me to manually type in every single detail of the resume I had just uploaded.<\/p>\n

Why did I upload it if I have to type it again?<\/p>\n

Is the uploaded PDF just a ceremonial offering to the HR gods?<\/p>\n

I spent 40 minutes breaking down my career history into tiny mandatory text boxes.<\/p>\n

The portal required me to list a start and end date for every job, but the calendar widget wouldn’t let me type the year.<\/p>\n

I had to click the back arrow month by month to get to 2002.<\/p>\n

My wrist started cramping somewhere around 2018.<\/p>\n

Then it asked for my high school GPA.<\/p>\n

I’m 44 years old.<\/p>\n

I don’t even remember the name of my high school mascot, let alone my proficiency in AP European History.<\/p>\n

After the history lesson, came the behavioral assessment.<\/p>\n

It presented me with 75 statements and asked me to rate them from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree.”<\/p>\n

One statement was “I prefer to work alone but also thrive in team environments.”<\/p>\n

That is a paradox.<\/p>\n

I’m being asked to evaluate a philosophical contradiction by a recruiting algorithm.<\/p>\n

I just clicked “neutral” for everything out of spite.<\/p>\n

The final step was a mandatory video cover letter.<\/p>\n

I had to record a one-minute pitch explaining why my core values align with a B2B SaaS company that sells inventory management software.<\/p>\n

My core value is being able to afford groceries and paying my internet bill on time.<\/p>\n

I put on a dress shirt over my sweatpants, stared into my webcam, and lied for 60 seconds.<\/p>\n

I said I’ve always been profoundly passionate about supply chain optimization.<\/p>\n

Nobody is passionate about supply chain optimization.<\/p>\n

I clicked submit and immediately received an automated rejection email.<\/p>\n

The timestamp said it was sent zero seconds after I applied.<\/p>\n

I was evaluated and deemed unworthy by a line of code at the speed of light.<\/p>\n

Next time I’m just going to wrap my resume around a brick and throw it through their office window.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is exactly the kind of experience I was having before I retired: painfully extended online application process, complete with re-entering pretty much everything in my resum\u00e9 in their preferred format (but without the impromptu video pitch, thank goodness) followed almost instantly by rejection. In the vast majority of cases, no human being was ever […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[831,28,15],"tags":[1506,95],"class_list":["post-102778","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-business","category-media","category-technology","tag-artificialintelligence","tag-jobs"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-qJI","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102778","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=102778"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102778\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":102781,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102778\/revisions\/102781"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=102778"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=102778"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=102778"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}