{"id":101581,"date":"2026-03-29T03:00:13","date_gmt":"2026-03-29T07:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/?p=101581"},"modified":"2026-03-27T12:49:59","modified_gmt":"2026-03-27T16:49:59","slug":"womens-highly-specific-expectations-for-males-showing-emotion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/2026\/03\/29\/womens-highly-specific-expectations-for-males-showing-emotion\/","title":{"rendered":"Women’s highly specific expectations for males showing emotion"},"content":{"rendered":"

An older post from Rohan Ghostwind<\/a> but still fully relevant:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

… or, why they have such a hard time sharing their feelings, the same way that women do.<\/p>\n

Biological reasons aside, for most men, the answer to this is obvious: They’ve attempted to open up to someone in the past, and had it backfire so spectacularly<\/em> that they realized they should probably never do it again.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Specifically, a lot of young men realize that in order to be a functional participant in society, it requires them to regularly stuff down their emotions and carry on with the tasks of their daily lives.<\/p>\n

Much of the rhetoric around wanting more emotionally vulnerable men therefore comes across as vacuous, because many men subconsciously realize that people (both men and<\/em> women) only want these emotions at specific times, and in specific contexts.<\/p>\n

Women want to see the man who cries at the end of the Disney movie, not the man who’s so depressed that he’s in bed for 18 hours a day. Obviously this is an extreme case, but it’s something that pretty much every man has experienced to some degree or another.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But this hides the fact that women themselves are just as responsible<\/em> for creating this incentive structure, if not more. For as much as women want a guy who opens up and shares his feelings, this usually comes after<\/em> the man has developed some degree of competency in all the other relevant domains of life \u2014 education, career, finances, looks, etc.<\/p>\n

Again, many men have to learn this lesson the hard way; they have indeed attempted to open up, only to find that it hurt their relationship prospects, or otherwise made them less attractive to women. As such, he realizes he has to “win” the game of the patriarchy before he’s given the opportunity of subverting the rules of the game.<\/p>\n

In other words, emotions are reserved for the elite \u2014 for the rest of us low human capital\u2122, we need to shut the fuck up and get good at tensorflow and B2B sales before we even think about having a hard time.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An older post from Rohan Ghostwind but still fully relevant: … or, why they have such a hard time sharing their feelings, the same way that women do. Biological reasons aside, for most men, the answer to this is obvious: They’ve attempted to open up to someone in the past, and had it backfire so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[66,57,28,13],"tags":[262,139,43],"class_list":["post-101581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health-science","category-humour","category-media","category-usa","tag-culture","tag-psychology","tag-women"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2hpV6-qqp","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101581","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=101581"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101581\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":101586,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101581\/revisions\/101586"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=101581"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=101581"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quotulatiousness.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=101581"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}