Quotulatiousness

February 7, 2012

“London is too big and too anarchic to be seriously pasteurised by the games. It’s so big, so filthy, so nasty that it could probably eat twenty Olympiads for breakfast and spit out the Ferroconcrete bones.”

Filed under: Britain, Media, Politics, Sports — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 00:40

Faye Planer interviews Will Self in Bristol University’s Epigram on his views about the upcoming London Olympic extravaganza:

I hear that you are unenthusiastic about the prospect of the Olympics this summer. In your eyes, what is the greatest folly of this whole affair?
Rather unenthusiastic is putting it waaaaay mildly: I think the Olympics suck dogshit through a straw. People believe they encourage da yoof to take up running, jumping and fainting in coils — but this is nonsense. They’re a boondoggle for politicians and financiers, a further corruption of an already corrupt self-appointed international coterie of Olympian cunts, an excuse for ‘elite’ athletes to fuck each other, snarf steroids and pick up sponsorship deals, and a senseless hitching of infrastructural investment — if there’s any reality to this anyway — to a useless loss-trailing expenditure on starchitectural bollix. The stadia themselves are a folly. The new Westfield is a temple to moribund consumerism — in ten years time they’ll all be cracked and spalled; a Hitlerian mass of post-pomo nonsense.

If the Olympics did not exist, would it be necessary to invent them?
They didn’t exist for thousands of years. The modern Olympics is a fatuous exercise in internationalism through limbering up and then running down to entropy. The modern Olympics have always been a political football — nothing more and nothing less — endlessly traduced and manipulated by the regimes that ‘host’ them. This one is no different, presenting a fine opportunity for the British security state apparatus and its private security firm hangers-on to deploy the mass-suppression and urban paranoiac technologies in the service of export earning. Some peace, some freedom.

[. . .]

‘Really, one may say that the whole Olympic process was a pasteurisation of the city… the microbes disappeared and from a hygienic point of view maybe that was positive, but really what happened is that the variety was destroyed in the process…’ Manuel Vázquez Montalbán said this about the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Do you believe that London is being pasteurised too?
No, I’m quite confident that London is too big and too anarchic to be seriously pasteurised by the games. It’s so big, so filthy, so nasty that it could probably eat twenty Olympiads for breakfast and spit out the Ferroconcrete bones.

H/T to Charles Stross for the link.

February 5, 2012

Your Super Bowl TV watching schedule

Filed under: Football, Humour, Media — Tags: , , , , , — Nicholas @ 11:54

Scott Stinson charts exactly what will happen over the long, long, long, long, long, long, long hours of the pre-game show leading up to kickoff sometime in the next 48 hours:

Planning to watch the Super Bowl? A little leery about the six-and-a-half-hour pre-game show? Fear not, we can provide you with an approximate guide for what you will see. Read this, then spend time with your family instead. Win-win! (All times approximate, by which we mean made up.)

12:00 p.m. NBC’s broadcast is coming to you live from Indianapolis, which means we begin with Bob Costas trying to: (a) argue that Indianapolis is a great place and that the game is somehow more meaningful for being there; and (b) keep a straight face

12:32 p.m. First shot of Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski walking on his injured ankle. Will he play? Will he be effective? Fortunately, we have six hours to listen to people come up with ever more inventive ways to say “maybe.”

12:45 p.m. Costas gives an earnest speech about Indianapolis, home of the iconic Colts franchise. Not mentioned: Most of the iconic stuff happened in Baltimore, before the owner snuck the team out of town in the dead of night. In Indy, the history of the franchise’s fortunes can be summed up as “crappycrappycrappyPeytonManningcrappy.”

1:02 p.m. Time to soak in some of the exciting moments from the official “tailgate” party, which is in fact nowhere near a parking lot. Musical act falls under the category of “Popular Enough Once That Some People in Audience Have Heard of Them, But Not So Popular That We Would Want Them on TV For Long.” So, Fleetwood Mac, Alabama or 3 Doors Down.

1:04 p.m. The real question here is whether the performance rivals that of the tailgate party a few years back, when Journey appeared and caused America to collectively wonder when Steve Perry turned into a Fillipino guy with long hair.

Update: For those of you who only watch the Super Bowl for the ads (and I know there are lots of you), Reuters has most of the “big” ads collated into one post for your convenience. This is especially useful for those of us north of the 49th parallel, where many of the ads will be overlaid with the same crappy commercials we’ve seen all year. I’m not normally a fan of “there ought to be a law” solutions, but I’d be less than upset if CRTC regulations prohibited showing the same commercial 6-8 times per hour. (If nothing else, that level of repetition probably irritates potential customers more than it attracts them.)

Update, 6 February: It looks like the Reuters collection in the first update was intended to emphasize the lamest of the ads. There’s another collection in the National Post with more. (I don’t follow hockey, but I did think the Budweiser hockey ad was well done, even if they just stole the idea from an improv group.)

January 28, 2012

Revising the NFL’s rating system

Filed under: Football — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 13:32

The NFL keeps lots and lots of statistics, but the traditional way of ranking teams is based on total yardage gained and lost. Using that measurement, the two worst defensive teams in the league were the top seeds in their respective conferences, and one of them is appearing in the Super Bowl next week. That doesn’t seem to be an accurate way of comparing teams, as John Holler points out:

A more accurate reflection should be taking in three factors, not just yards gained or allowed. In realistic terms, there should be two other criteria measured. Seeing as games are decided by points scored, that should be factored in. Also, there are defenses that are known as “bend, don’t break.” They allow yards, but, once in the red zone, they stiffen up and turn potential touchdowns into field goals.

While not a perfect system, the numbers bear out that this is a much more accurate reflection of the true value of an offense or a defense. According to the “official” numbers, the Eagles were a top-eight team in both offense and defense. Reality said otherwise.

What follow are VU’s reality rankings of NFL offenses and defenses. Each team is ranked in three categories – yards, points and red zone touchdown percentage. The first figure is where offenses and defenses were ranked for comparison purposes.

[. . .]

Offense

Defence

1. New England – 2-3-2 (7)
2. Green Bay – 3-1-3 (7)
3. New Orleans – 1-2-6 (9)
4. Detroit – 5-4-4 (13)
5. Carolina – 7-5½-7 (19½)
6. San Diego – 6-5½-10 (21½)
7. N.Y. Giants – 8-9-8 (25)
8. Philadelphia – 4-8-14 (26)
9. Atlanta – 10-7-13 (30)
10. N.Y. Jets – 25-13-1 (39)
11. Buffalo – 14-14-11 (39)
12. Oakland – 9-16-16 (41)
13. Tennessee – 17-21½-5 (43½)
14. Baltimore – 15-12-17 (44)
15. Dallas – 11-15-20 (46)
16. Minnesota – 19-19-9 (46)
17. Houston – 13-10-25 (48)
18. Pittsburgh – 12-21½-18 (51½)
19. Chicago – 24-17-12 (53)
20. Arizona – 19-24-15 (58)
21. Cincinnati – 20-18-26 (64)
22. Miami – 22-20-24 (66)
23. Tampa Bay – 21-27-19 (67)
24. San Francisco – 26-11-30 (67)
25. Denver – 23-25-23 (71)
26. Washington – 16-26-29 (71)
27. Seattle – 28-23-22 (73)
28. Jacksonville – 32-28½-21 (81½)
29. Indianapolis – 30- 28½-27 (85½)
30. Cleveland – 29-30-28 (87)
31. Kansas City – 27-31-32 (90)
32. St. Louis – 31-32-31 (94)

1. Baltimore – 3-3-1 (7)
2. San Francisco – 4-2-4 (10)
3. Houston – 2-4-9 (15)
4. Pittsburgh – 1-1-17 (19)
5. Cleveland – 10-5-3 (18)
6. Miami – 15-6-6 (27)
7. Seattle – 9-7-11 (27)
8. Tennessee – 18½-8-10 (36½)
9. Arizona – 18½-17-2 (37½)
10. Chicago – 17-14-7 (38)
11. Atlanta – 12-18-8 (38)
12. Washington – 13-21-5 (39)
13. Jacksonville – 6-11-23 (40)
14. N.Y. Jets – 5-20-16 (41)
15. Cincinnati – 7-9-25 (41)
16. Kansas City – 11-12-18 (41)
17. Philadelphia – 8-10-30 (48)
18. Dallas – 14-16-19 (49)
19. Detroit – 23-23-12 (58)
20. Denver – 20-24-15 (59)
21. St. Louis – 22-26-13 (61)
22. New Orleans – 24-13-28 (65)
23. Minnesota – 21-31-14 (66)
24. San Diego – 16-22-29 (67)
25. New England – 31-15-21½ (67.5)
26. Green Bay – 32-19-20 (71)
27. N.Y. Giants – 27-25-21½ (73½)
28. Carolina – 28-27-27 (82)
29. Indianapolis – 25-28-31 (84)
30. Oakland – 29-29-26 (84)
31. Tampa Bay – 30-32-24 (86)
32. Buffalo – 26-30-32 (88)

January 22, 2012

Souhan: Perhaps Leslie Frazier is on the right track after all

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 10:57

The Vikings’ season is over, but the chatter carries on. Jim Souhan, however, looks at the surviving playoff contenders and draws an interesting conclusion:

An apology is required.

Yes, one may eventually be asked of Vikings coach Leslie Frazier for building a coaching staff filled with people who have either been demoted or have yet to prove they can succeed at their current jobs.

Today, though, let me be the one to offer the apology.

I’m sorry, Leslie, for questioning whether your vintage football philosophies could work in the modern world.

I’m sorry for questioning whether your vision of the bareknuckle 1985 Bears had skewed your perspective on the NFL in the Year of the Mayan Prophecy, when passes flew in NFL stadia like locusts in the Old Testament.

Whether your coaches and players will be good enough to win remains in doubt, but your philosophies will be on display all day Sunday, in the NFL’s conference championship games.

Three of the four remaining teams play black-and-white football in the age of 3D color. Sunday provides proof that Frazier’s vision of winning with a powerful running game and a stout defense doesn’t necessarily require that he undergo Lasik surgery.

January 15, 2012

Tim Tebow and David Bowie, as one: Tebowie

Filed under: Football, Humour, Media — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 11:59

Denny Green as a coaching talent spotter

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 11:39

While the current Minnesota Vikings management goes through the fire-and-hire cycle for the coaching staff who finished the 3-13 season, it’s perhaps of some value to recognize how important the junior coaches can be to ensuring long-term team success. At the Star Tribune, Jim Souhan lists the rather stellar cast of assistant coaches former Vikings head coach Denny Green assembled at the start of his tenure with Minnesota:

After Roger Headrick hired him away from Stanford, Green assembled a staff that included Tony Dungy, Tom Moore, Monte Kiffin, John Teerlinck, Ty Willingham, Willie Shaw and Brian Billick. Green even brought in two players, Mike Tice and Jack Del Rio, who would become NFL head coaches.

At the time, nobody knew just how impressive that list of names would become.

Dungy rehabilitated a sagging career as Green’s defensive coordinator and became an outstanding head coach.

Tom Moore coached receivers for Green. Not until he mentored Peyton Manning as the Colts offensive coordinator would his methods gain fame.

Monte Kiffin coached inside linebackers. He would become one of the great defensive coordinators in NFL history.

Brian Billick coached tight ends. He would win a Super Bowl while running the Ravens.

Willie Shaw coached the secondary for Green; he would become an NFL defensive coordinator. His son now coaches Stanford.

Ty Willingham would become the coach at Notre Dame and Teerlinck would coach the Colts defensive line for Dungy when they won the Super Bowl.

Coaches are not the total answer: even the best coaching staff in the world is limited by the skills and talents of the players they have to work with. But a good player can elevate his game with the assistance of good coaching. The quality of your coaching staff will make a difference to the total performance of your team.

January 9, 2012

The Gospel according to Tebow

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 13:01

I’m not a Tebow fan, but I did find this John Holler bit amusing:

The Gospel According to Tebow added another chapter Sunday. It may be time to recite Tim Tebow victories like Bible verses. Sunday, he completed 10 of 21 passes, officially recorded as Tebow 10:21. Vikings fans are familiar with Tebow 10:15, one of the more profound verses in the Gospel. Kansas City is no stranger to the Book of Tebow, but they are forced to recite Tebow 2:8 (a particularly harsh verse in the Leviticus vein) and Tebow 6:22. San Diego has read Tebow 9:18. The Jets know the nearby verse of Tebow 9:20 by heart. The Patriots version of Tebow 11:22 will be posted on the locker room wall this week. Buffalo fans still shudder at the sound of Tebow 13:29. Amen, so shall it be.

January 7, 2012

Vikings fire only defensive coach whose unit did well this year

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 00:08

Okay, I admit I’m stumped: the Minnesota Vikings had a putrid 2011 season. They lost games they should have won and they barely managed to win the games they should have dominated. I get it that the defence was clearly a problem and that changes were going to have to be made. What I don’t understand is that the only coach on the defence whose unit played well is the very first coach to be fired:

“This is what they wanted,” Dunbar said in a phone interview with the Star Tribune. “Coach Frazier told me the ownership wanted to go in a different direction. And for me, that’s fine. As football coaches, we know we’re all migrant workers and we go where the jobs are. Now, my job in Minnesota is over.”

Dunbar joined the Vikings in 2006 when Brad Childress became coach and helped the defensive line establish a reputation as a sturdy, run-stopping unit. Pat Williams, Kevin Williams and Jared Allen all earned Pro Bowl invitations while playing under Dunbar. And this season, despite the well-documented struggles of the entire defense, the d-line may have had the most solid season of any Vikings’ position group, ranking 11th in the NFL against the run. The Vikings also tallied 50 sacks as a team with defensive end setting a new single-season team record with 22.

Still, after a 3-13 finish, Frazier has vowed to shake things up and make significant changes to his coaching staff. Dunbar’s exit is likely just the start of the revolving door at Winter Park.

Dunbar said he wasn’t able to diagnose the root cause of the Vikings’ 3-13 freefall.

“I’m a position coach,” he said. “I’m not a coordinator. I’m not a head coach. When I look at what I did with the Minnesota Vikings, my piece of the puzzle was to make the defensive line play as well as they could. We played well against the run. I think we finished No. 11 against the run. And we finished No. 1 in sacks. And the guy I coached led the league in sacks with 22 on a team that really didn’t have a lead the last eight games of the year. So I thought that was my piece of the puzzle. I can’t worry about running backs, defensive backs, receivers, linebackers. When you do it, you focus on your job, put your piece of the puzzle in and go from there.”

If your defence was putrid — and it was, between injuries and legal issues — someone has to be seen to pay, but why is the only guy whose players more than earned their salaries the first one to go? I just don’t get it.

January 2, 2012

Vikings lose to Bears, clinch third overall pick in the 2012 draft

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 13:32

The season ended just the most appropriate way possible: with a loss featuring dumb penalties, inconsistent play, and a not-quite-NFL-record-setting sack total from Jared Allen, the only Viking going to the Pro Bowl this year.

Tom Pelissero is predicting some swift changes in the coaching staff now that the season is done, almost certainly starting with the firing (or demotion) of defensive co-ordinator Fred Pagac:

(more…)

NFL week 17 results

Filed under: Football — Tags: — Nicholas @ 10:33

Oh, well: finished the season tied for 33rd spot in the AoSHQ pool. If the Vikings had developed the habit of covering the spread, I’d have finished at least ten spots higher in the pool. I’m reminded of the very first football pool I ever entered (I won third prize, which slightly more than repaid my weekly contributions): the winner knew almost nothing about football but she decided her picks based on the colour of the teams’ uniforms or the interest she had in visiting the two competing cities. I should say also that she won in a walk: several points ahead of the number two player who was a football fanatic (I don’t know if he ever really got over the loss).

    Detroit 41 @Green Bay 45
    San Francisco 34 @St. Louis 27
    @Miami 19 New York (NYJ) 17
    @Minnesota 13 Chicago 17
    @New England 49 Buffalo 21
    @New Orleans 45 Carolina 17
    @Philadelphia 34 Washington 10
    @Jacksonville 19 Indianapolis 13
    Tennessee 23 @Houston 22
    @Atlanta 45 Tampa Bay 24
    Baltimore 24 @Cincinnati 16
    @Cleveland 9 Pittsburgh 13
    @Denver 3 Kansas City 7
    @Oakland 26 San Diego 38
    @Arizona 23 Seattle 20
    @New York (NYG) 31 Dallas 14

This week: 10-6 (8-8 against the spread)
Regular season: 152-104 (120-126 against the spread: 10 pushes)

January 1, 2012

NFL week 17 predictions

Filed under: Football — Tags: — Nicholas @ 11:51

I’m hoping for a strong finish to the regular season, although I’m trailing the leaders in the AoSHQ pool pretty badly now. While I always pick Minnesota to win, this would be a good week — for draft positioning anyway — for them not to win against the Bears. If they lose today, the worst they’d be in the 2012 draft would be third: if they win, they could drop several spots.

    Detroit vs @Green Bay (3.5) Sun 1:00
    San Francisco vs @St. Louis (10.5) Sun 1:00
    @Miami vs New York (NYJ) (2.5) Sun 1:00
    @Minnesota vs Chicago (1.0) Sun 1:00
    @New England vs Buffalo (11.0) Sun 1:00
    @New Orleans vs Carolina (8.0) Sun 1:00
    @Philadelphia vs Washington (8.5) Sun 1:00
    @Jacksonville vs Indianapolis (3.5) Sun 1:00
    Tennessee vs @Houston (3.0) Sun 1:00
    @Atlanta vs Tampa Bay (12.0) Sun 1:00
    Baltimore vs @Cincinnati (2.0) Sun 4:15
    @Cleveland vs Pittsburgh (0) Sun 4:15
    @Denver vs Kansas City (3.5) Sun 4:15
    @Oakland vs San Diego (3.0) Sun 4:15
    @Arizona vs Seattle (3.0) Sun 4:15
    @New York (NYG) vs Dallas (3.0) Sun 8:30

Last week: 11-5 (9-7 against the spread)
Season to date 142-98

December 31, 2011

Vikings start to assess their greatest needs in the 2012 draft and free agency

Filed under: Football — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 11:17

With the final regular season game tomorrow, the Vikings will close up shop until the run-up to the draft. John Holler looks at the current roster and points to obvious areas of need that must be addressed before the start of the 2012 NFL season.

(more…)

December 27, 2011

NFL week 16 results

Filed under: Football — Tags: — Nicholas @ 10:22

A good outing this week, but still not enough to move me very far back up the leaderboard in the AoSHQ pool. I’m now sharing 34th spot with two others (15 points behind the group leader).

    Houston 16 @Indianapolis 19
    Denver 14 @Buffalo 40
    @Cincinnati 23 Arizona 16
    @Tennessee 23 Jacksonville 17
    @Kansas City 13 Oakland 16
    @New England 27 Miami 24
    @New York (NYJ) 14 New York (NYG) 29
    @Pittsburgh 27 St. Louis 0
    @Washington 26 Minnesota 33
    @Carolina 48 Tampa Bay 16
    @Baltimore 20 Cleveland 14
    @Detroit 38 San Diego 10
    @Dallas 7 Philadelphia 20
    San Francisco 19 @Seattle 17
    @Green Bay 35 Chicago 21
    @New Orleans 45 Atlanta 16

This week: 11-5 (9-7 against the spread)
Season to date 142-98

December 25, 2011

Vikings win yesterday was bittersweet: they won the game, but lost Adrian Peterson

Filed under: Football, History, Military — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 14:00

The game at Washington was never going to change much in the playoff picture: neither team is going to the post-season this year, but both teams were playing for pride. In the end, the Vikings won despite losing their starting quarterback and all-world running back on sequential plays. The win was a bit of a palliative for a doomed season, but the injury to Adrian Peterson sets next season into question.

Christopher Gates dips into his history texts to find the best way to describe yesterday’s game:

Pyrrhic victory (PIR-ik VIK-tuh-ree) n. A victory that is offset by staggering losses

The term “phyrric victory” is named after King Pyrrhus of Epirus, who did battle with the Romans in the Battle of Heraclea in 280 B.C. and the Battle of Asculum in 279 B.C. In both battles, the Romans suffered greater casualties than Pyrrhus’ army did. . .however, the Romans had a significantly larger base from which to draw troops. So, in essence, Pyrrhus’ victories came at too high a price, as he even went so far as to say that another such victory would be his undoing.

That’s pretty much what we saw today at FedEx Field in Washington, D.C., as the Minnesota Vikings fought like hell when it would have been easy to roll over, and got themselves a 33-26 victory over the Washington Redskins. The victory guarantees that they will a) not be the single-worst team in Minnesota Vikings’ history in terms of win-loss record, and b) no longer eligible for the top overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft.

While I still think Christian Ponder will develop into a good, dependable NFL quarterback, I’ve been a fan of Joe Webb since he was drafted. I’m delighted to see that he is getting the opportunity to showcase his diverse skill set, and I’d be even happier if the team can work him into games more regularly.

(more…)

December 24, 2011

NFL week 16 predictions

Filed under: Football — Tags: — Nicholas @ 10:13

It’s inexplicable why Indianapolis even tried to win Thursday night’s game, unless it’s a psychological ploy to play with the heads of fans in St. Louis and Minnesota (who suddenly have slightly more than a mathematical chance at the top pick in the 2012 draft due to the Colt’s unexpected win). Didn’t they get the message that they were supposed to “suck for Luck”?

    Houston 16 @Indianapolis 19
    Denver vs @Buffalo (3.0) Sat 1:00
    @Cincinnati vs Arizona (4.0) Sat 1:00
    @Tennessee vs Jacksonville (7.5) Sat 1:00
    @Kansas City vs Oakland (1.5) Sat 1:00
    @New England vs Miami (9.5) Sat 1:00
    @New York (NYJ) vs New York (NYG) (3.0) Sat 1:00
    @Pittsburgh vs St. Louis (0) Sat 1:00
    @Washington vs Minnesota (6.5) Sat 1:00
    @Carolina vs Tampa Bay (7.5) Sat 1:00
    @Baltimore vs Cleveland (13.0) Sat 1:00
    @Detroit vs San Diego (2.5) Sat 4:05
    @Dallas vs Philadelphia (2.0) Sat 4:15
    San Francisco vs @Seattle (2.5) Sat 4:15
    @Green Bay vs Chicago (13.0) Sat 8:20
    @New Orleans vs Atlanta (6.5) Mon 8:30

Last week: 6-10 (6-10 against the spread)
Season to date 131-94 (including Thursday’s result)

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