Quotulatiousness

January 17, 2018

JourneyQuest S03E10 – “Gods & Heroes”

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 06:00

Zombie Orpheus Entertainment
Published on 16 Jan 2018

A note from the creators:

First, by the gods, watch the scene after the credits! Second, Matt Vancil (as of 01/16/2018) is in the middle of writing Seasons 4 & 5. There’s much more story to tell with all of these characters. Except for the Woodcutter. He’s dead af. Sucks to be him.

The wisdom of Zim Tzu, NFC championship edition

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 05:00

After every regular season and post-season game, the NFL requires that the head coach of each team address the media. Minnesota Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer is not a fan of this rule, but he follows the rules as needed. His lack of enthusiasm for dealing with media swine is noteworthy, and his carefully guarded words are crafted to avoid both giving away essential information to upcoming opponents and avoid facing NFL fines. Under the circumstances, a high quality fan publication like the Daily Norseman would be well advised to employ a highly trained Zimspeak consultant to tease out the real meanings of the zen-like koans that fill a typical Mike Zimmer press conference. Unfortunately, like most fan publications, DN doesn’t have the budget for fripperies like that so instead they get Ted Glover to provide his own unique view of what Zim Tzu really meant:

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January 15, 2018

Top Gear Discusses Emergency Sirens

Filed under: Britain, Humour — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 02:00

Jacob Epstein
Published on 12 Jun 2014

Series 18, Episode 7

QotD: Adultery

Filed under: Humour, Quotations — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 01:00

But my dear, it’s only philandering when men do it. When women do it, it’s philanthropy.

Lucy Ellmann, “What Made Helen Run? The saucy life and times of the Cosmo queen, more or less in her own voice”, Bookforum, 2016-06.

January 12, 2018

The wisdom of Zim Tzu, pre-divisional round edition

Filed under: Football, Humour — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 05:00

This Sunday, the Minnesota Vikings will host the New Orleans Saints in the NFC Divisional round. By league rules, the head coach of each team must address the media at least once before the game, and despite his deep revulsion for all things media-related, Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer held the obligatory press conference earlier this week. As always, Zim Tzu does not dispense his wisdom lightly or to those who are incapable of comprehending the totality of his vision. For those benighted souls, the Daily Norseman gets their only black belt Zim Tzu disciple to provide an informed and educated translation of the guru’s brilliance, appropriately interpreted for the unwashed masses:

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QotD: Gaelic

Filed under: Europe, Humour, Quotations — Tags: , , — Nicholas @ 01:00

Gaelic (or anything Goidelic or Brythonic) is lost, and for a very simple reason. Once one sees it written down, one loses heart. One doubts that anyone could ever have spoken it aloud. Every word of this “mouth music” looks plainly unpronounceable; and proves unpronounceable to those unprepared from birth to speak it, not only from the centre of the mouth, like an Englishman, but from both sides, and every other part of the anatomy. (Compare: desert Arabic.)

David Warren, “Of mercy & forgiveness”, Essays in Idleness, 2016-06-02.

January 10, 2018

JourneyQuest S03E09 – “Black Robe Stuff”

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 04:00

Zombie Orpheus Entertainment
Published on 9 Jan 2018

Watch the complete, uncut season on Amazon Prime or ZOE Premium (http://www.zombieorpheus.com) and be sure to follow us on Facebook for the latest updates (http://www.facebook.com/zombieorpheus)

Re-partitioning Australia

Filed under: Australia, Humour — Tags: — Nicholas @ 03:00

Jessica Brisbane posted this to Facebook:

[Click to embiggen]

Rowan Atkinson – Interview with Elton John

Filed under: Britain, Humour, Media — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 02:00

SlugBalancer
Published on 23 Mar 2009

Rowan Atkinson interviews Elton John at Hysteria 3 (1991)

January 9, 2018

QotD: Moderation

Filed under: Humour, Quotations, Wine — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 01:00

Three kraters [bowls used for wine] do I mix for the temperate: one to health, which they empty first, the second to love and pleasure, the third to sleep. When this bowl is drunk up, wise guests go home. The fourth bowl is ours no longer, but belongs to hubris, the fifth to uproar, the sixth to prancing about, the seventh to black eyes, the eighth brings the police, the ninth belongs to vomiting, and the tenth to insanity and the hurling of furniture.

Eubulus, attributing the words to the god Dionysus

January 5, 2018

QotD: Revolutions and revolutionaries

Filed under: Humour, Politics, Quotations — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 01:00

People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.

As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up. What would run through the streets soon enough wouldn’t be a revolution or a riot. It’d be people who were frightened and panicking. It was what happened when the machinery of city life faltered, the wheels stopped turning, and all the little rules broke down. And when that happened, humans were worse than sheep. Sheep just ran; they didn’t try to bite the sheep next to them.

Terry Pratchett, Night Watch, 2002.

January 4, 2018

“This is what you get when you touch the Orb”

Filed under: Humour, Politics, USA — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 05:00

Jonah Goldberg thinks he’s identified the moment our timeline went screwy, sorta:

Ever since Donald Trump touched the Orb, praise be upon it, I’ve been making “This is what you get when you touch the Orb” jokes.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll tell you: On his trip to the Middle East in May, President Trump, along with the Saudi king and the president of Egypt, laid his hands on a glowing white orb for two minutes (which strikes me as a long time to touch an orb).

The image was like a mix of J.R.R. Tolkien and 1970s low-budget Canadian sci-fi. It looked like they were calling forth powerful eldritch energies from the chthonic depths or perhaps the forbidden zone.

Ever since then, when things have gotten weird, I’ve credited the Orb. For instance, when the Guardian reported that sex between Japanese snow monkeys and Sika deer may now constitute a new “behavioral tradition,” I tweeted, “the Orb has game, you can’t deny it.” When Roy Moore, the GOP Alabama Senate candidate, was plausibly accused of preying on teenagers and many evangelical leaders rallied to his defense, invoking biblical justifications for groping young girls, I admired the Orb’s cunning. And when the bunkered Moore decided to give one of his only interviews to a 12-year-old girl, I sat back and marveled at the Orb’s dark sense of humor.

But I know in my heart that it’s not the Orb’s fault things have gotten so weird, for the simple reason that rampant weirdness predates the Orb-touching by years.

I have a partial theory as to why, and it doesn’t begin with Trump. It begins with a failure of elites and the institutions they run.

January 3, 2018

JourneyQuest S03E08 – “One Simple Thing”

Filed under: Gaming, Humour — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 04:00

Zombie Orpheus Entertainment
Published on 2 Jan 2018

Watch the complete, uncut season on Amazon Prime or ZOE Premium (http://www.zombieorpheus.com) and be sure to follow us on Facebook for the latest updates (http://www.facebook.com/zombieorpheus)

Oregon reacts in horror to the idea of pumping their own gas

Filed under: Business, Humour, Law, USA — Tags: , , , — Nicholas @ 03:00

Full-service gas stations have been on the endangered list for a long time … I can’t remember the last time I saw one in my travels. Apparently, if I’d been to Oregon, that’s all I’d have encountered because it’s one of two states that forbid drivers to pump their own gas. At least, that was until the start of 2018, when Oregon allowed certain rural gas stations to allow self-service, and you’d think the world was about to end, based on these Facebook comments:

Click to see Facebook comments.

Sandy Franklin I don’t even know HOW to pump gas and I am 62, native Oregonian…..I say NO THANKS! I don’t want to smell like gasoline!

Cathy Dahl No! Disabled, seniors, people with young children in the car need help. Not to mention getting out of your car with transients around and not feeling safe too. This is a very bad idea. Grrr

Tina Good Not a good idea, there are lots of reason to have an attendant helping, one is they need a job too. Many people are not capable of knowing how to pump gas and the hazards of not doing it correctly. Besides I don’t want to go to work smelling of gas when I get it on my hands or clothes. I agree Very bad idea.

Kyle Allen One time, my dad came to Oregon and pumped his own gas. The street immediately lit on fire and he caused massive recession countrywide because he took away 20 billion jobs by pumping his own gas. I was in the back seat when brother was nabbed through the locked door by a transient creeper who raised him to be his human ottoman. My dad then tried wiping his windshield but the stuff he used turned out to be sulfuric acid. The car exploded with me in it and I died. My dad lost 3 parenting points because he was 2 feet away fueling his car when he could have had someone else do this very simple task for him.

Joseph Kimrey It’s official.
Oregon is full of mentally defective, full grown children, incapable of the most mundane of adult tasks.

Chris Donnelly Apparently most people in Oregon assume that in order to pump gas you must first remove all people from the vehicle and stand in the open while thugs attack from all angles, all while being sprayed with gas

Mike Perrone I’ve lived in this state all my life and I REFUSE to pump my own gas. I had to do it once in California while visiting my brother and almost died doing it. This a service only qualified people should perform. I will literally park at the pump and wait until someone pumps my gas. I can’t even

Shifty McQuick If your only marketable job skill is being able to pump gas, by god, move to Oregon and you will have reached the promised land.

Kelsa Freitas Yuck! Pumping my on fuel in freezing temperatures and handling a nasty ole fuel nozzle that 50 other people have touched that day (and who knows what cooties are on there), no thank you. It’s nice to not have to pump your own fuel.

H/T to M.A. Rothman for linking to the original post.

BAHFest London 2017 – Louie Terrill: Why the Kessler Syndrome is key to humanity’s future

Filed under: Humour, Space — Tags: , , , , — Nicholas @ 02:00

BAHFest
Published on Dec 11, 2017

Watch Louie Terrill at BAHFest London 2017 present his theory, “Making sure we’re all in this together: Why the Kessler Syndrome is key to humanity’s future.”

BAHFest is the Festival of Bad Ad Hoc Hypotheses, a celebration of well-researched, logically explained, and clearly wrong scientific theory. Additional information is available at http://bahfest.com/

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