Quotulatiousness

September 11, 2015

“In the daily cuss-off between Turner and head coach Mike Zimmer, Turner has been the surprise winner”

Filed under: Football — Tags: , — Nicholas @ 04:00

In the Star Tribune, Jim Souhan reveals the surprising result of the coaching cuss-off competition:

Norv Turner strolled through the Vikings locker room Tuesday, cursed amiably and smiled.

Well, “strolled” isn’t exactly the right word. He half-limped, half-creaked — crimped? — across the room, looking exactly like what he is — a lifelong football coach.

There is nothing glamorous about Turner, the Vikings offensive coordinator. He’s made millions in the NFL, has stood on many podiums, won many titles and coached many superstars, but if the NFL were a Batman movie, he’d be Alfred the butler — instructive and wry and comfortable behind the scenes whatever his true ambitions may be.

Well, he’d be Alfred as played by Louis C.K. Turner was blue long before he wore purple.

In the daily cuss-off between Turner and head coach Mike Zimmer, Turner has been the surprise winner. Zimmer is highly qualified in the art of language-seasoning, but he has nothing on Turner in terms of volume, frequency and creativity.

“Norv cusses a lot,” receiver Charles Johnson said.

Does the defense try to get Turner to swear in practice?

“It’s definitely a goal,” safety Harrison Smith said.

Last year, Turner had the right to swear out of frustration. This year he may get to swear in affirmation.

In 2014, Turner’s first season as the Vikings offensive coordinator, he coached with one back tied behind his back, not to mention a tight end.

Before Week 2, All-Pro running back Adrian Peterson began what would in effect become a 15-game suspension. In Week 3, starting quarterback Matt Cassel was lost for the season. All season, tight end Kyle Rudolph — who might have been the primary benefactor of Turner’s system — caught passes in only seven games.

When the coaching staff decided to treat Cordarrelle Patterson as a true pass-catching receiver instead of a wide-ranging running back, the Vikings were left with a rookie quarterback surrounded with inexperienced or unproven skill-position players.

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